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Clips from Silicon Valley - Signaling Risk (S01E01)

"Hmm? What?"
Silicon Valley
"I just got a text from my friend at TechCrunch."
Silicon Valley
"Pied Piper just got into this year's Start-Up Battlefield?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh, really? Oh, that's so cool."
Silicon Valley
"No. No, it isn't. We're already seeded, Richard."
Silicon Valley
"Why would we enter a start-up competition at a tech conference?"
Silicon Valley
"I sent in the application a few months ago"
Silicon Valley
"and I totally forgot about it."
Silicon Valley
"Relax, I will withdraw."
Silicon Valley
"Relax? This house is chaos."
Silicon Valley
"I gave up a great job and stock options at Hooli to come here"
Silicon Valley
"because I thought Pied Piper could be viable,"
Silicon Valley
"but it never will be unless we make some changes."
Silicon Valley
"We need to operate like a business"
Silicon Valley
"or we're not going to..."
Silicon Valley
"Richard? Richard?"
Silicon Valley
"Thanks for coming in, Nelson."
Silicon Valley
"Mr. Belson is very excited to meet with you."
Silicon Valley
"I thought he was in Jackson Hole this week."
Silicon Valley
"Yes, he is. We're going to call him up on the TeleHuman."
Silicon Valley
"It's amazing. It's holographic 3D teleconferencing technology that we've acquired."
Silicon Valley
"It's going to feel as if Gavin is right here"
Silicon Valley
"in the room with you."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, it's him!"
Silicon Valley
"It's him!"
Silicon Valley
"Hello, Nelson. Thanks for meeting with me."
Silicon Valley
"Whoa. Hi. That's cool."
Silicon Valley
"Am I a hologram over there too?"
Silicon Valley
"What? No, of course not."
Silicon Valley
"do you still talk to Richard Hendricks?"
Silicon Valley
"Uh, yeah. I mean, not about Nucleus or anything..."
Silicon Valley
"Why would he enter Pied Piper in TechCrunch Disrupt?"
Silicon Valley
"I know a lot of big players have come out of it,"
Silicon Valley
"Dropbox, Yammer, what have you."
Silicon Valley
"But Peter Gregory's already funding him."
Silicon Valley
"Why would he let Richard do this? It makes no sense."
Silicon Valley
"I don't know. I didn't even know Richard got in."
Silicon Valley
"Is Peter Gregory toying with me?"
Silicon Valley
"Is he trying to make Richard seem folksy?"
Silicon Valley
"Like some aw-shucks boy-genius"
Silicon Valley
"entering an everyman's competition?"
Silicon Valley
"Mr. Bel... Mr. Belson?"
Silicon Valley
"- Can you hear me? - Hello?"
Silicon Valley
"- Can you hear me? - Yeah, it's just..."
Silicon Valley
"- It's sort of fading. - Hel-l-l-lo?"
Silicon Valley
"- Hello. - Hello-ooo."
Silicon Valley
"I'm hearing you, it's just the image is..."
Silicon Valley
"Nelson, shut up for a second."
Silicon Valley
"If you can hear me, make a gesture."
Silicon Valley
"Is that... do you... I hear you."
Silicon Valley
"- Is this... - I have no idea what you're saying, Nelson."
Silicon Valley
"...Nelson. Nelson."
Silicon Valley
"Can you help me, please?"
Silicon Valley
"OK, I think what happened was when you set it up,"
Silicon Valley
"- you forgot to... - I didn't set it up."
Silicon Valley
"I paid one of you people to set it up. Just fix it."
Silicon Valley
"Uh... OK."
Silicon Valley
"Here's the thing, it's not working."
Silicon Valley
"Um, the audio's still working. You could just use that."
Silicon Valley
"The audio is working? Excuse me?!"
Silicon Valley
"I paid twenty million fucking dollars to acquire this company!"
Silicon Valley
"Fuck you, the audio is working!"
Silicon Valley
"Audio worked a hundred fucking years ago!"
Silicon Valley
"You fucking piece of shit-t-t-t..."
Silicon Valley
"- It appears we've lost him. - Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"- Why don't we just Hooli-Chat instead? - Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Ah. That's better."
Silicon Valley
"Sorry. The TeleHuman is a great piece of technology."
Silicon Valley
"Unfortunately, the broadband isn't that great out here in rural Wyoming."
Silicon Valley
"That presents a great business opportu..."
Silicon Valley
"Nelson, make a gesture... hear me."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
Silicon Valley
"Uh... I think you forgot to update your software."
Silicon Valley
"God dammit. Fu...!"
Silicon Valley
"Oh."
Silicon Valley
"Hello. Oh, hi, Gavin."
Silicon Valley
"What's that? I'm sorry,"
Silicon Valley
"you're kind of breaking up there."
Silicon Valley
"He... Hello? Hello?"
Silicon Valley
"OK, let's start the meeting."
Silicon Valley
"I think we need to define our corporate culture."
Silicon Valley
"Our whole corporate culture is that we don't have"
Silicon Valley
"a corporate culture."
Silicon Valley
"That is totally ridiculous, Gilfoyle."
Silicon Valley
"The main reason dogs are perceived to have"
Silicon Valley
"a more keen sense of smell is because their noses are closer to the ground."
Silicon Valley
"Therefore, with a little practice,"
Silicon Valley
"I could easily have as keen a sense of smell as a dog's."
Silicon Valley
"Guys? I guess you didn't see the sign."
Silicon Valley
"We're actually having a meeting here."
Silicon Valley
"Congratulations."
Silicon Valley
"It's sort of for management only."
Silicon Valley
"Are you fucking serious right now?"
Silicon Valley
"Are you really kicking us out?"
Silicon Valley
"Well, I thought, maybe you guys could just"
Silicon Valley
"take your food into the living room?"
Silicon Valley
"So you want to have a meeting in the room where all the food is,"
Silicon Valley
"while we eat our food in the room where all of the computers are?"
Silicon Valley
"Guys, just five minutes. Please?"
Silicon Valley
"OK, you see? This... This is a case in point."
Silicon Valley
"This is a company,"
Silicon Valley
"and yet we have no boundaries and no protocol."
Silicon Valley
"We need to establish a clear corporate culture"
Silicon Valley
"or we're not gonna make it."
Silicon Valley
"Take Dinesh and Gilfoyle."
Silicon Valley
"They are wasting an enormous amount of time arguing."
Silicon Valley
"What if we were to separate them, right?"
Silicon Valley
"Divide their existing work space into two areas."
Silicon Valley
"We could put in some kind of portable barrier..."
Silicon Valley
"He's talking about cubicles!"
Silicon Valley
"We are not doing cubicles. No way!"
Silicon Valley
"No, no, no. Don't think of it as a cubicle."
Silicon Valley
"Just think of it as a neutral-colored enclosure,"
Silicon Valley
"about yay-high, around your workspace."
Silicon Valley
"OK, fine. But do you know who uses cubicles?"
Silicon Valley
"Every single Fortune 500 company."
Silicon Valley
"Why? Because they work."
Silicon Valley
"He's trying to turn us into corporate rock, Richard."
Silicon Valley
"- No. - We are punk rock."
Silicon Valley
"Actually, you know, I think a better analogy would be jazz."
Silicon Valley
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