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Clips from Veep - Frozen Yoghurt (S01E01)

"- He's sliding in. - Who knows? Yeah, that feels like a slide."
Veep
"- This happens every time, does it not? - Yes."
Veep
"- It's like Charlie Brown and the football. - Yeah."
Veep
"We're gonna have to rewind this, okay?"
Veep
"Because I've got Dan backgrounding it right now."
Veep
"- What? You asked Dan to do that? - Yeah, I did."
Veep
"I asked him because of the whole "veep point two" thing."
Veep
""Two point me.""
Veep
"The "two point me" thing."
Veep
"Now you have to call him and tell him to stay quiet."
Veep
"And you've got to go down to that yoghurt store."
Veep
"You didn't just roll your eyes, did you?"
Veep
"- No, ma'am. - 'Cause it sure looked like it to me."
Veep
"I can't stand that passive-aggressive stuff."
Veep
"This whole day is turning apocalyptic now."
Veep
"Okay?"
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"Leon, hi."
Veep
"- Just right in here. - Okay, Dan, a very obscure rendezvous."
Veep
"So you either have a very hot story for me,"
Veep
"or you're going to shoot me."
Veep
"I have got a story for you."
Veep
"Things are about to get very veep-tastic."
Veep
"- Mr. Egan. Good to see you. - Anthony."
Veep
"How are you, sir?"
Veep
"We are very excited about the Vice President's visit today."
Veep
"- Oh, as are we. - My son has named a yoghurt after her."
Veep
"Strawberry-Selina. It's very tasty."
Veep
"- Great name. - Who's this one?"
Veep
"Leon West, ma'am. "Washington Post.""
Veep
"Oh, we don't get the "Post.""
Veep
"This is an old, established family store."
Veep
"And we spell yoghurt with an H right there in the middle."
Veep
"I see that. I'll make a note of it."
Veep
"Oh, hey, Dan. You haven't been picking up your phone."
Veep
"Yeah, I've been a little bit busy, Mike."
Veep
"- Hello, Leon. - Hi, Mike."
Veep
"Mike, this is Anthony, the owner of the store."
Veep
"And his lovely mother Maria."
Veep
"You have on a very sweaty shirt."
Veep
"By golly, I do."
Veep
"She speaks her mind. She's 84."
Veep
"No. I had you pegged for 39, ma'am."
Veep
"Mike is so good with facts."
Veep
"We are both very big supporters of this administration."
Veep
"We appreciate that. Thank you."
Veep
"Although it's not always easy."
Veep
"A lot of taxes you guys impose."
Veep
"- A ton of taxes. - Hold on a second."
Veep
"Those taxes are eating us alive."
Veep
"- Gobble, gobble. - This isn't officially..."
Veep
"If you'd excuse us for one moment."
Veep
"- Dan, can I talk to you for a second? - Just one second."
Veep
"Potus Interruptus, that's what I call it. And I'm gonna tell him."
Veep
"Madam Vice President, you can't go back in there for future meetings."
Veep
"What? No. Let me tell you something."
Veep
"You tell that shit- for-brains President..."
Veep
"Madam Vice President, if you would listen to me for just one moment."
Veep
"No, I won't listen to you for one second."
Veep
"- I'm not interested in... - Please, be quiet!"
Veep
"The President is experiencing severe chest pains."
Veep
"We just got word from South Africa."
Veep
"You need to get to the west wing immediately."
Veep
"Oh."
Veep
"I'm so sorry."
Veep
"Ma'am, if you could just make your way in this direction, please."
Veep
"Where are we going?"
Veep
"We're gonna take you to the White House situation room."
Veep
"- Amy, are you here? - I am right by your side."
Veep
"- Where is Gary? Gary, are you here? - I'm right here."
Veep
"I'm right here. What the hell? I'm with her."
Veep
"Should we run?"
Veep
"Leon West? Here?"
Veep
"That's the fucking beltway butcher."
Veep
"Have you told him about clean jobs yet?"
Veep
"I was just about to, shit stack."
Veep
"- Enjoy, gentlemen. - Oh, thank you."
Veep
"We got Leon West here and nothing to give him."
Veep
"- I've got plenty to give him. - No, you don't."
Veep
"Potus wants us to announce clean jobs task force next week when he's in town."
Veep
"So you, my friend, have your cock out at a funeral."
Veep
"- Sprinkles. - Oh, come on."
Veep
"Oh, God."
Veep
"Do you ever write about yoghurt in your newspaper?"
Veep
"No, I don't. I'm not a food writer."
Veep
"What do you write?"
Veep
"I write about politics."
Veep
"I'm interested in lobbying, advocacy groups."
Veep
"Do you know how yoghurt is made?"
Veep
"No, but I'm sure it's fascinating."
Veep
"- Don't patronize me. - All right, you got it."
Veep
"Oh, gentlemen."
Veep
"- Madam Vice President. - Yes?"
Veep
"These would need to be dealt with pretty urgently"
Veep
"should the situation become more serious."
Veep
"We have a Captain Reynolds"
Veep
"of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln."
Veep
"Aircraft carrier."
Veep
"He's expecting a conference call in about 15 minutes"
Veep
"with the President, secretary of state and general marsh."
Veep
"- Pentagon. - Shh, shh."
Veep
"- Could you step in notionally? - Yes."
Veep
"- Thank you. - No problem at all. Thank you."
Veep
"Madam Vice President, may I get you a cup of coffee?"
Veep
"Oh, yes, thank you, Jonah."
Veep
"Excuse me. Pardon me."
Veep
"Have you noticed how he's..."
Veep
"Yeah, he thinks I'm about to be his boss."
Veep
"Yeah, he's gonna be the first to go, by the way."
Veep
"- Hmm, okay. - Dead man walking."
Veep
"- Dan. - Yes?"
Veep
"Can I get a heads-up? 'Cause I'm standing over here like a fucking meerkat."
Veep
"Yes. The truth is I had a huge story to give you."
Veep
"- It's just been back-burnered. - Oh, sorry."
Veep
"No, no, listen. Mike is on his way out, all right?"
Veep
"Either he or his arteries are gonna quit any second."
Veep
"I'm the new face of the veep's office, okay?"
Veep
"- I can bring you major scoops. - You can bring me major scoops?"
Veep
"Hey, come on, I major in major."
Veep
"- Stop doing that. - I'm sorry."
Veep
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