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Clips from Veep - Frozen Yoghurt (S01E01)

"I didn't appreciate the reference"
Veep
"to my potential suicide earlier. I'm not a joke."
Veep
"No, you're the guy with the big bag of lip balm, Gary."
Veep
"You're fucking kissinger."
Veep
"Every single thing you say to me is emasculating."
Veep
"- Do you realize that? - Yes."
Veep
"I think that senator Doyle still might go cold on sponsoring this bill."
Veep
"Well, 've got to warm him up, 'cause we need his support on"
Veep
""junk the jams" or whatever they're calling it now."
Veep
"- "Unclog the backlog." - "Unclog the backlog"?"
Veep
"I do a serious job."
Veep
"I'm next to the veep more than any other human being."
Veep
"You are distantly orbiting her."
Veep
"I'm her moon."
Veep
"So would you take a bullet for the veep, Gary?"
Veep
"- Oh, my God. - No, no, no."
Veep
"Because, you know, you're gonna be right in the line of fire."
Veep
"It's not my job. I would help her if she was down."
Veep
"Right, with the lip balm if she got shot in the lips."
Veep
"That could crack 'em pretty bad."
Veep
"Great, we missed the elevators."
Veep
"Doyle is essential. He's like the Russian doll of the Senate."
Veep
"Comes with little senators inside of him."
Veep
"Hey, Gary, can I have a kleenex?"
Veep
"- Where are my people? - Oh, here they go."
Veep
"Come on."
Veep
"Don't shoot. Don't shoot. Please don't shoot."
Veep
"Shoot him. You can shoot him."
Veep
"Where the hell did you go?"
Veep
"- Dan, you're gonna have to go in the limo. - Oh, sure, yeah."
Veep
"Ma'am, I think we should start ramping up the whole launch"
Veep
"of "two point you" right now."
Veep
"You know, just kind of a little hint out there"
Veep
"about what clean jobs is gonna be."
Veep
"- Yeah, I think the same thing. - I can get right on this."
Veep
"Leon West has given me his private cell."
Veep
"Oh, good. All right, let's set up 10 minutes"
Veep
"of face time with him after the Doyle meeting."
Veep
"Copy that, I'm on it."
Veep
"You know what? I'm nervous about Doyle."
Veep
"- He can be a real hogfucker. - He's a stickler."
Veep
"Wait a minute. Hand sanitizer, ma'am."
Veep
"You know what I heard? Senator Doyle wears pantyhouse."
Veep
"Oh, really?"
Veep
"No. But now that you have that image, he's not that scary."
Veep
"Oh, listen, tell Dan"
Veep
"to start working on the yoghurt store, okay?"
Veep
"Wait a minute, Gary."
Veep
"Gary, this is way too much."
Veep
"What do you want me to do? What?"
Veep
"Okay, let's not do that again, all right?"
Veep
"Andrew, how are you?"
Veep
"Madam Vice President, a pleasure."
Veep
"Oh, come on. Selina, please."
Veep
"Well, let's play this one by the book."
Veep
"- Eric, of course. - We just saw him this morning."
Veep
"Yeah, you spoke about soup."
Veep
"So... should we get to it?"
Veep
"- Let's get to it. - Let's... okay."
Veep
"- I'm gonna lighten this up a little bit. - Please. Please do."
Veep
"Hi, everybody."
Veep
"Well, we have lots to talk about."
Veep
"Yup, let's do some talking."
Veep
"- You need me to sponsor this bill. - Yes, I do."
Veep
"I do need you to do that. And I want to know what you need from me."
Veep
"What do you need? You need some non-earmark earmarks?"
Veep
"You need support during your reelection campaign?"
Veep
"I just won't be photographed eating a hot dog"
Veep
"or any other phallic food."
Veep
"Oops. That was mistake."
Veep
"- Really don't need any of that, ma'am. - Okay."
Veep
"What I need is very simple."
Veep
"Actually, what I would like..."
Veep
"What the hell, Eric?"
Veep
"What was that? What just happened?"
Veep
"He was gonna seze on you and I blocked it."
Veep
"I am so sorry, madam Vice President."
Veep
"That is nice work, Eric. I mean, you want to take another shot?"
Veep
"I don'think we're drenched at this end of the table."
Veep
"- Oh, my God. I'm sorry. - That scared me to death."
Veep
"He can be a gold-plated fucking shit gibbing."
Veep
"- He works for you. - I mean, he almost sneezed in your face."
Veep
"I think it's treason. Let me get you a cup of coffee."
Veep
"I would love a cup of coffee."
Veep
"Oh, my goodness."
Veep
"Listen, I've got this covered now."
Veep
"Okay? Why don't you go round up a few more senators?"
Veep
"- Okay, you sure? - Mm-hmm, filibuster smackdown."
Veep
"- That's what I call it. - All right, dig it."
Veep
"Oh, wow, I'm shaking from that. Are you guys?"
Veep
"No, we perfectly understand senator Murray's reservations."
Veep
"Yeah, of course, she must be guided by her conscience."
Veep
"No hard feelings whatsoever."
Veep
"- Uh, Dan? - Yeah?"
Veep
"I hope you don't take this the wrong way,"
Veep
"but can I just say? You kinda look like an asshole."
Veep
"Hello. Did you tell them, Amy? Oh, come on. Come on."
Veep
"- I took a bullet for the veep. - How'd you take a bullet, Gary?"
Veep
"It was a sneeze bullet. Right in the face."
Veep
"Saved Selina from the bug. Pure instinct."
Veep
"It was like a dirty bomb and I... bam..."
Veep
"Dived on it. Mmm!"
Veep
"Hey, hey, it's the flunkies."
Veep
"And people say you're bad at your jobs."
Veep
"- You here to spy, Jonah? - I'm not here to spy."
Veep
"I work at the White House, so I can just walk in and say,"
Veep
""I'm from the White House. What the fuck are you doing?""
Veep
"What? You work at the White House?"
Veep
"- Oh, my God. Can I blow you? - Uh, yes, you can."
Veep
"I will meet you out in the hallway in a few seconds."
Veep
"Sure, I'll get a stepladder."
Veep
"Anyway, I work for the White House. What the fuck are you doing?"
Veep
"Trying to figure out what flavor frozen yoghurt the veep should get."
Veep
"Mint."
Veep
"It implies freshness, trust, traditional values."
Veep
"- Fascinating. - This is one of my areas."
Veep
"Yeah, food choices. Seriously, put it up."
Veep
"Oh, swirl. Racial harmony and crossing the aisle."
Veep
"So is cookies and cream."
Veep
"White House. This is Jonah."
Veep
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