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Clips from Hamster & Gretel - Cheer Cheer Bang Bang/La Ballad of La Cebolla (S01E01)

Isn't it illegal to make kids work?

"Isn't it illegal to make kids work?"

Hamster & Gretel

Gretel. It's math homework, not coal mining.

"Gretel. It's math homework, not coal mining."

Hamster & Gretel

Well, I don't want to mine coal

"Well, I don't want to mine coal"

Hamster & Gretel

and I don't wanna do math.

"and I don't wanna do math."

Hamster & Gretel

Kids. I did it. I did it.

"Kids. I did it. I did it."

Hamster & Gretel

Tonight I am finally going to make your mother cry.

"Tonight I am finally going to make your mother cry."

Hamster & Gretel

Um, at your anniversary dinner?

"Um, at your anniversary dinner?"

Hamster & Gretel

Yes! Every year your mom goes above and beyond

"Yes! Every year your mom goes above and beyond"

Hamster & Gretel

and gives me the most amazing gift ever.

"and gives me the most amazing gift ever."

Hamster & Gretel

And where's the problem?

"And where's the problem?"

Hamster & Gretel

They're always better than my gifts

"They're always better than my gifts"

Hamster & Gretel

and it makes me feel terrible.

"and it makes me feel terrible."

Hamster & Gretel

Thanks for the locket, mi vida.

"Thanks for the locket, mi vida."

Hamster & Gretel

I tracked down this rare family heirloom

"I tracked down this rare family heirloom"

Hamster & Gretel

your grandfather lost in the war.

"your grandfather lost in the war."

Hamster & Gretel

(STRANGLED SOB) And I also tracked down your grandfather

"(STRANGLED SOB) And I also tracked down your grandfather"

Hamster & Gretel

who was lost in the war.

"who was lost in the war."

Hamster & Gretel

Jamie Boy. (SOBBING)

"Jamie Boy. (SOBBING)"

Hamster & Gretel

Well, finding Papa sure is a hard one to beat.

"Well, finding Papa sure is a hard one to beat."

Hamster & Gretel

This year, I'm gonna win.

"This year, I'm gonna win."

Hamster & Gretel

I'm going to give her a video documenting

"I'm going to give her a video documenting"

Hamster & Gretel

all the most important moments of our lives.

"all the most important moments of our lives."

Hamster & Gretel

I had it professionally edited and it's three hours long

"I had it professionally edited and it's three hours long"

Hamster & Gretel

with two intermissions.

"with two intermissions."

Hamster & Gretel

It's going to make her cry.

"It's going to make her cry."

Hamster & Gretel

All right, well, have fun with that.

"All right, well, have fun with that."

Hamster & Gretel

I have the much more difficult job

"I have the much more difficult job"

Hamster & Gretel

of getting Gretel to do her math homework.

"of getting Gretel to do her math homework."

Hamster & Gretel

I'd rather mine coal.

"I'd rather mine coal."

Hamster & Gretel

Dad, just make sure you backed up that file.

"Dad, just make sure you backed up that file."

Hamster & Gretel

Don't worry, it's all uploaded to the cloud.

"Don't worry, it's all uploaded to the cloud."

Hamster & Gretel

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

"(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)"

Hamster & Gretel

That's an ominous cloud.

"That's an ominous cloud."

Hamster & Gretel

All right.

"All right."

Hamster & Gretel

Howdy, folks, I'm here to free you all

"Howdy, folks, I'm here to free you all"

Hamster & Gretel

from your mind-numbing talkie boxes.

"from your mind-numbing talkie boxes."

Hamster & Gretel

Drop the cell phone.

"Drop the cell phone."

Hamster & Gretel

(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

"(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)"

Hamster & Gretel

Zap! Zappity zap zap. Zap.

"Zap! Zappity zap zap. Zap."

Hamster & Gretel

Zappity zap. Zap, zap. Zap, zap.

"Zappity zap. Zap, zap. Zap, zap."

Hamster & Gretel

Zappity zap. Zap, zap.

"Zappity zap. Zap, zap."

Hamster & Gretel

Yee-haw!

"Yee-haw!"

Hamster & Gretel

A new age starts today.

"A new age starts today."

Hamster & Gretel

Wait. My phone is dead.

"Wait. My phone is dead."

Hamster & Gretel

My cappuccino phone photos are gone.

"My cappuccino phone photos are gone."

Hamster & Gretel

(WAILING) No!

"(WAILING) No!"

Hamster & Gretel

So, question two, a train is traveling from point A to point B at 30 miles an hour.

"So, question two, a train is traveling from point A to point B at 30 miles an hour."

Hamster & Gretel

Yes. I just took out Hamster's artillery.

"Yes. I just took out Hamster's artillery."

Hamster & Gretel

You have no honor.

"You have no honor."

Hamster & Gretel

Come on, Gretel.

"Come on, Gretel."

Hamster & Gretel

Put your phone down and focus. (GROANS WITH IRRITATION)

"Put your phone down and focus. (GROANS WITH IRRITATION)"

Hamster & Gretel

Now, a train is traveling...

"Now, a train is traveling..."

Hamster & Gretel

Why is there always a train?

"Why is there always a train?"

Hamster & Gretel

...from point A to point B at 74 miles per hour.

"...from point A to point B at 74 miles per hour."

Hamster & Gretel

People still even use trains?

"People still even use trains?"

Hamster & Gretel

If point B is 60 miles away,

"If point B is 60 miles away,"

Hamster & Gretel

how long will it take the train to reach point B?

"how long will it take the train to reach point B?"

Hamster & Gretel

Two seconds, because I'll fly there. Problem solved.

"Two seconds, because I'll fly there. Problem solved."

Hamster & Gretel

Gretel... Kevin, I'm a superhero now.

"Gretel... Kevin, I'm a superhero now."

Hamster & Gretel

You don't need math to lift things, fly super-fast,

"You don't need math to lift things, fly super-fast,"

Hamster & Gretel

or punch bad guys.

"or punch bad guys."

Hamster & Gretel

Everyone, even superheroes, need to learn math.

"Everyone, even superheroes, need to learn math."

Hamster & Gretel

Nope. Yes.

"Nope. Yes."

Hamster & Gretel

No, times a jillion. That's math.

"No, times a jillion. That's math."

Hamster & Gretel

Even though a jillion isn't a number,

"Even though a jillion isn't a number,"

Hamster & Gretel

which you would know if you learned math.

"which you would know if you learned math."

Hamster & Gretel

(RAPID BEEPING)

"(RAPID BEEPING)"

Hamster & Gretel

Oh no, there's a new supervillain in town.

"Oh no, there's a new supervillain in town."

Hamster & Gretel

People are in trouble.

"People are in trouble."

Hamster & Gretel

All right, fine. You save the day.

"All right, fine. You save the day."

Hamster & Gretel

Then, math. What did you say after save the day?

"Then, math. What did you say after save the day?"

Hamster & Gretel

I couldn't hear you. I was busy not doing math.

"I couldn't hear you. I was busy not doing math."

Hamster & Gretel

Gretel, I said we're going to do that math homework.

"Gretel, I said we're going to do that math homework."

Hamster & Gretel

Let's fly.

"Let's fly."

Hamster & Gretel

I know you can hear me.

"I know you can hear me."

Hamster & Gretel

No, I can't.

"No, I can't."

Hamster & Gretel

I'm flying faster than the speed of sound.

"I'm flying faster than the speed of sound."

Hamster & Gretel

Again, that's math!

"Again, that's math!"

Hamster & Gretel

Well, technically it's physics, which is just hard math!

"Well, technically it's physics, which is just hard math!"

Hamster & Gretel

(NEWS INTRO PLAYS)

"(NEWS INTRO PLAYS)"

Hamster & Gretel

Veronica Hill on scene downtown,

"Veronica Hill on scene downtown,"

Hamster & Gretel

where a cowboy-themed supervillain is using lightning powers to render

"where a cowboy-themed supervillain is using lightning powers to render"

Hamster & Gretel

personal electronic devices utterly useless.

"personal electronic devices utterly useless."

Hamster & Gretel

(TEARFULLY) I just want to know how many likes my sandwich got. Please.

"(TEARFULLY) I just want to know how many likes my sandwich got. Please."

Hamster & Gretel

Aw, now I can't anonymously criticize my friends.

"Aw, now I can't anonymously criticize my friends."

Hamster & Gretel

What's trending? For the love of Pete, what's trending?

"What's trending? For the love of Pete, what's trending?"

Hamster & Gretel

It's a new age, y'all!

"It's a new age, y'all!"

Hamster & Gretel

And by that I mean an old age, a bygone age.

"And by that I mean an old age, a bygone age."

Hamster & Gretel

This is Rodney Thunderpants, a lightning-themed supervillain,

"This is Rodney Thunderpants, a lightning-themed supervillain,"

Hamster & Gretel

for some reason in a cowboy costume.

"for some reason in a cowboy costume."

Hamster & Gretel

Why a supervillain

"Why a supervillain"

Hamster & Gretel

whose power is electricity would choose a costume theme from before electricity

"whose power is electricity would choose a costume theme from before electricity"

Hamster & Gretel

is a mystery

"is a mystery"

Hamster & Gretel

a lot of us are still trying to work through.

"a lot of us are still trying to work through."

Hamster & Gretel

Mr. Thunderpants, why are you doing this?

"Mr. Thunderpants, why are you doing this?"

Hamster & Gretel

Now, I don't care much for smartphones.

"Now, I don't care much for smartphones."

Hamster & Gretel

I prefer a time when phones were dumb,

"I prefer a time when phones were dumb,"

Hamster & Gretel

people were smart and horses were faithful.

"people were smart and horses were faithful."

Hamster & Gretel

Tell me about it. (HORSE WHINNIES)

"Tell me about it. (HORSE WHINNIES)"

Hamster & Gretel

Fascinating. But what exactly are the roots

"Fascinating. But what exactly are the roots"

Hamster & Gretel

of your deep-seated animosity towards progress?

"of your deep-seated animosity towards progress?"

Hamster & Gretel

Oh, tragic backstory time. (CLEARS THROAT)

"Oh, tragic backstory time. (CLEARS THROAT)"

Hamster & Gretel

Well, I was a regular singing cowboy living a simple life,

"Well, I was a regular singing cowboy living a simple life,"

Hamster & Gretel

watchin' the world change before my eyes

"watchin' the world change before my eyes"

Hamster & Gretel

with these devil boxes popping up everywhere.

"with these devil boxes popping up everywhere."

Hamster & Gretel

Just when I thought they couldn't intrude more into our lives,

"Just when I thought they couldn't intrude more into our lives,"

Hamster & Gretel

I came upon a new cell phone tower

"I came upon a new cell phone tower"

Hamster & Gretel

out there on the range while riding on my trusty horse, Delilah.

"out there on the range while riding on my trusty horse, Delilah."

Hamster & Gretel

A storm came in. The horse got spooked and the tower fell on me.

"A storm came in. The horse got spooked and the tower fell on me."

Hamster & Gretel

And then I got struck by lightning.

"And then I got struck by lightning."

Hamster & Gretel

I got struck by lightning three more times.

"I got struck by lightning three more times."

Hamster & Gretel

You got struck by lightning once and then three more times?

"You got struck by lightning once and then three more times?"

Hamster & Gretel

You mean you got struck by lightning four times in total?

"You mean you got struck by lightning four times in total?"

Hamster & Gretel

I'd rather mine coal than do math.

"I'd rather mine coal than do math."

Hamster & Gretel

Mr. Thunderpants, even supervillains need... Anyway,

"Mr. Thunderpants, even supervillains need... Anyway,"

Hamster & Gretel

when I regained consciousness, I had these lightning powers,

"when I regained consciousness, I had these lightning powers,"

Hamster & Gretel

and I had a score to settle with cell phones.

"and I had a score to settle with cell phones."

Hamster & Gretel

GRETEL: Rodney Thunderpants. At your service, ma'am.

"GRETEL: Rodney Thunderpants. At your service, ma'am."

Hamster & Gretel

So, you shoot lightning and your name is Rodney?

"So, you shoot lightning and your name is Rodney?"

Hamster & Gretel

And you didn't think to call yourself Lightning Rod?

"And you didn't think to call yourself Lightning Rod?"

Hamster & Gretel

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