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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - Evicted (S02E02)

"- room 204. - That sounds good."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, the thing about room 204"
Flight of the Conchords
"is that a terrible murder happened there..."
Flight of the Conchords
"a woman killed her husband."
Flight of the Conchords
"It was the most gruesome thing I ever heard of."
Flight of the Conchords
"What do you mean? What... what happened?"
Flight of the Conchords
"She decapitated him,"
Flight of the Conchords
"castrated him, defanged him."
Flight of the Conchords
"She removed his hands and feet."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Right. - I'll always remember the day"
Flight of the Conchords
"of that most horrible murder... the 1st of November."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Oh, that's today's date. - Weird."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, it's today's date. It happened earlier today."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Eh? - Shit."
Flight of the Conchords
"And the police psychologist said"
Flight of the Conchords
"she would return to the scene..."
Flight of the Conchords
"to kill again."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Hey, guys. - Oh! Shit."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Hey, Mel. - Where's Doug?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Oh, he's just there. - Hey, guys."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Oh! Shit. - Hey."
Flight of the Conchords
"I heard you don't have a place to stay."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah. - I would love it"
Flight of the Conchords
"if you'd stay with us."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, we're okay. We just got a room."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh."
Flight of the Conchords
"Thanks for the offer, though."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hmm."
Flight of the Conchords
"Actually, maybe that would be quite good."
Flight of the Conchords
"Thank you, Mel. Thank you, Doug."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Of course! - Eh?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, so another rule:"
Flight of the Conchords
"There will be no bringing girls back to the house."
Flight of the Conchords
"I know how you guys are."
Flight of the Conchords
"Actually, Mel, I don't see any reason"
Flight of the Conchords
"why they can't bring girls back here to visit if they want."
Flight of the Conchords
"Uh, do you want to bring some girls home too, Doug?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- No... - No, that's fine."
Flight of the Conchords
"...but I don't see any reason why they can't."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, maybe I'll bring some girls home too,"
Flight of the Conchords
"just find some real authentic sluts"
Flight of the Conchords
"and just turn this house into a whorehome."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Is that what you'd like, Doug? - No, It's not, but..."
Flight of the Conchords
"- We don't party. - I know, that's for Doug."
Flight of the Conchords
"Ahem. He struggled with addiction."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, number 8:"
Flight of the Conchords
"You must not leave the house."
Flight of the Conchords
"- When? - What, never?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, not after 11:30 P.M."
Flight of the Conchords
"Umm, I think that's..."
Flight of the Conchords
"so other than those rules, there are no rules."
Flight of the Conchords
"Now before we turn in, I would just love it"
Flight of the Conchords
"if you guys could play a song for me."
Flight of the Conchords
"and there's a risk of throat polyps."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Oh. - What are they?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Why don't I play a little something for all of us on the harp?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, Doug! No."
Flight of the Conchords
"That is such a womanly instrument."
Flight of the Conchords
"Have you ever heard of a man playing a harp?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- My dad plays the harp. - I've never heard..."
Flight of the Conchords
"There you go, Bret..."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Keep you... - It's very tight. I can't really move."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Okay, sweet dreams. - Thank you."
Flight of the Conchords
"- It's quite hot in here. - Yes, very hot."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Oh, the heater's broken. - But I saw you turning it..."
Flight of the Conchords
"You could always push these back a little bit."
Flight of the Conchords
"- That's okay. - Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, I am going to lock the door for security, so..."
Flight of the Conchords
"Would you be able to leave that open?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No, it's a very dangerous neighborhood."
Flight of the Conchords
"I sometimes go to the toilet in the middle of the night."
Flight of the Conchords
"Mm-hmm. I know."
Flight of the Conchords
"You guys are so cute."
Flight of the Conchords
"I could just eat you up."
Flight of the Conchords
"Good night."
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ Petrov, Yelyena and me ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ Lost but happy at sea ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ Petrov and Yelyena said to me... ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"Shouldn't we have something to eat?"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ I say there are plenty of fish in the sea ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ But all they can see is me ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"- # They said... # - Any last requests?"
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"♪ Biding my time, I said, "Yes ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ I want to party, just we three ♪"
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"♪ So we drank all night from the keg ♪"
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"♪ I passed out and I woke with one leg, I said... ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
""Petrov, have you seen my leg?" #He said... #"
Flight of the Conchords
"- No. - # And he went back to bed #"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ But he looked suspiciously well-fed ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ Three days later, they're hungry again ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"- # They said... # - Any last requests, my friend, again?"
Flight of the Conchords
"So I said, "Do you know any Rolling Stones?""
Flight of the Conchords
"It was a hilarious moment in a very bleak bleak time of my life."
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ So we danced all night to the Rolling Stones ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ When I awoke, they were chewing on bones ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"That's when I knew that something was up."
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"It's fish."
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"How come it looks so much like my arm"
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"which has been hacked off at the elbow last night?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, it's an arm fish."
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ Later that night, while they were asleep ♪"
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"♪ I swallowed some arsenic to poison my meat ♪"
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"♪ I was very ill, but revenge is so sweet ♪"
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"♪ Unlike the last meal my comrades would eat ♪"
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"♪ No, not dead, just a head ♪"
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"♪ Lost but so lonely ♪"
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"♪ At sea. ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, now in this scene"
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"you're back in New Zealand, you're on your farm,"
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"you're frustrated with your uncle and auntie"
Flight of the Conchords
"because they won't let you go into town to play your music."
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"Ready? Go."
Flight of the Conchords
"We need you back on the farm, Bret,"
Flight of the Conchords
"- just for one more season. - But that's a whole another year away."
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"Listen to your uncle, Bret!"
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"Murray, who's she?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Don't look at me. I'm not here, Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"You're in your world, okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
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