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Clips from The Odd Couple (1970) - What Does a Naked Lady Say to You? (S01E01)

"Listen, you heard of those off-Broadway plays"
The Odd Couple (1970)
"where nobody wears any clothes?"
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"She's in one of those?"
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"She's the lead in one of those."
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"I don't believe that."
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"Me neither."
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"Hey, what's the name of the play?"
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"Bathtub."
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"Well, that don't sound so dirty to me."
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"I've heard of that play."
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"It's not a dirty play."
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"One reviewer said"
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"that it was a stunning reappraisal of social values."
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"Looked more like a naked reappraisal of social values."
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"Are you trying to tell me that sweet librarian"
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"is the lead in a nude off-Broadway show?"
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"Oscar, we raid the place every week."
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"Yeah, but Murray, it's a very moral play."
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"I understand that they have this huge bathtub"
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"that symbolizes the world"
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"and then the actors symbolize humanity"
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"cleansing themselves."
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"Nude?"
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"You can't take a bath with your clothes on."
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"You're crazy."
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"It just doesn't fit."
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"I never forget a face."
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"In a play like that, who looks at a face?"
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"Well... oh, Vinnie, where's my money?"
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"Oh."
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"We have to go, fellas."
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"Feel free. We don't want to keep you."
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"We don't want to rush you either."
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"We don't want to keep you and we don't want to rush you."
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"It was nice to meet you all."
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"Have a good game."
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"Thanks a lot, Felix."
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"With what you left us,"
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"we might just as well play strip poker."
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"Hi."
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"What are you doing up so early?"
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"Don't sit there. You know better than that."
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"I couldn't sleep."
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"Had your breakfast?"
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"No, I'm not hungry."
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"I'm just gonna nibble."
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"Have a good time last night?"
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"Fantastic."
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"I always have a good time with Madelyn."
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"You really like her, huh?"
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"She's the greatest girl I've ever met."
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"Wow, that's a pretty big statement"
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"for a girl you don't know very long."
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"How long does it take?"
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"I've dated enough girls to know when it's right."
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"It's right."
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"She's done the impossible."
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"What's that?"
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"Made me stop thinking about Gloria."
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"Has it ever occurred to you to use a napkin?"
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"Hold that over the sink."
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"I hope you're not rushing in to anything."
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"You know, I dated my ex-wife for six years."
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"Still turned out that I was rushing."
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"How can you eat a pickle, chocolate cookies"
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"and beer for breakfast?"
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"Are you kidding?"
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"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
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"Besides, I want to talk about Madelyn."
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"I thought you liked her."
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"I do, I do, but I'm a reporter"
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"and I'm curious."
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"She has no sisters or eligible girlfriends,"
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"so if you think you're going to horn in on that..."
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"That's not what I was thinking."
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"For instance, like, what does she do"
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"when she's not with you for instance?"
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"She does the laundry."
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"She cleans her apartment, she works at the library."
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"She depends on me for excitement."
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"Oh, do you use her library?"
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"I mean, do you ever see her at work?"
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"Nah, the branch is too far away."
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"Where is it?"
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"I don't know, somewhere off Broadway she said."
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"Pardon me, please."
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"Excuse me."
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"Excuse me, sir."
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"Vinnie."
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"Oscar."
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"Hey, Vinnie, Oscar."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"Same thing you're doing here."
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"I'm here because my best friend's girl"
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"may not be on the level."
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"Well, that's part of the reason I'm here."
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"Let's face it, Oscar,"
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"we're all dying of curiosity."
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"Hey, don't I know you"
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"from the peekaboo movie houses?"
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"Your name's Mel, right?"
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"You got the wrong guy."
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"Turn around, will you?"
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"I want to just make sure it's Madelyn."
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"Well, even if it isn't,"
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"we're still in for a great evening at the theater."
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"Watching your best friend's girl take a bath"
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"is great theater?"
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"You said it, buddy."
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"It's aesthetic."
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"You going to turn around, Mel?"
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"What are you going to do?"
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"You have to give this new theater a chance"
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"before you condemn it."
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"Besides, this sort of thing is making a lot of money."
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"It's got to."
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"They don't spend a dime on wardrobe."
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"See? There's nothing wrong with that."
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"Look, I think that the actors are holding hands"
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"to symbolize the brotherhood of man."
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