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Clips from The Office - Health Care (S01E01)

"Pam! Pamela,"
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"Pamelamela Ding Dong! Making copies."
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"- I'm not making any copies. - Let's go!"
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"Messages, date, lots to do lots to do..."
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"Information superhighway!"
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"- Nothing new... - Let them unw..."
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"- There's nothing new. - That's not what you said earlier."
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"Oh do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before?"
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"For the..."
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"The most sacred thing I do is care, and provide for my workers, my family."
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"I give them money."
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"I give them food."
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"Not directly, but through the money..."
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"I heal them."
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"Today I am in charge, of picking a great new healthcare plan."
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"Right? That's what this is all about!"
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"Does that make me their doctor?"
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"Yes... In a way..."
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"Yeah, like a specialist."
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"So which health plan have you decided on?"
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"I am going to go with best, Jan."
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"I am going to go with the one with"
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"the acupuncture, therapeutic massage..."
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"- You know, the works... - Wait acupuncture?"
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"None of the plans have acupuncture."
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"Have you looked at them closely Michael?"
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"I think it was you who didn't look closely enough at the "gold plan"."
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"- The gold plan? - Yep."
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"I'm not even on that plan."
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"Well I recommend it, it's very good."
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"- You have to crack this things open. - You know the whole reason we're doing"
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"this, is to save money."
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"So,"
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"you just need to pick a provider, and then choose the cheapest plan."
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"Well that is..."
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"kind of a tough assignment."
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"- It's not gonna be a popular decision around the old orifice. - It's your job... so"
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"It's a suicide mission, you know..."
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"- Michael, - I, I Know"
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"- Maybe, I, I mean... - There... there"
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"You know sometimes a manager..."
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"like yourself,"
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"has to deliver the bad news to the employees, I do it all the time."
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"- Yeah, when have you ever done that? - I'm doing it, right now."
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"To you."
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"Last night on "Trading spouses"..."
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"- There's... have you seen it? - No, I have a life."
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"- Interesting, what's that like? - You should try it sometime."
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"Wow"
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"- But then who would watch my TV?"
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"So I like that"
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"Ding Dong!"
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"There's a decision that needs to be made."
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"And I'm having a unbelievably busy day."
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"So, I'm going to let you pick"
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"a healthcare plan for our office,"
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"and then explain it"
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"to your co-workers."
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"- Gosh! - Yeah!"
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"That is a great offer. Thank you."
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"I really think I should be concentrating on sales."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"I just don't thing that this is the kind of task, that"
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"I am going to do..."
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"You know who would be great for this?"
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"Anytime Michael asks me to do anything I just tell me that Dwight should do it."
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"Yes! I can do it! I'm your man."
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"Right now this is just a job."
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"If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career."
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"And a..."
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"Well if this were my career,"
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"I'd have to throw myself in front of a train."
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"Ok first, let's go over some parameters,"
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"how many people can I fire?"
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"None, you're picking a healthcare plan."
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"Ok we'll table that for the time being. Two, I'm gonna need an office."
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"I think the conference room should be fine."
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"You can use the conference room as a temporary workspace."
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"Yes, I have an office."
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"- Bigger than his! - No, you cannot use it."
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"- Ok I take it back it's a workspace. - Temporary workspace, you can use it."
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"Thank you."
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"If Dwight fails and that is strike too and good for me,"
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"for giving him a second chance."
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"And if he succeeds, then, you know,"
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"no one would be prouder than I am. I've groomed him."
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"I made him what he is today."
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"Unless he fails and,"
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"talked about that already."
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"What did I do? I did my job."
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"I slashed benefits to the bone. I saved this company money."
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"Was I too harsh? Maybe. I don't believe in coddling people."
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"In the wild, there is no healthcare."
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"In the wild healthcare is "How, I hurt my leg..."
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"I can't run, a lion eats me, and I'm dead. ""
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"Well, I'm not dead."
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"I'm the lion."
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"You're dead!"
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"There's no dental, there's no vision,"
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"there is a 1200 dollars deductible."
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"Dundler Mifflin this is Pam."
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"Pam, Michael Scott, how's tricks?"
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"Where are you?"
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"Oh, I'm in my office, I am swamped."
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"I have work up to my ears"
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"and busy busy busy, can't step away, I just wanted to check in and"
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"see how everybody's dealing. Everybody cool out there?"
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"Actually, people are really unhappy"
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"Dwight send around this memo"
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"- And people are freaking out cause... - Pam, you, I'm sorry I'm sorry"
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"I, I, I got to go I'm getting a call."
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"No you're not."
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"I have to make a call after I finish, my work"
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"You know what? Don't let anybody in my office"
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"Under any conditions today I'm just too busy, too swamped, you know?"
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"I'm unreachable. I'm incommunicado capisce?"
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"- Ok - Thank you,"
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"God here we go again, got to go, I have to take this."
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"Still no one calling."
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"- Dwight, what is this... - Uh, knock, please."
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