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Clips from The Distinguished Gentleman

"It's called "the grandfather loophole.""
The Distinguished Gentleman
"All right, Jeff. I got it. Come here."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"There's this small software company that's about to go through the roof."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Now, what you do, you buy a few thousand dollars worth of stock options."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It's gonna bring in a half a million dollars easy. That's just for openers."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Huh?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"If you put it like that, I suppose I..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"have a duty to continue my career in public service."
The Distinguished Gentleman
""Duty"! [Chuckles] You're something else, Jeff."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I am definitely in the wrong business."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Som-bitch! - Well?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Som-bitch! - Yes!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Laughing Together] - [Swedish Accent] I love it!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Grunting, Groaning]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Woman Sighing] - [Johnson] Ohh! Oh, Kimberly!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Kimberly] Oh, Congressman!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Johnson] Oh, Kimberly, you're so good! Yeah!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh! Oh God! Oh, Oh! Oh, I got a cramp!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I got a cramp. It's okay, don't stop. Don't stop!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh! Yeah, yeah! Oh, God, yes, yes!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Kimberly! Yeah! - Oh, Congressman!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Oh, now, now! Yeah! Oh! Oh, my God! - Oh, Congressman!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, my God! Oh, my... [Gagging]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Kimberly Panting]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Panting]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, my God!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"## [Funeral Organ]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Dick Dodge] It was my honor..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"to serve with Jeff Johnson in Congress for a generation."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"No one was a better legislator, a better husband."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"We're gonna miss him. But we are grateful that his passing was peaceful."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"The consummate public servant,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"working late into the night at his desk."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Thank you. - [Dodge] Vera?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Let me talk to you for a minute in here. - Excuse me."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Uh, now..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I know that, uh, you're still in shock over Jeff's passing,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- But we need to talk about his seat. - We do?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I would like for you to announce that you're gonna run for Congress."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"With your name, you can't lose."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Mrs. Jeff Johnson would win in a walk."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Dick, I've been a Washington wife for 20 years."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I think that's enough bullshit for one lifetime."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'd help. I'd be running the office night and day."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm sure you would, dear. But I couldn't give you..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"the same kind of job satisfaction Jeff gave you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Uh-huh."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"How did I end up with a thief for a grandson?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Hey! Aha! Hey, thieves steal."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I con, all right? It's different. I'm an artist."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm a con artist."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Hey, look! There's the new ad. - Hey."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Loretta As Inga] I am Inga. I am here from Sweden."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"And I'm so lonely."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I need a man, and so do my girlfriends."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Maria, my hot-blooded Spanish friend."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Babette, zee Parisian pussycat... - [Meows]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- And many others. - I hope you sprain your lips from doin' this."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- I hope your lip muscles freeze up. - We take all major credit cards."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Loretta As Inga] So call the Girls of Many Nations at..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Swedish Accent] What do you think of my accent, Grandma?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Very, very good. Hey, hey. - [Telephone Ringing]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Thank you for calling "Girls of Many Nations" party line."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"For hot-blooded Italian wildcats, press one now."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"For perky American cheerleaders, press two now."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"For a busty Swedish love goddess, press three now."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Single Tone] - Another customer for Inga."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Don't you dare talk to that man!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Swedish Accent] Hello, this is Inga."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, hello, Paul. How are you?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh! [Giggles] Tell me, Paul, do you have Mastercard?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"If you don't hang up that phone, I will flush it down the toilet!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Uh, no, Paul. Call me later, please."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"What's the matter with you? This is my business."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You are not only a con man, you get your cousin Loretta..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- To help you by talkin' dirty? Shame on you! - Granny!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You mad 'cause you can't show my picture around the pool no more, Grandma?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Of course not."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Look what these arthritic hands have been doin'."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Oh... - Don't "oh." What are you "oh-ing"?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Thomas Jefferson Johnson. Why you keep usin' my middle name?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It sound like a tap dancer or somethin'."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Make me proud of you, Thomas. Make me proud of the name you carry."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm Ned Grable, Vice President and General Manager of WFL."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"We think Mrs. Jeff Johnson did the right thing..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"in not running for the congressional seat left vacant by her husband's death."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Jeff Johnson's name may still be magic,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"but it'll take more than the magic of name recognition..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"to solve our region's problems."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm Ned Grable."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Name recognition."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Lordy, what a notion."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"People would have to be some kind of boobs..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"just to vote for somebody because their name was Johnson."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I remember once back in Georgia. They even elected a dead man."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"His name was still on the ballot and..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"folks were just used to voting for him."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Loretta] Okay. Bye-bye."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"My friends, I wanna tell y'all about a town..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"where the streets are paved with gold."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm talkin' about a town where the marks will take you to dinner after you fuck 'em."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm talkin' about a place that, when they run outta money, they just print some more."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"In this town, a cat bounced 900 checks, didn't even have to go to jail."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- You mean "Las Begas." - No, not "Las Begas.""
The Distinguished Gentleman
"No, honey, he's talkin' about Washington, D.C."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"l... You all ready for this?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I am running for Congress."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- What is this, a joke? - What's the con, T?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Yeah, I don't get it, man."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Yo, man, Van Dyke. - Yeah."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- You remember Willie Sutton? - My hero."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"What did Willie Sutton say when they asked him how come he robbed banks?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- That's where the money is. - Exactly."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Washington, D.C. That's where the money is."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Listen, I have been doin' some research. I've been to the library."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Laughing] - Why you laughing? Congressmen, when they get elected,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"they get $130,000 a year. That's their base salary."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"But then they have these things called "PACs." Okay, political action committees, right?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Then there's these lobbyists. The lobbyists' whole point in life is to buy you off."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"They buy you off and it's totally legal."
The Distinguished Gentleman
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