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Clips from The Distinguished Gentleman

"My God, Inga, that was on the phone."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I never thought you'd be in my house. You've got to get outta here."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Swedish Accent] But you told me you wanted me! You told me to quit my job."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Normal Voice] And now, honey, here I am."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Not now, waiter. Please! - Don't worry about a thing. I'll handle this. You!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Bag on the floor, hands in the air. Do it!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Sergeant Brown, vice squad, undercover operations."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- I know who you are, dirty pig! - Shut up! You're under arrest."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- My God, what's goin' on here? - Sir, you've been the target of a ruthless gang of con artists."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It all started when you called the "Girls of Many Nations" party line."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It's 1-900-phone-sex?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You put it on your credit card instead of your phone bill..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"'cause you didn't want your wife to see it, right? Big mistake."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"The gang used your credit card number to find out everything they could about you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It's the gang's M.O. to wait until the victim's having a big party..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"and will do anything, pay big money, to avoid embarrassment."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Embarrassment? Som-bitch!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"This goes beyond embarrassment!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"A hundred of my very best friends paid a thousand dollars apiece..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"to have a drink with Congressman Johnson."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Not to mention the fact my wife is probably looking for me right now."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"That is exactly what their evil scheme is depending on."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"In fact, any second now, a huge Latino man's..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Gonna burst in pretending he's an outraged husband. - Inga!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- What're you doin' with my wife? - Senor..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Bridges] It's okay, Alice. - My friend, rum and coke."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Don't let anyone else in, please. Thanks."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Armando] Did he touch you? - I got your rum and coke."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"There's your rum and coke, and she can drink it with you!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct] - Hey, i callate la boca."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I callate la boca ahora! I ahora asi!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Now you see how they were gonna plan to con you outta your money."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"But I know better, 'cause I know you're a courageous citizen."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- And I know you're gonna testify. Yes, you're gonna testify. - Oh!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- I can't testify. - Sure you can. All you've done was phone sex."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- A lot of people have done that. - He wanted me to tie him up..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"and spank him with a wet garter belt."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Chuckling] No, no, not me. No, no. - [Thomas] Excuse me."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"That is between the fantasy hostess and the freak. I don't even wanna hear it."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- "Freak"? - Hey, poppy."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I got a tape in the car. Eight-track or cassette. You wanna hear it?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- No, no! No, no! Thank you very much. - Sir, please."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"They're trying to intimidate you by telling you that they have an audio tape of you freaking on..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Did you think you were gonna intimidate him? You're not intimidating him."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"He's going to testify, because his family may not know he's a freak,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"but he's been married 20, 30 years. His wife knows he's a freak."
The Distinguished Gentleman
""Freak"? Uh, Sergeant Brown, I have to talk to you in private, please."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Mr. Bridges, I can't leave the suspects by themselves."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Well, let's, uh, lock 'em in the crapper."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Okay, come on. Move in the bathroom."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Come on, man, move it. Come on! - [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Hey, hey! Vamonos, muchachos, goddamn it!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Now you've all met my legislative assistant, Kimberly."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Kimberly and my fine staff, along with myself,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"will be available to you 24 hours a day."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm proud to be your man in Washington."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I plan to keep goin' back as long as you keep sendin' me."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Cheering]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Please listen, Sergeant."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- I'm the chairman of a large, conservative insurance company. - I know that."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I know your chief, Sergeant Brown. Help me and you'll be Lieutenant Brown."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Just get these people the hell outta here quietly."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Mr. Bridges, I know these people. Okay?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"If you let them go, they're just gonna blackmail you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I don't care. What do they want?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Goin' by their other victims, it costs like $5,000. - Okay."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"That's 5,000 each, you know."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Okay."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You know there's four people in the gang."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Twenty thousand dollars? - See, that's what I'm tellin' you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- I think you should testify. - No, I can't."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Please put your money away, sir. - Look, it's..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It's just that I don't have that much cash. I've only got $12,000."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- And there's four people in the gang. - Wait a minute."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- My rolex. - Oh, Mr. Bridges, no. No, no, no. Please, sir."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"No, it's worth $10,000."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, Mr. Bridges, I don't wanna take your watch, I don't wanna take your money."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Besides, they don't want a watch. They want cash. - Take the damn money!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Take the watch, please! Get them outta here and get that tape."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You know this goes against my every principle."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Darlin', don't you look wonderful."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Glad to see ya. Nice to... Hey, how's that knee, huh?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Speaking Spanish, Indistinct] - Hey, hey, hey, hey! [Spanish, Indistinct]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Inga will miss you! Bye-bye."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"What are you doin'? I gotta go get the tape."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I don't want you to give them the money until I get the tape in my hand."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Come with me."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Chief!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"By golly, am I glad to see you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm sorry I'm late. I had an emergency."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You know Sergeant..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Bridges] Where'd he go?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Sergeant Brown, the vice squad."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"We don't have a vice squad."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You don't have a... Som-bitch!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, waiter, where's my bourbon sour?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, you must think I'm Kareem. I'm Jamal."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"He stiff you on your drinks too? He fired."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Kareem! Wait right there. Kareem, where's this woman's drink? This woman's thirsty!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Man] I've always enjoyed the time we've spent together. - [Woman] Oh, thank you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Man] Why don't we sit down over here?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Guests Laughing]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Olaf, I'm thinking of retiring from Congress."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You can't retire. You just promised all these people you're gonna run again."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"That was a political promise. You know better than to believe that."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Andersen] Zeke, come here. Listen to this."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Have you all seen a waiter come through here?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"No, I haven't, but, Zeke, I need your help. Hey!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- What's got into Zeke? - Damned if I know."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Listen, Jeff, you know you got the best job in the world, don't you?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You get to go hunting, fishing, skiing and golfing."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"The best resorts. Then you get to call it, "official business," huh?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"And, Jeff, you know there's no aphrodisiac like power."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Are you tired of having the most beautiful and intelligent women in this country?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Ah, the joy's gone out of Congress, Olaf."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"No, that perks thing was the last straw."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"And who needs the aggravation? Life's too short."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Yeah, well, look, Jeff. You can't retire."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"If I retire this year, I get to keep $1.3 million..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"that's left in my campaign fund."
The Distinguished Gentleman
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