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Clips from The Distinguished Gentleman

"Look, sit down. We haven't discussed child safety yet."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Ira, sit. I'm gonna slap you. Sit. Come on, down. Sit down!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Let's finish talking. Let's talk about child safety now."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"This is an important issue. Child safety."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Well, we are sponsoring a bill imposing safety standards on imported toys."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Great. I hate imported toys. Hate 'em."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I wish they didn't exist. Especially those little baseball men..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"with the springs in their neck that do this. What is that? Fuck that, right?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Fuck that. - [Thomas] Yeah, I hate that."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Why don't we do this? Like I said, put the package together."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"We'll block aside a couple of Saturday evenings and we can discuss it..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- And you can take me through all the ins and outs. - "Ins and outs"?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'd like to do more money for you,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"but first I've got to get your positions on a few issues."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Now where are you on sugar price supports?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Sugar price supports. - Hmm?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Where should I be, Terry? - Shit, it makes no difference to me."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"If you're for 'em, I got money for you from my sugar producers in Louisiana and Hawaii."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"If you're against 'em, I got money for you from the candy manufacturers."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- You pick. - Let's say... for."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Yeah, for. For."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"How about putting limits on malpractice awards?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, you tell me."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"If you're for 'em, I got money from the doctors and insurance companies."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"If you're against 'em, I got money from the trial lawyers."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Let's put you down as against. - Yeah, you know what? Put me down for against."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"How about pizza?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, no, this salad is gonna be enough for me."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Not for lunch, old buddy. For PAC money."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You thought I was serious? I was fuckin' with you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Well, you are. You are! - Fuckin' with you. Uh, duh!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Terry, tell me something."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"With all this money comin' in from both sides,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"how could anything possibly ever get done?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It doesn't. That's the genius of the system."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Thomas, Terry Laugh]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Hey, baby, put down nuclear power for ten G's."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Mambo!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Loretta] Cool! Yeah, the congressman's gonna be out your way next week."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Mr. Willie? Congressman Johnson calling. Can you take his call?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Thank you. Please hold."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"A-one, a-two..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Yes, Mr. Brown. Uh-huh, on the 30th."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"We were wondering whether you aerospace people..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"might want to lay on a luncheon so that you can hear his views."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'm sorry, Mr. Willie. He just picked up another call."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I know why he was calling you. He hasn't heard from you about his fund-raiser."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"A thousand dollars a head? A whole table!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Lovely. Yeah."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Well, now, what kind of a contribution to his foundation were you folks thinking about?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Now, we'll have a little huntin' in the morning,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"little fishin' in the afternoon,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"clean air, beautiful scenery."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"All to work up a good appetite, 'cause we got a fine French chef..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"back at the lodge flown in special."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh! That's very, very nice."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- You don't want anything from us? - We would enjoy the opportunity..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"to share our views."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You see, we feel that the semiautomatic weapon's gotten a bad rap."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Now, the gun control nuts try to make out that they're for drug dealers only."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"But, uh, really, they're just guns for the ordinary sportsman."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Chuckling] Nothin' like a nice, warm Uzi."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Duck Call Quacking]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Duck Call Continues]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"[Quacking]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Yee-hee!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Must have had a heart attack."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Aaah!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"And according to the 1988 study, it showed eight per 100,000."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Am I losing you on these mortality rates, Congressman? - No, not at all."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I was, uh, I was just wondering how much of this is a statutory problem,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- And how much of it is a regulatory one. - Mmm, mm-hmm."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Didn't the Merton Act cover most of this? - Excellent point."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Excellent point. Let me check something out."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Excuse me."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You're absolutely right."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Maybe we could get them to amend Merton."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh, get 'em to amend it."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Yes!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Get 'em to amend it, huh? Well, "For Merton to apply,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"you have to show high contagion."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It sounds to me like your contagion... rates..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"are no higher than the common clod.""
The Distinguished Gentleman
""Cold." "Common cold.""
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Excuse me a second. Arthur!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Ow! - What were we talking about?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"How'd you wind up hustling for pro bono instead of pesticides anyway?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- 'Cause you could have been a big-time lawyer. - I was for a while."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- But it depressed me. - What could be depressing about makin' $100,000 a year?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- I know you gotta get sick of losin' all the time. - Of course I do."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Mainly it makes me angry, and the anger keeps me going."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Of course I'd like to win a few and I'm not allergic to money either."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- So why are you doin' it? - Hey."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"It's so embarrassing to come right out and say why I do it."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Why? - It's embarrassing for me to say."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- I just feel... - Stop! What?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Meaning!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"My life has to mean something."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"So now I have a question for you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I'd like to know how you got named after a memorial."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Oh. [Chuckling]"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"My grandmother liked Jefferson. You know, "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.""
The Distinguished Gentleman
"You know, old black folks' thing."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"There's a lot to live up to, so I kinda specialize in one portion of that."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"That's the pursuit of happiness."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- And how's it going? - Um."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Honestly? - Mm-hmm."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"I was goin' real good 'til I met you."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Now, the better I do, the worse I feel."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Isn't that strange?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"Mmm, when can I see you again? Let's go to dinner Saturday night."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- How about Sunday morning? - Oh, oh, brunch?"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"The wages of sin is death!"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"And to the man who values gold over goodness,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"the Lord allows no exemptions."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- [Congregation] Amen. - Amen."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"And to the man who shows no respect..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"for the privilege of walking this Earth,"
The Distinguished Gentleman
"the Lord allows no deductions."
The Distinguished Gentleman
"- Amen. - And to the man whose pockets are bulging..."
The Distinguished Gentleman
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