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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- The Leftovers (S10E10)

"[chuckles] Does she?"
Archer
"[vocalizing to "Marines' Hymn"]"
Archer
"Anyhoo, just hang tight."
Archer
"Krieger might have something soon."
Archer
"And for God's sake, show some restraint."
Archer
"-[intercom squeaks] -[off-key piano playing]"
Archer
"I must be pretty hungry. Now I'm hearing things."
Archer
"-Uh, that's not imaginary. -Good."
Archer
"'Cause I was about to kick my imagination's ass"
Archer
"for having terrible taste. What is that?"
Archer
"Sounds like a piano double-crossed the yakuza."
Archer
"[piano continuing]"
Archer
"RAY: ♪ Struck oil from the start♪"
Archer
"♪ But the real land you stole was in my...♪"
Archer
"Please don't say "heart.""
Archer
"Start-heart is the lyrical equivalent of light beige."
Archer
"What is all this here, then?"
Archer
"Hey, remember when you said I was useless?"
Archer
"Honestly, no, but it does sound like me."
Archer
""All this here then""
Archer
"is me finally finding my true purpose in life."
Archer
"Didn't you come out, like, years ago?"
Archer
"[scoffs] Yeah, there's more to me"
Archer
"-than my sexuality. -Eh."
Archer
"For example, my love of musical theater."
Archer
"And that's distinct from..."
Archer
"[creature growls]"
Archer
"I'm writing what I always dreamed of:"
Archer
"A rock musical about the Teapot Dome Scandal."
Archer
"That is the worst idea..."
Archer
"Let me finish!"
Archer
"With some hip-hop elements."
Archer
"I stand corrected."
Archer
"Please tell me it's not called "Off the Dome.""
Archer
"Why? Do you not like that?"
Archer
"Well, I'm proud of you for pursuing your dream."
Archer
"Thank you very much."
Archer
"But you sure seem to have a lot of energy"
Archer
"for a starving person."
Archer
"-Come on, where's your stash? -Be more specific."
Archer
"This room is basically nothing but contraband."
Archer
"-Your food stash. -I don't have any."
Archer
"I'm just filled with a glowing sense of purpose."
Archer
"Now, if you'll leave me to my art,"
Archer
"I have to find a rhyme with Mineral Leasing Act."
Archer
"The Crédit Mobilier scandal would be much more compelling."
Archer
"-You take that back. -Oh, come on. Union Pacific Railroad--"
Archer
"one of the central guys was named George Train."
Archer
"That writes itself."
Archer
"Nothing writes itself."
Archer
"[sighs] Don't listen to them."
Archer
"Nothing but great calls, baby Ray."
Archer
"God, these eggs are dynamite."
Archer
"KRIEGER: Neurological dynamite, that is."
Archer
"-Loaded with neurotransmitters. -So what do they do?"
Archer
"The human brain is fiendishly complex."
Archer
"It's all neurons and electricity and mushy parts."
Archer
"-So you don't know? -We'd have to scan someone"
Archer
"while they ate one for the first time."
Archer
"But that could cause anything."
Archer
"Define "anything.""
Archer
"Hmm. Insanity, memory loss, death,"
Archer
"or a sexual syndrome called brainaphilia"
Archer
"that I just now invented."
Archer
"So testing on a live subject"
Archer
"would be totally unethical."
Archer
"Let's use Cheryl."
Archer
"Wait, were we considering anything else?"
Archer
"So, hitting the sauce pretty hard?"
Archer
"It's not sauce."
Archer
"I didn't think it was literally..."
Archer
"It's marinade."
Archer
"And that's how that conversation ended."
Archer
"Hey, the map thingy says that we're flying toward"
Archer
"-the Fang Nebula. -So it does."
Archer
"Well, aren't there, like, six overlapping wars"
Archer
"going on there right now?"
Archer
"Why do people rob banks, Cheryl?"
Archer
"If I'm remembering this right,"
Archer
"it's because the action is the juice?"
Archer
"Because that's where the money is,"
Archer
"and if we're looking for salvage,"
Archer
"you fly into the teeth of chaos"
Archer
"and howl at the shadow of death itself."
Archer
"So say we all."
Archer
"CYRIL: Greetings, Rat Racers."
Archer
"How does it feel to follow orders like robots,"
Archer
"pawns in your own lives?"
Archer
"Cyril, what are you doing?"
Archer
"Other than mixing metaphors"
Archer
"into some kind of smoothie-like paste."
Archer
"As little as possible, muchacha."
Archer
"Why aren't you scanning?"
Archer
"Oh, my gosh, you're right. Hold on."
Archer
"[imitates whirring noise]"
Archer
"Yep, all clear."
Archer
"We're in deep space. Nothing's ever on the scanner."
Archer
"It's all a scam to keep you busy"
Archer
"while they rob you of your freedom."
Archer
"Freedom to what, become a human Jimmy Buffet B-side?"
Archer
"You mean awesome and underrated?"
Archer
"No. Stop twisting my words. Lana, he's twisting my words."
Archer
"Can we just get to the point? Cyril, did you find food?"
Archer
"You bet I did."
Archer
"Mmm, mmm."
Archer
"I came here to do two things:"
Archer
"eat eggs and nothing."
Archer
"And I'm not out of either."
Archer
"Now get out."
Archer
"What is going on?"
Archer
"I know. Why am I in the hallway?"
Archer
"No. That's not what I was..."
Archer
"Wait, did I just do what he said?"
Archer
"Oh, no. He's the alpha."
Archer
"He cares less than I do."
Archer
"I-I don't want to live in a world where Cyril's cool."
Archer
"So, you're not worried that our crew"
Archer
"seems to be going insane and/or starving?"
Archer
"Listen to me, I'm talking about something important."
Archer
"My intrinsic dominance over other males."
Archer
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