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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- The Leftovers (S10E10)

"Shut. Shut your mouth."
Archer
"I will not let you ruin this for me,"
Archer
"like you have so many other times."
Archer
"[exhales]"
Archer
"I. Am. Ready."
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"-Ya done? -What?"
Archer
"I don't know how to do the volume on this thing."
Archer
"I said, "ya done?""
Archer
"-Oh, got it. -[music stops]"
Archer
"I think so. There's nothing left,"
Archer
"and also I can barely move."
Archer
"And that's gonna help you catch this thing how?"
Archer
"All of this, Lana, is totally necessary."
Archer
"[groans]"
Archer
"[clang]"
Archer
"[groans]"
Archer
"[clang]"
Archer
"Actually, let's see where it is."
Archer
"I only have another seven, eight steps in me."
Archer
"[beeping]"
Archer
"Huh. This says it's within two meters."
Archer
"Which would only make sense if..."
Archer
"Oh, screw you, two-dimensional display."
Archer
"[growling]"
Archer
"-Aah! -[snarling]"
Archer
"-[Archer laughing] -[squeaking]"
Archer
"Hey! Hey!"
Archer
"Lana, it's friendly."
Archer
"Also laying gross eggs. Pretty much constantly."
Archer
"And the cloaca blooms."
Archer
"MALORY: And what does that mean,"
Archer
"other than that you now have a sideline"
Archer
"in Georgia O'Keefe sculptures?"
Archer
"The eggs contain self-healing DNA."
Archer
"If I can isolate it,"
Archer
"I might unlock the secret of regeneration."
Archer
"[laughs] And they called me mad."
Archer
"-Who did? -Huh?"
Archer
"Oh, I guess I just assumed."
Archer
"Safe bet."
Archer
"So, do you want the bad news?"
Archer
"-Or the what? -Uh, there is no other news."
Archer
"Then why did you ask?"
Archer
"Rhetorical effect?"
Archer
"Well, it stopped us in our tracks, Cicero,"
Archer
"so mark it as ineffective."
Archer
"Look, we don't have enough food to make it"
Archer
"to the nearest spaceport."
Archer
"Even if we carefully rationed out the scraps here,"
Archer
"we still wouldn't have..."
Archer
"[chuckles] He... He's incorrigible."
Archer
"-Damn it, Archer. -What?"
Archer
"He said there wasn't enough food to make it to spaceport."
Archer
"Nothing's changed. So I accept your apology."
Archer
"Ooh! It's starting. We'll tear ourselves apart"
Archer
"with suspicion and doubt and then eat each other!"
Archer
"I call first dibs."
Archer
"-To eat or be eaten? -Whatever. I'm not picky."
Archer
"Better sharpen those chompers."
Archer
"I am so confused by your tone."
Archer
"[sultry]: Me too."
Archer
"-It may not come to that. -[groans]"
Archer
"Using the egg, I may have found a way"
Archer
"to regenerate our cells as we starve."
Archer
"It won't be pleasant..."
Archer
"-But? -No, I was done."
Archer
"Let me guess-- there's a chance"
Archer
"it'll turn us into space goo?"
Archer
"No. Well, yes. Actually, it's pretty likely."
Archer
"How'd you know that?"
Archer
"Because it's always space goo with you."
Archer
"-Well, not justthat. -We should eat the eggs."
Archer
"Oh, these hook-covered, evil-smelling"
Archer
"pus sacks that just happen"
Archer
"to be the property of my new best friend?"
Archer
"But they make you feel amazing!"
Archer
"-[all exclaim, groan] -Oh, God. -But you didn't even"
Archer
"know we were out of food."
Archer
"So when did you start eating those?"
Archer
"Pretty much immediately."
Archer
"[whimpers]"
Archer
"ARCHER: So, not to start this off on the wrong foot,"
Archer
"but I'm thinking of eating your feet."
Archer
"When I said we had to consider our options,"
Archer
"-this is not what I meant. -Well, I didn't hear"
Archer
"anyone else suggesting anything."
Archer
"Because you told me to shut up."
Archer
"And here you are, talking."
Archer
"I meant something that leaves us"
Archer
"with the right number of feet."
Archer
"Lana, it's offensive to call it "the right number of feet""
Archer
"when those lacking limbsare valuable members of society."
Archer
"Hey, yeah."
Archer
"It's also why you should let me eat your feet."
Archer
"This seems productive."
Archer
"Shouldn't you be scanning?"
Archer
"I think Cyril's on that."
Archer
"-Not on that. -And clean yourselves up."
Archer
"You go a few days without food,"
Archer
"and suddenly you look like a pack of Okies"
Archer
"matted with wet dirt."
Archer
"Uh, it's called mud,"
Archer
"and why is it that you don't care about starving?"
Archer
"Oh, I've trained myself to live on a liquid diet."
Archer
"I guess that's the upside of having blood"
Archer
"that's basically formaldehyde."
Archer
"So you're essentially pre-embalmed."
Archer
"Okay, look, we're all hungry."
Archer
"Let's just calm down and stop insulting Mother"
Archer
"until I think of a really good one."
Archer
"I'll mark my calendar."
Archer
"[snoring]"
Archer
"Oh, look-- it's dreaming."
Archer
"Shouldn't we try eating these eggs?"
Archer
"I mean, before we drown in them?"
Archer
"Not yet. Krieger says they're loaded with all sorts"
Archer
"of crazy chemicals and God knows what."
Archer
"Pam seems okay."
Archer
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