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Clips from Cheers - Where There's a Will... (S02E02)

AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

"AND I DON'T LIKE IT."

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COME ON, COME ON. DON'T LET THIS COME BETWEEN US.

"COME ON, COME ON. DON'T LET THIS COME BETWEEN US."

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I WANT YOU TO HELP ME SPEND THE MONEY.

"I WANT YOU TO HELP ME SPEND THE MONEY."

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COME ON, IT'S GONNA MAKE US SO HAPPY.

"COME ON, IT'S GONNA MAKE US SO HAPPY."

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IT'S ALREADY MAKING ME MISERABLE.

"IT'S ALREADY MAKING ME MISERABLE."

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WELL, JUST WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE FUN WE HAVE

"WELL, JUST WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE FUN WE HAVE"

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OUT ON THAT BOAT TOGETHER.

"OUT ON THAT BOAT TOGETHER."

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DAMN, BOY!

"DAMN, BOY!"

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IF THAT GUY WOULD JUST KICK OFF IN FOUR MONTHS,

"IF THAT GUY WOULD JUST KICK OFF IN FOUR MONTHS,"

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WE COULD HAVE THAT BABY IN THE ATLANTIC BY SPRING.

"WE COULD HAVE THAT BABY IN THE ATLANTIC BY SPRING."

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DID YOU HEAR WHAT YOU JUST SAID?

"DID YOU HEAR WHAT YOU JUST SAID?"

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OH, MY GOD.

"OH, MY GOD."

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THAT WAS A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY, WASN'T IT?

"THAT WAS A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY, WASN'T IT?"

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SIX MONTHS WOULD BE FINE.

"SIX MONTHS WOULD BE FINE."

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WE COULD CATCH THE GULF STREAM.

"WE COULD CATCH THE GULF STREAM."

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SAM!

"SAM!"

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OH, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?

"OH, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?"

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I'M TURNING INTO A HORRIBLE PERSON.

"I'M TURNING INTO A HORRIBLE PERSON."

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YES, YOU ARE.

"YES, YOU ARE."

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I'M GONNA DO WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE

"I'M GONNA DO WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE"

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THE MINUTE I SET EYES THIS EVIL THING--

"THE MINUTE I SET EYES THIS EVIL THING--"

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I'M GONNA DESTROY IT BEFORE IT DESTROYS ME.

"I'M GONNA DESTROY IT BEFORE IT DESTROYS ME."

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OH...

"OH..."

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OH...

"OH..."

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THAT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, SAM.

"THAT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, SAM."

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NOW, LET'S JUST FORGET THAT ANY OF THIS EVER HAPPENED.

"NOW, LET'S JUST FORGET THAT ANY OF THIS EVER HAPPENED."

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OH, YES. LET'S.

"OH, YES. LET'S."

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OH...

"OH..."

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I HATE MYSELF FOR WHAT I JUST THOUGHT.

"I HATE MYSELF FOR WHAT I JUST THOUGHT."

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NO. NO, I WON'T EVEN SAY IT.

"NO. NO, I WON'T EVEN SAY IT."

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I KNOW YOU DIDN'T, BUT LET ME KNOW BETTER.

"I KNOW YOU DIDN'T, BUT LET ME KNOW BETTER."

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OH, COME ON, COME ON,

"OH, COME ON, COME ON,"

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DO YOU THINK THAT I'D REALLY DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN

"DO YOU THINK THAT I'D REALLY DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN"

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AFTER WHAT I JUST WENT THROUGH?

"AFTER WHAT I JUST WENT THROUGH?"

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I'M SORRY.

"I'M SORRY."

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WELL, I--

"WELL, I--"

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OF COURSE NOT.

"OF COURSE NOT."

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ANY PERSON WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING THAT VILE

"ANY PERSON WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING THAT VILE"

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WOULD HAVE GUILT EATING AWAY AT HIS GUTS

"WOULD HAVE GUILT EATING AWAY AT HIS GUTS"

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FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

"FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE."

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THANK YOU.

"THANK YOU."

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I HATE HER.

"I HATE HER."

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I REALLY, REALLY DO. I HATE HER SO MUCH.

"I REALLY, REALLY DO. I HATE HER SO MUCH."

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YEAH, THAT WAS MY POSTAL SUPERVISOR.

"YEAH, THAT WAS MY POSTAL SUPERVISOR."

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THEY NEED ME DOWN AT THE BRANCH OFFICE

"THEY NEED ME DOWN AT THE BRANCH OFFICE"

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TO HELP HANDLE THAT HOLIDAY DELUGE.

"TO HELP HANDLE THAT HOLIDAY DELUGE."

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AH, TERRIFIC, AND NOW THIS.

"AH, TERRIFIC, AND NOW THIS."

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MY COAT'S UNDERNEATH THIS MESS.

"MY COAT'S UNDERNEATH THIS MESS."

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ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, COME ON UP HERE

"ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, COME ON UP HERE"

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AND GET YOUR JACKETS, WILL YOU?

"AND GET YOUR JACKETS, WILL YOU?"

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THIS IS OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT BUSINESS.

"THIS IS OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT BUSINESS."

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CARLA.

"CARLA."

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GOT IT, SAM.

"GOT IT, SAM."

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STAND BACK.

"STAND BACK."

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I'M GOING IN.

"I'M GOING IN."

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I'LL FIND YOU, YOU LITTLE....

"I'LL FIND YOU, YOU LITTLE...."

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[CHEERING]

"[CHEERING]"

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CARLA, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT MY--

"CARLA, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT MY--"

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PUT IT ON, OR I TEAR OFF THE CLOTHES YOU'RE WEARING.

"PUT IT ON, OR I TEAR OFF THE CLOTHES YOU'RE WEARING."

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YES, MA'AM. YES. GOD BLESS YOU, CARLA.

"YES, MA'AM. YES. GOD BLESS YOU, CARLA."

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AH, WELL, AT LEAST DOGS WON'T ATTACK THEIR OWN, HUH?

"AH, WELL, AT LEAST DOGS WON'T ATTACK THEIR OWN, HUH?"

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* MAKING THE WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *

"* MAKING THE WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *"

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* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *

"* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *"

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* TAKING A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *

"* TAKING A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *"

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* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *

"* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *"

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* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY *

"* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY *"

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* SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO GO *

"* SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO GO *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *

"* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *"

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* YOU WANT TO BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *

"* YOU WANT TO BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *"

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* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANT TO BE *

"* YOU WANT TO BE *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* YOU WANT TO GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *

"* YOU WANT TO GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *"

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* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANT TO GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANT TO GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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ALLOW ME.

"ALLOW ME."

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THANK YOU.

"THANK YOU."

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WATCH THIS.

"WATCH THIS."

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HOW DO YOU DO THAT WITHOUT BURNING YOUR HAND?

"HOW DO YOU DO THAT WITHOUT BURNING YOUR HAND?"

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I DON'T.

"I DON'T."

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SAM, SHOW HER SOME OF THE OTHER TRICKS.

"SAM, SHOW HER SOME OF THE OTHER TRICKS."

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OH? YOU KNOW A LOT OF TRICKS, DO YOU?

"OH? YOU KNOW A LOT OF TRICKS, DO YOU?"

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YEAH, I KNOW MY SHARE.

"YEAH, I KNOW MY SHARE."

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SHOW HER THE ONE ABOUT THE DISAPPEARING GIRLFRIEND.

"SHOW HER THE ONE ABOUT THE DISAPPEARING GIRLFRIEND."

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COME ON. YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS ONE.

"COME ON. YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS ONE."

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WATCH THIS.

"WATCH THIS."

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WOO! OOH! OOH!

"WOO! OOH! OOH!"

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GOOD EVENING. WELCOME TO CHEERS.

"GOOD EVENING. WELCOME TO CHEERS."

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WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

"WHAT CAN I GET YOU?"

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WHAT'S YOUR BARTENDER'S SPECIALTY?

"WHAT'S YOUR BARTENDER'S SPECIALTY?"

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HE'S GOT A GREAT BATCH OF HOT BUTTERED RUM GOING. HOW'S THAT?

"HE'S GOT A GREAT BATCH OF HOT BUTTERED RUM GOING. HOW'S THAT?"

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SOUNDS GOOD. MAKE IT A DOUBLE.

"SOUNDS GOOD. MAKE IT A DOUBLE."

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I'VE JUST HAD THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

"I'VE JUST HAD THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE."

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WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I ALWAYS SAY?

"WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I ALWAYS SAY?"

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LIFE IS LIKE A CHINESE BANQUET.

"LIFE IS LIKE A CHINESE BANQUET."

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BETWEEN THE PEEKING DUCK AND THE SWEET AND SOUR FISH,

"BETWEEN THE PEEKING DUCK AND THE SWEET AND SOUR FISH,"

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YOU HAVE TO EXPECT A LITTLE CHICKEN FEET SOUP.

"YOU HAVE TO EXPECT A LITTLE CHICKEN FEET SOUP."

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SO LAUGH, DARN YOU, LAUGH.

"SO LAUGH, DARN YOU, LAUGH."

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I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD I HAVE SIX MONTHS TO LIVE.

"I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD I HAVE SIX MONTHS TO LIVE."

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I'M SORRY.

"I'M SORRY."

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I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE FACETIOUS.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE FACETIOUS."

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I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

"I'M TERRIBLY SORRY."

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I WENT ON AND ON LIKE A NINNY.

"I WENT ON AND ON LIKE A NINNY."

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MAYBE I SHOULD GET YOU SOMETHING?

"MAYBE I SHOULD GET YOU SOMETHING?"

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SAM, HOW DO YOU DO THIS TRICK? YOU KNOW, THAT ONE?

"SAM, HOW DO YOU DO THIS TRICK? YOU KNOW, THAT ONE?"

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IT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND, CARLA.

"IT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND, CARLA."

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THE TRICK IS, WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT,

"THE TRICK IS, WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT,"

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THINK ABOUT THE MOST PLEASANT THING IN YOUR LIFE.

"THINK ABOUT THE MOST PLEASANT THING IN YOUR LIFE."

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BEING BURNED BY THIS MATCH

"BEING BURNED BY THIS MATCH"

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WOULD BE THE MOST PLEASANT THING IN MY LIFE.

"WOULD BE THE MOST PLEASANT THING IN MY LIFE."

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SAM?

"SAM?"

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YEAH.

"YEAH."

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YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THAT MAN

"YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THAT MAN"

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OVER THERE ALONE AT THE TABLE.

"OVER THERE ALONE AT THE TABLE."

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WHY?

"WHY?"

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WELL, HE CAME IN HERE BECAUSE HE JUST FOUND OUT

"WELL, HE CAME IN HERE BECAUSE HE JUST FOUND OUT"

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HE'S GOT SIX MONTHS TO LIVE.

"HE'S GOT SIX MONTHS TO LIVE."

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OH, COME ON. YOU SURE THAT'S NOT JUST AN OPENING LINE?

"OH, COME ON. YOU SURE THAT'S NOT JUST AN OPENING LINE?"

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SAM, WHAT KIND OF A REPTILE

"SAM, WHAT KIND OF A REPTILE"

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