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Clips from Cheers - Where There's a Will... (S02E02)

WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT

"WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT"

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AS A SEXUAL OVERTURE?

"AS A SEXUAL OVERTURE?"

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NOBODY. I MEAN, NOT ME, THAT'S FOR SURE.

"NOBODY. I MEAN, NOT ME, THAT'S FOR SURE."

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WELL, HE SEEMS TO WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

"WELL, HE SEEMS TO WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."

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I'LL TALK TO HIM.

"I'LL TALK TO HIM."

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HOW DO YOU CHEER SOMEONE UP

"HOW DO YOU CHEER SOMEONE UP"

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WHO'S GOT SIX MONTHS TO LIVE?

"WHO'S GOT SIX MONTHS TO LIVE?"

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I'LL TELL HIM I HAVE FIVE.

"I'LL TELL HIM I HAVE FIVE."

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WHAT IS HE DRINKING?

"WHAT IS HE DRINKING?"

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HOT BUTTERED RUMS.

"HOT BUTTERED RUMS."

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HEY, EVERYBODY, NOW, WATCH THIS. WATCH THIS.

"HEY, EVERYBODY, NOW, WATCH THIS. WATCH THIS."

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HEY, WAY TO GO, COACH.

"HEY, WAY TO GO, COACH."

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YOU MUST HAVE A HIGH THRESHOLD OF PAIN.

"YOU MUST HAVE A HIGH THRESHOLD OF PAIN."

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I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD.

"I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD."

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HEH HEH. PRETTY TOUGH GUY.

"HEH HEH. PRETTY TOUGH GUY."

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NO, HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THRESHOLD MEANS.

"NO, HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THRESHOLD MEANS."

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THANKS, NORMIE.

"THANKS, NORMIE."

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HI. CAN I JOIN YOU?

"HI. CAN I JOIN YOU?"

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MY NAME'S SAM MALONE. I'M THE OWNER OF THE BAR.

"MY NAME'S SAM MALONE. I'M THE OWNER OF THE BAR."

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MALCOLM KRAMER. HOW DO YOU DO?

"MALCOLM KRAMER. HOW DO YOU DO?"

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BEFORE I RETIRED,

"BEFORE I RETIRED,"

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I OWNED A CHEMICAL PLANT OUTSIDE OF CHICAGO.

"I OWNED A CHEMICAL PLANT OUTSIDE OF CHICAGO."

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YOU KNOW, THIS MAY BE NONE OF MY BUSINESS,

"YOU KNOW, THIS MAY BE NONE OF MY BUSINESS,"

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BUT HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING A SECOND OPINION?

"BUT HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING A SECOND OPINION?"

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I MEAN, DOCTORS DO MAKE MISTAKES.

"I MEAN, DOCTORS DO MAKE MISTAKES."

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EVERY DOCTOR I'VE BEEN TO HAS GIVEN ME THE SAME DIAGNOSIS--

"EVERY DOCTOR I'VE BEEN TO HAS GIVEN ME THE SAME DIAGNOSIS--"

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AND I'VE BEEN TO 12 OF THE WORLD'S LEADING SPECIALISTS.

"AND I'VE BEEN TO 12 OF THE WORLD'S LEADING SPECIALISTS."

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MAYBE YOU'D GET BETTER NEWS

"MAYBE YOU'D GET BETTER NEWS"

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IF YOU WENT TO A QUACK.

"IF YOU WENT TO A QUACK."

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HOW'S YOUR DRINK?

"HOW'S YOUR DRINK?"

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EXCELLENT. YOU'RE A VERY GOOD BARTENDER.

"EXCELLENT. YOU'RE A VERY GOOD BARTENDER."

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[LAUGHTER]

"[LAUGHTER]"

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THEY SOUND AS IF THEY'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.

"THEY SOUND AS IF THEY'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME."

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YOU KNOW, I WORKED MY WAY THROUGH HARVARD BUSINESS

"YOU KNOW, I WORKED MY WAY THROUGH HARVARD BUSINESS"

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TENDING BAR.

"TENDING BAR."

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SOME OF THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE.

"SOME OF THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE."

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YOU THINK YOU STILL GOT THE TOUCH?

"YOU THINK YOU STILL GOT THE TOUCH?"

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YOU MEAN IT?

"YOU MEAN IT?"

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WHY NOT? COME ON.

"WHY NOT? COME ON."

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WE ONLY GOT TWO RULES AROUND HERE.

"WE ONLY GOT TWO RULES AROUND HERE."

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NO EMPTY GLASSES ON THE BAR,

"NO EMPTY GLASSES ON THE BAR,"

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AND IF SOMEBODY BELTS YOU,

"AND IF SOMEBODY BELTS YOU,"

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JUST BLAME A WAITRESS.

"JUST BLAME A WAITRESS."

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YOU GOT IT.

"YOU GOT IT."

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* OH, LORD, I WISH THAT I'D BEEN BORN *

"* OH, LORD, I WISH THAT I'D BEEN BORN *"

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* IN BORNEO, ICHABOO ICHABOO ICHABOO... *

"* IN BORNEO, ICHABOO ICHABOO ICHABOO... *"

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* SAY, CAN YOU PICTURE ME *

"* SAY, CAN YOU PICTURE ME *"

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* BENEATH THE PEPPER TREE *

"* BENEATH THE PEPPER TREE *"

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* I'D BE SO PEPPERY *

"* I'D BE SO PEPPERY *"

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* WITH ALL THOSE WILD OL' WOMEN **

"* WITH ALL THOSE WILD OL' WOMEN **"

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[CHEERING]

"[CHEERING]"

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Norm: HE DID IT!

"Norm: HE DID IT!"

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WHAT AM I YELLING ABOUT?

"WHAT AM I YELLING ABOUT?"

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I BET AGAINST HIM.

"I BET AGAINST HIM."

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THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

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YOU LOSE IT.

"YOU LOSE IT."

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THIS GUY'S TERRIFIC.

"THIS GUY'S TERRIFIC."

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I MEAN, HE'S A GREAT STORY TELLER,

"I MEAN, HE'S A GREAT STORY TELLER,"

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AND HE REALLY KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

"AND HE REALLY KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING."

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I MEAN, REALLY WE SHOULD HAVE AN OLDER GUY BEHIND THE BAR.

"I MEAN, REALLY WE SHOULD HAVE AN OLDER GUY BEHIND THE BAR."

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CUSTOMERS WOULD LIKE IT.

"CUSTOMERS WOULD LIKE IT."

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WHAT ABOUT YOU, COACH?

"WHAT ABOUT YOU, COACH?"

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OH, I'D LIKE IT, TOO.

"OH, I'D LIKE IT, TOO."

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I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

"I'LL THINK ABOUT IT."

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THANKS, SAM.

"THANKS, SAM."

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HEY, WE'RE GETTING LOW ON BEER MUGS.

"HEY, WE'RE GETTING LOW ON BEER MUGS."

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CAN SOMEONE WASH THESE OUT FOR ME HERE, PLEASE?

"CAN SOMEONE WASH THESE OUT FOR ME HERE, PLEASE?"

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I'D LOVE TO.

"I'D LOVE TO."

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YOU LIKE WASHING GLASSES?

"YOU LIKE WASHING GLASSES?"

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YOU BET. SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE AN 18-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE BOY.

"YOU BET. SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE AN 18-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE BOY."

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ME, TOO.

"ME, TOO."

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SEE ONE AROUND?

"SEE ONE AROUND?"

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YOU'RE ON, CUTEY.

"YOU'RE ON, CUTEY."

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* HOW THE REINDEERS LOVED HIM... **

"* HOW THE REINDEERS LOVED HIM... **"

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IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GOT BACK.

"IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GOT BACK."

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WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? THE WIND SHOT RIGHT THROUGH THAT OLD THING.

"WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? THE WIND SHOT RIGHT THROUGH THAT OLD THING."

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AND THOSE LIFESAVERS HAD TO BE AT LEAST A YEAR OLD.

"AND THOSE LIFESAVERS HAD TO BE AT LEAST A YEAR OLD."

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BOY, IF BOSTON EVER KNEW HOW CLOSE IT CAME TO CATASTROPHE,

"BOY, IF BOSTON EVER KNEW HOW CLOSE IT CAME TO CATASTROPHE,"

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THERE'D BE PANIC IN THE STREETS.

"THERE'D BE PANIC IN THE STREETS."

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KRAMER, THAT'S CLIFF. HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.

"KRAMER, THAT'S CLIFF. HE'S MY BEST FRIEND."

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GIVE HIM A BEER.

"GIVE HIM A BEER."

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THAT'S MR. KRAMER. HE'S A CUSTOMER.

"THAT'S MR. KRAMER. HE'S A CUSTOMER."

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CUSTOMER? WHY, IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU,

"CUSTOMER? WHY, IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU,"

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I'D RATHER HAVE MY POTABLES PREPARED BY A COMPETENT MIXOLOGIST.

"I'D RATHER HAVE MY POTABLES PREPARED BY A COMPETENT MIXOLOGIST."

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CLIFF, YOU WANNA BE A LITTLE SENSITIVE HERE?

"CLIFF, YOU WANNA BE A LITTLE SENSITIVE HERE?"

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SAM'S LETTING HIM DO THIS AS A FAVOR.

"SAM'S LETTING HIM DO THIS AS A FAVOR."

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DOC SAYS HE'S GOING BELLY UP IN A FEW MONTHS.

"DOC SAYS HE'S GOING BELLY UP IN A FEW MONTHS."

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AH, GEE, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

"AH, GEE, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT."

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THOSE ARE THE BREAKS, HUH?

"THOSE ARE THE BREAKS, HUH?"

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YEAH.

"YEAH."

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MR. KRAMER, I'M SORRY TO DO THIS TO YOU,

"MR. KRAMER, I'M SORRY TO DO THIS TO YOU,"

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BUT YOU WANTED ME TO LET YOU KNOW WHEN IT WAS 11:00.

"BUT YOU WANTED ME TO LET YOU KNOW WHEN IT WAS 11:00."

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OH, RIGHT. I GOT A PLANE TO CATCH.

"OH, RIGHT. I GOT A PLANE TO CATCH."

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OH, GEE, YOU REALLY GOING TO LEAVE?

"OH, GEE, YOU REALLY GOING TO LEAVE?"

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YES. I DON'T WANT THEM

"YES. I DON'T WANT THEM"

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TO CALL ME THE LATE MALCOLM KRAMER

"TO CALL ME THE LATE MALCOLM KRAMER"

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BEFORE IT'S OFFICIAL. HA HA!

"BEFORE IT'S OFFICIAL. HA HA!"

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THANK YOU, SAM.

"THANK YOU, SAM."

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ANY TIME, MALCOLM.

"ANY TIME, MALCOLM."

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LISTEN, YOU COME BACK BEFORE...

"LISTEN, YOU COME BACK BEFORE..."

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SOON.

"SOON."

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COME BACK REAL SOON.

"COME BACK REAL SOON."

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GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY, AND THANK YOU.

"GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY, AND THANK YOU."

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I'VE HAD A WONDERFUL TIME JUST WHEN I NEEDED IT.

"I'VE HAD A WONDERFUL TIME JUST WHEN I NEEDED IT."

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SOMEDAY, I HOPE YOU'LL APPRECIATE

"SOMEDAY, I HOPE YOU'LL APPRECIATE"

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HOW MUCH I REALLY DID ENJOY IT.

"HOW MUCH I REALLY DID ENJOY IT."

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NICE MEETING YOU. THANK YOU. BYE.

"NICE MEETING YOU. THANK YOU. BYE."

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GOOD-BYE, MR. KRAMER.

"GOOD-BYE, MR. KRAMER."

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THAT'S A NICE GUY.

"THAT'S A NICE GUY."

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THANKS, NORM.

"THANKS, NORM."

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MY POP ALWAYS TOLD ME TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

"MY POP ALWAYS TOLD ME TO SAY GOOD-BYE."

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[TAPPING ON GLASS]

"[TAPPING ON GLASS]"

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EXCUSE ME.

"EXCUSE ME."

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WHAT YOU PEOPLE DID THIS EVENING

"WHAT YOU PEOPLE DID THIS EVENING"

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WAS MAGNIFICENT.

"WAS MAGNIFICENT."

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IT STRENGTHENED IN ME A FAITH IN HUMANITY

"IT STRENGTHENED IN ME A FAITH IN HUMANITY"

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THAT GETS A LITTLE SHAKY AT TIMES.

"THAT GETS A LITTLE SHAKY AT TIMES."

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AND I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW

"AND I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW"

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THAT THERE'S NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO FOR ANY OF YOU.

"THAT THERE'S NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO FOR ANY OF YOU."

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HOT DOG!

"HOT DOG!"

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