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Clips from Weeds - All About My Mom (S05E05)

"Previously on Weeds:"
Weeds
"If I was shot in my jerk-off arm, I'd be mad too."
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"I can make the pain go away any time with a pill..."
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"...but I don't want to."
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"Hey, fuck you, man."
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"They smoked heroin."
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"Her friends suck."
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"She kind of sucks."
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"I'm gonna out-Nancy, Nancy."
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"You two idiots wanna get back at Mom, right?"
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"All right, then. Let's do this right."
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"You know, I could use a little more snakebite for my lips."
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"Nancy, it's me. The cops are after me."
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"I have this bag full of plants."
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"-I need your help. -Bingo."
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"I knew it was a bad idea having you pick me up."
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"Gayle has a thing for me. They're dangerous, Andy."
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"Fornicators!"
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"I'm gonna ask Audra to marry me."
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"I wanna give her my mom's ring. The ring that Judah gave you."
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"So can I have it?"
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"Pilar Zuazo, I want her dead."
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"Depends if you can help me out. Get my case transferred to Mexico."
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"Esteban Reyes?"
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"He's not here."
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"-What? -He was released four hours ago."
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"He's back on the ticket. She pulled him back in."
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"Good morning."
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"I'll step outside so you can get undressed."
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"-Yeah, what is this? -A gift. For you."
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"No, thank you. I don't want it."
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"I can't leave this room until I've done my job."
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"Please leave."
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"I can see you need me."
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"Let me help you."
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"Don't make me sit on you."
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"Relax. Relax."
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"-Sorry. -Don't be sorry. Just be limp."
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"You know my husband's running for governor?"
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"Yes, I heard. Congratulations."
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"Relax. And breathe."
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"-He's a puppet. -You be my puppet."
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"Let me pull the strings."
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"-Men are weak. -Some men are weak."
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"Women are strong."
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"-Until they fall apart. -You are not going to fall apart."
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"-Oh, no? What makes you so sure? -You're a warrior."
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"Like the boss. Very similar."
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"Locked up in all the same places."
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"Armored and ready for battle."
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"Well, at least we still have that in common."
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"You'd be surprised how much you have in common with Pilar."
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"-Pilar? -Yes. She sent me to you."
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"She wanted you feeling relaxed and well."
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"Did we do the job?"
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"-There you are, you feral bitch. -Stop right there."
Weeds
"Digging the hair. You got this whole crazy-gypsy thing going on."
Weeds
"Wanna lick my crystal balls?"
Weeds
"I have a proposition for you."
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"Does it involve licking my crystal balls?"
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"I have some product I'm trying to unload."
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"And I will let it go cheap."
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"Fire sale. I'm out of here. I'm getting out of this business."
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"Since when are you in the business?"
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"-Anyway, I'm broke. -How broke?"
Weeds
"I got $37."
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"Crap."
Weeds
"How about this?"
Weeds
"You take my stuff on credit, you reopen that little shop..."
Weeds
"...and then pay me back in a timely fashion."
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"And if you screw me on the deal..."
Weeds
"...I'll have your legs broken by a Mexican goon."
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"What do you say? Deal?"
Weeds
"Let me see what you got."
Weeds
"That's not my pot. Where did you get this?"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"Nothing."
Weeds
"-Oh, my God. You know. -Know what?"
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"Oh, Christ. Of course. Fucking Dean."
Weeds
"You're the worst actor ever."
Weeds
"Where's my pot, you stinky gash?"
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"-My pot-store pot. -I sold your pot-store pot."
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"-Then where's my money? -I rented a condo and bought this pot."
Weeds
"This is my pot and you owe me."
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"I am not letting you have that. I have worked too hard for it."
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"-You were begging me to take this. -That's because the heat is on."
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"-That doesn't mean you can take it. -That's right."
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"I'm gonna call that black cop and have you arrested."
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"Wait, wait, wait. How did you know he was black?"
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"-What? -You son of a bitch."
Weeds
"I thought you were breast-feeding."
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"I had a little too much to drink last night."
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"I know. Here I go, failing yet another one of my children."
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"I didn't say that."
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"No, you didn't. You don't say much of anything to me anymore."
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"What am I supposed to say?"
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"I don't know."
Weeds
"So there we are."
Weeds
"You should go feed the baby."
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"Hey, guys."
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"Gotta go feed the baby."
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"Then you should do that."
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"I fed both of you."
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"Breast-fed both of you."
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"I did."
Weeds
"Well, thanks."
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"You're welcome."
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"Weirdness."
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"She's Mom."
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"She's Mom."
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"-Who is it? -Adelita."
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"She probably snuck out to see those fucking idiots and can't get in."
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"Hello? Hey."
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"Where are you?"
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"I'll be there in a sec."
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"-Where is she? -She's here. In her room."
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"-She wants me to come up there. -Wear a condom."
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"-You learned that lesson, huh? -Or don't."
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"See what will happen."
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"Maybe she slept with someone who slept with someone famous."
Weeds
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