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Clips from That '70s Show (1998) - Black Dog (S05E05)

"Steven, I'm telling you, beards are out."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Look at Malibu Barbie."
That '70s Show (1998)
"She can date anyone she wants."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But she's with Malibu Ken. Why?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Because Malibu Ken doesn't have a beard!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yes, he does. Malibu Barbie's his beard."
That '70s Show (1998)
"No straight man would wear shorts that tight."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I don't care. Just shave it off."
That '70s Show (1998)
"It's like making out with carpet."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, here it is- the beginning of the end for you two."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, I remember the part of our relationship when aIIJackie did was boss me around."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, that part only lasted- what, like, six years?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"And he's a better man for it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"So come on, Steven. Let's shave that beard."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackie, you just gave an order in the form of a cheer."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, where are you going?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wherever the beard takes me."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackie, sweetie, we just got a phone call, and you're needed at home."
That '70s Show (1998)
"So why don't you grab your coat. Mr. Forman'll give you a ride home."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Do you know what's going on? - No. I don't know anything."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I know everything!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"You know how Jackie's father is a city councilman?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Not anymore. He just got arrested for bribery. He could go to prison."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, I'm glad."
That '70s Show (1998)
"That guy makes Republicans look like a bunch of crooks and greedy businessmen."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, well, thank God for the honest ones like Richard Nixon, huh?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, no."
That '70s Show (1998)
"What did you say?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I- I said that..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Nixon was framed, and Kennedy was a commie?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"That's right."
That '70s Show (1998)
"What's with the gun, Trigger?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, will you relax, Eric? It's not a gun. It's a BB gun."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, I lost it when I was, like, 10, and I found it this morning buried in my backyard."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Why were you digging in your backyard?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Uh, dinosaurs."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Watch the news, Donna!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"You guys, I can't believe that Mr. Burkhart might actually be going to prison."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Ah, the tragedy. My father was sent to prison..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"and it led to a life of drugs and prostitution."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- What? - Yes. Then his pimp killed him."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But then the medical examiner found a tiny hair."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And he solved the crime, and he sent the pimp bastard to the chair."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Fez, that was last night's episode of Quincy."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, I didn't know you watched that show."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, this is rough stuff Jackie's going through."
That '70s Show (1998)
"She'll come runnin' to me- Old Faithful."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Kelso, Jackie's with me now."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Maybe. But we have history."
That '70s Show (1998)
"So when she needs a shoulder to cry on, she'll rest her head on these broad babies."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Feel 'em."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Rock hard, amigo."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Man, you don't wantJackie leaning on your shoulders."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- They're all bruised. - Where?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"(Groans)"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Man, I should really see those coming by now."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh! Watch the gun, Cool Hand Luke."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Will you relax, Eric? God, guns don't just go off by accident."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Really? Well, what about Eric's fourth-grade hamster, Snowball?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, no, Snowball wasn't shot. He went upstate to live with a nice farm family."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You shot Snowball?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, the gun went off by accident!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, sweet pea, I'm here for you."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Um, bake him a cake with a file in it?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"What do you want me to say?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Nothing. Look, I just- Oh, never mind."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now we're talking. Donna, give her a kiss."
That '70s Show (1998)
"(Rock Group Singing)"
That '70s Show (1998)
"(Ends)"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Hello, Wisconsin!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackie blew right by me to get to Hyde!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, there's my boss, Nina."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Queen of the D.M. V."
That '70s Show (1998)
"She haunts my dreams."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wait. I thought Mr. Roper from Three's Company haunted your dreams."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, he's there too."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Bug-eyed bastard."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Look at how beautiful she is."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You have to help me win her heart."
That '70s Show (1998)
"What ever happened toJackie's heart?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"At first I thought they were just killing time."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- But Nina- - But now I actually think they're getting serious."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- But Nina- - Jackie and Hyde-"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Enough! It's over for you, pin-brain!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now, to summarize-"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackie gone, Nina still in play."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now help me do this thing."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Fez."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Nina. My "queen-a." (Giggles)"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I told you I don't like that."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now you're late for your fingerprint tutorial, so move it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Whoo, tough cookie."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yes, Fez likes the hardheaded mamas."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Really? I'm starting to get into the Asian ladies."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I know what you mean. Mystery of the Orient. Very sexy."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Hey. - Hey."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Donna, what are you doing wearing the engagement ring?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"It's supposed to be a secret. You didn't tell anyone, did you?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, Eric, I have no self-control, so I told the pretzel guy at the park."
That '70s Show (1998)
"(Laughs) Okay."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Seriously, I have no self-control, and I told the pretzel guy at the park."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Donna! - I'm sorry."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I'm excited. I had to tell someone."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Plus, uh, free pretzel."
That '70s Show (1998)
"What's wrong, Steven? Problems with Jackie?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, I said the wrong thing."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, I have menopause. Do you have menopause?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Uh, no."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Lucky bastard."
That '70s Show (1998)
"tell me what happened."
That '70s Show (1998)
"(Clears Throat) Well..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"she wanted me to say something to make her feel better, and I couldn't think of anything."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, Steven, you don't know how to comfort people, because you've never been comforted."
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, that's not true. One time, my dad felt so bad about missing my Little League game..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"that he made up for it by disappearing for nine years."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, after what you've been through..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"you don't have to be nice to anybody."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackie can just leave you alone."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Now I'm just- I'm gonna go upstairs and cry a little."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Problems with Jackie, huh?"
That '70s Show (1998)
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