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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Murder in the Old West (S02E02)

For prostate health awareness!

"For prostate health awareness!"

Mr. Mayor

Well, the optics were not great.

"Well, the optics were not great."

Mr. Mayor

You're not gonna ruin this idea for me, Arpi.

"You're not gonna ruin this idea for me, Arpi."

Mr. Mayor

Because I'm not gonna tell you what it is.

"Because I'm not gonna tell you what it is."

Mr. Mayor

Instead, I'll be playing "Fruit Ninja" on my phone.

"Instead, I'll be playing "Fruit Ninja" on my phone."

Mr. Mayor

Excuse me, sir, maybe you didn't hear before

"Excuse me, sir, maybe you didn't hear before"

Mr. Mayor

about the phone bowl.

"about the phone bowl."

Mr. Mayor

And I don't hear you this time either, Jayden.

"And I don't hear you this time either, Jayden."

Mr. Mayor

Well, now there's a real mystery afoot tonight.

"Well, now there's a real mystery afoot tonight."

Mr. Mayor

How is the mayor planning

"How is the mayor planning"

Mr. Mayor

to blow $90 million before I can stop him?

"to blow $90 million before I can stop him?"

Mr. Mayor

No, the real mystery is what is up with James tonight.

"No, the real mystery is what is up with James tonight."

Mr. Mayor

Was that him flirting with me, or Dr. Princeton?

"Was that him flirting with me, or Dr. Princeton?"

Mr. Mayor

No, don't get distracted.

"No, don't get distracted."

Mr. Mayor

We have to solve the stupid murder so we can all go home.

"We have to solve the stupid murder so we can all go home."

Mr. Mayor

Wendy Williams is on "Cordon" tonight,

"Wendy Williams is on "Cordon" tonight,"

Mr. Mayor

and I love not knowing how to feel about that.

"and I love not knowing how to feel about that."

Mr. Mayor

Y'all want to know what I think the real mystery is?

"Y'all want to know what I think the real mystery is?"

Mr. Mayor

Who's had four hard ciders tonight

"Who's had four hard ciders tonight"

Mr. Mayor

when she promised the mirror she wouldn't drink?

"when she promised the mirror she wouldn't drink?"

Mr. Mayor

[sighs]

"[sighs]"

Mr. Mayor

Shh.

"Shh."

Mr. Mayor

[whispers] Wink.

"[whispers] Wink."

Mr. Mayor

You feel that kickin'? That's our love child, Camarillo.

"You feel that kickin'? That's our love child, Camarillo."

Mr. Mayor

I'm a man of few words,

"I'm a man of few words,"

Mr. Mayor

so I don't know how to describe this feeling.

"so I don't know how to describe this feeling."

Mr. Mayor

It's orange, maybe.

"It's orange, maybe."

Mr. Mayor

Colette, darling,

"Colette, darling,"

Mr. Mayor

do you have a moment for your simple-minded husband?

"do you have a moment for your simple-minded husband?"

Mr. Mayor

He probably needs help bathrooming.

"He probably needs help bathrooming."

Mr. Mayor

I'll leave you two alone.

"I'll leave you two alone."

Mr. Mayor

I don't need--

"I don't need--"

Mr. Mayor

It says on all our cards you do.

"It says on all our cards you do."

Mr. Mayor

Hey, thank you for being such a good sport tonight.

"Hey, thank you for being such a good sport tonight."

Mr. Mayor

I think we've put our time in.

"I think we've put our time in."

Mr. Mayor

And Takasugi will take us at 9:00.

"And Takasugi will take us at 9:00."

Mr. Mayor

Neil, I'm having fun.

"Neil, I'm having fun."

Mr. Mayor

I don't want to leave.

"I don't want to leave."

Mr. Mayor

Y'all are just gonna have to bathroom on your own.

"Y'all are just gonna have to bathroom on your own."

Mr. Mayor

Maybe tie the sponge to a stick so you can reach.

"Maybe tie the sponge to a stick so you can reach."

Mr. Mayor

[door shuts]

"[door shuts]"

Mr. Mayor

"♪"

Mr. Mayor

Ms. Shaw,

"Ms. Shaw,"

Mr. Mayor

did the mayor take any off-schedule meetings

"did the mayor take any off-schedule meetings"

Mr. Mayor

this afternoon?

"this afternoon?"

Mr. Mayor

You know,

"You know,"

Mr. Mayor

after the $90 million bucks fell into his narrow, bony lap.

"after the $90 million bucks fell into his narrow, bony lap."

Mr. Mayor

Well, off-schedule meetings

"Well, off-schedule meetings"

Mr. Mayor

are off-schedule for a reason, Arpi.

"are off-schedule for a reason, Arpi."

Mr. Mayor

You help me, I'll help you figure out what James--

"You help me, I'll help you figure out what James--"

Mr. Mayor

Sebastian Felix. The mayor took a last-minute

"Sebastian Felix. The mayor took a last-minute"

Mr. Mayor

meeting today with Sebastian Felix.

"meeting today with Sebastian Felix."

Mr. Mayor

The supermarket guy?

"The supermarket guy?"

Mr. Mayor

The supermarket billionaire.

"The supermarket billionaire."

Mr. Mayor

He invented cashiers saying, "Oh, I've tried that.

"He invented cashiers saying, "Oh, I've tried that."

Mr. Mayor

You're gonna love it."

"You're gonna love it.""

Mr. Mayor

Okay, now my turn. I need to figure out

"Okay, now my turn. I need to figure out"

Mr. Mayor

if Dr. Princeton is flirting with women

"if Dr. Princeton is flirting with women"

Mr. Mayor

to try to get information as part of the game,

"to try to get information as part of the game,"

Mr. Mayor

or if James is flirting with me for reals.

"or if James is flirting with me for reals."

Mr. Mayor

Dr. Princeton, good evening.

"Dr. Princeton, good evening."

Mr. Mayor

Mr. Cole. How do you do?

"Mr. Cole. How do you do?"

Mr. Mayor

Shoot. I forgot that Arpi's a man.

"Shoot. I forgot that Arpi's a man."

Mr. Mayor

You know, Doctor, I'm a widower.

"You know, Doctor, I'm a widower."

Mr. Mayor

Without my wife, it gets lonely in that big house.

"Without my wife, it gets lonely in that big house."

Mr. Mayor

So I want you to be my sugar baby.

"So I want you to be my sugar baby."

Mr. Mayor

Why didn't you remind me that your character is male?

"Why didn't you remind me that your character is male?"

Mr. Mayor

I'm wearing a top hat and a bolo tie.

"I'm wearing a top hat and a bolo tie."

Mr. Mayor

That's your costume?

"That's your costume?"

Mr. Mayor

I could have sworn you were those to work.

"I could have sworn you were those to work."

Mr. Mayor

Hmm.

"Hmm."

Mr. Mayor

I could see me rocking it.

"I could see me rocking it."

Mr. Mayor

[phone chimes] - That might be me.

"[phone chimes] - That might be me."

Mr. Mayor

Beyonce's dropping some new Ivy Park today.

"Beyonce's dropping some new Ivy Park today."

Mr. Mayor

The theme is "crossing guard,"

"The theme is "crossing guard,""

Mr. Mayor

and I've got to have that reflective safety vest.

"and I've got to have that reflective safety vest."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, this is James--

"Oh, this is James--"

Mr. Mayor

he's on Hinge?

"he's on Hinge?"

Mr. Mayor

The magazine for hardware enthusiasts?

"The magazine for hardware enthusiasts?"

Mr. Mayor

I subscribe to that.

"I subscribe to that."

Mr. Mayor

I don't have time to explain the world to you.

"I don't have time to explain the world to you."

Mr. Mayor

Tommy. Where's Tommy?

"Tommy. Where's Tommy?"

Mr. Mayor

What did you say to him?

"What did you say to him?"

Mr. Mayor

To Enos? Nothing.

"To Enos? Nothing."

Mr. Mayor

I'm talking about the mayor, James.

"I'm talking about the mayor, James."

Mr. Mayor

He had a secret meeting with Sebastian Felix

"He had a secret meeting with Sebastian Felix"

Mr. Mayor

this afternoon.

"this afternoon."

Mr. Mayor

What cockamamie idea

"What cockamamie idea"

Mr. Mayor

did you put in his big silver head?

"did you put in his big silver head?"

Mr. Mayor

No idea, Arpi. I swear.

"No idea, Arpi. I swear."

Mr. Mayor

I mean, I pitched him a high-speed rail to Vegas

"I mean, I pitched him a high-speed rail to Vegas"

Mr. Mayor

and then he said,

"and then he said,"

Mr. Mayor

"You got the high and the speed right,"

""You got the high and the speed right,""

Mr. Mayor

and then he laughed like he made a joke,

"and then he laughed like he made a joke,"

Mr. Mayor

but I did not have enough context to get it.

"but I did not have enough context to get it."

Mr. Mayor

Hinge, Thomas!

"Hinge, Thomas!"

Mr. Mayor

How does being on the apps

"How does being on the apps"

Mr. Mayor

line up with "I can't."

"line up with "I can't.""

Mr. Mayor

Well, how could Dr. Princeton had been

"Well, how could Dr. Princeton had been"

Mr. Mayor

lancing Enos's pustules

"lancing Enos's pustules"

Mr. Mayor

at the same time he was electrocuting corpses?

"at the same time he was electrocuting corpses?"

Mr. Mayor

"I can't" is not the same as "I'm not interested"

""I can't" is not the same as "I'm not interested""

Mr. Mayor

'cause he was. But being on the apps

"'cause he was. But being on the apps"

Mr. Mayor

is not the same as "I can't."

"is not the same as "I can't.""

Mr. Mayor

It's "I can and I am", right?

"It's "I can and I am", right?"

Mr. Mayor

- Honestly, what? - I don't know.

"- Honestly, what? - I don't know."

Mr. Mayor

Look, I need to go talk to James.

"Look, I need to go talk to James."

Mr. Mayor

Yes, perfect. You go talk to James as Tommy.

"Yes, perfect. You go talk to James as Tommy."

Mr. Mayor

Tell him how no one's ever replied

"Tell him how no one's ever replied"

Mr. Mayor

to your messages on Grindr, not even the torsos.

"to your messages on Grindr, not even the torsos."

Mr. Mayor

No. Not about that.

"No. Not about that."

Mr. Mayor

His alibi doesn't add up.

"His alibi doesn't add up."

Mr. Mayor

Mr. Tomas, did the mayor give you

"Mr. Tomas, did the mayor give you"

Mr. Mayor

any special assignments today?

"any special assignments today?"

Mr. Mayor

If Mayor Bremer asked me to do something,

"If Mayor Bremer asked me to do something,"

Mr. Mayor

why would I tell you?

"why would I tell you?"

Mr. Mayor

Because you know what I know.

"Because you know what I know."

Mr. Mayor

♪ Because you know I'm all about that bass ♪

"♪ Because you know I'm all about that bass ♪"

Mr. Mayor

♪ 'Bout that bass, no treble ♪

"♪ 'Bout that bass, no treble ♪"

Mr. Mayor

♪ I'm all about the bass, 'bout the bass, no treble-- ♪

"♪ I'm all about the bass, 'bout the bass, no treble-- ♪"

Mr. Mayor

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