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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Murder in the Old West (S02E02)

Oh, my God, please stop.

"Oh, my God, please stop."

Mr. Mayor

Earlier today the mayor asked me

"Earlier today the mayor asked me"

Mr. Mayor

to look into eminent domain law.

"to look into eminent domain law."

Mr. Mayor

I'd like to solve the mystery.

"I'd like to solve the mystery."

Mr. Mayor

The mystery of what you think you're doing with that money.

"The mystery of what you think you're doing with that money."

Mr. Mayor

It has come to my attention that you have city lawyers

"It has come to my attention that you have city lawyers"

Mr. Mayor

working up a brief on eminent domain law.

"working up a brief on eminent domain law."

Mr. Mayor

Is it a coincidence that the county just condemned

"Is it a coincidence that the county just condemned"

Mr. Mayor

four square blocks of downtown LA's historic

"four square blocks of downtown LA's historic"

Mr. Mayor

Murder Hotel District?

"Murder Hotel District?"

Mr. Mayor

And do the words "high" and "fast"

"And do the words "high" and "fast""

Mr. Mayor

mean anything to you?

"mean anything to you?"

Mr. Mayor

You're gonna seize the Murder Hotel District

"You're gonna seize the Murder Hotel District"

Mr. Mayor

so Sebastian Felix can put up

"so Sebastian Felix can put up"

Mr. Mayor

one of his gentrifying bougie supermarkets,

"one of his gentrifying bougie supermarkets,"

Mr. Mayor

inevitably followed by shoddy highrises for yuppies

"inevitably followed by shoddy highrises for yuppies"

Mr. Mayor

while your real estate cronies laugh all the way to the bank.

"while your real estate cronies laugh all the way to the bank."

Mr. Mayor

Down with the patriarchy!

"Down with the patriarchy!"

Mr. Mayor

Housing is a right.

"Housing is a right."

Mr. Mayor

Gentrify this!

"Gentrify this!"

Mr. Mayor

- Oh, no-- - No, Arpi. Not the place.

"- Oh, no-- - No, Arpi. Not the place."

Mr. Mayor

Wrong!

"Wrong!"

Mr. Mayor

It's not highrises.

"It's not highrises."

Mr. Mayor

It's a space elevator.

"It's a space elevator."

Mr. Mayor

It's the future of space travel

"It's the future of space travel"

Mr. Mayor

and the first one's gonna be built in Los Angeles

"and the first one's gonna be built in Los Angeles"

Mr. Mayor

and I'll be the Space Mayor.

"and I'll be the Space Mayor."

Mr. Mayor

With the help of eccentric billionaire Sebastian Felix,

"With the help of eccentric billionaire Sebastian Felix,"

Mr. Mayor

I'm building a space elevator, okay?

"I'm building a space elevator, okay?"

Mr. Mayor

Alexa, turn off the living room lights!

"Alexa, turn off the living room lights!"

Mr. Mayor

Okay.

"Okay."

Mr. Mayor

- What-- - What are you doing?

"- What-- - What are you doing?"

Mr. Mayor

- It's for the game! - This is harassment.

"- It's for the game! - This is harassment."

Mr. Mayor

No! We're not at work.

"No! We're not at work."

Mr. Mayor

Alexa, turn on the living room lights!

"Alexa, turn on the living room lights!"

Mr. Mayor

- Okay. - [sputters]

"- Okay. - [sputters]"

Mr. Mayor

There's been another murder!

"There's been another murder!"

Mr. Mayor

And it could have been any of us decent townsfolk.

"And it could have been any of us decent townsfolk."

Mr. Mayor

Who among us good Christians hasn't prayed

"Who among us good Christians hasn't prayed"

Mr. Mayor

for the violent death of the town bicycle?

"for the violent death of the town bicycle?"

Mr. Mayor

Hey, Sally Slattern is a sex-positive trailblazer.

"Hey, Sally Slattern is a sex-positive trailblazer."

Mr. Mayor

both: Corpses can't talk!

"both: Corpses can't talk!"

Mr. Mayor

- [gasps] - Oh!

"- [gasps] - Oh!"

Mr. Mayor

We said the same thing!

"We said the same thing!"

Mr. Mayor

By climbing the graphene tether, the elevator will bring payloads into space

"By climbing the graphene tether, the elevator will bring payloads into space"

Mr. Mayor

$for a fraction of the cost of conventional rockets.$

"for a fraction of the cost of conventional rockets."

Mr. Mayor

A space elevator would revolutionize space exploration

"A space elevator would revolutionize space exploration"

Mr. Mayor

and research.

"and research."

Mr. Mayor

All while making a certain high school science teacher

"All while making a certain high school science teacher"

Mr. Mayor

eat his words.

"eat his words."

Mr. Mayor

Now, who knows the most about science,

"Now, who knows the most about science,"

Mr. Mayor

Dr. Wachtmeister?

"Dr. Wachtmeister?"

Mr. Mayor

Oh, my God. This is a real thing?

"Oh, my God. This is a real thing?"

Mr. Mayor

Okay!

"Okay!"

Mr. Mayor

So two people are dead and someone here is a murderer.

"So two people are dead and someone here is a murderer."

Mr. Mayor

It's the mayor. He's murdering common sense.

"It's the mayor. He's murdering common sense."

Mr. Mayor

The technology for this thing doesn't even exist.

"The technology for this thing doesn't even exist."

Mr. Mayor

See? I knew you'd try to make it sound stupid.

"See? I knew you'd try to make it sound stupid."

Mr. Mayor

"Sound"? It is stupid.

""Sound"? It is stupid."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, so this is the interrogation round.

"Okay, so this is the interrogation round."

Mr. Mayor

Who do we want to ask questions to first?

"Who do we want to ask questions to first?"

Mr. Mayor

Well, I've sure got some questions for Dr. Princeton.

"Well, I've sure got some questions for Dr. Princeton."

Mr. Mayor

Sally, you're dead.

"Sally, you're dead."

Mr. Mayor

Please shut up.

"Please shut up."

Mr. Mayor

Take this seriously, corpse.

"Take this seriously, corpse."

Mr. Mayor

$6 billion dollars.

"$6 billion dollars."

Mr. Mayor

The estimated total cost of the space elevator

"The estimated total cost of the space elevator"

Mr. Mayor

is $6 billion dollars.

"is $6 billion dollars."

Mr. Mayor

It's a moon shot, Arpi!

"It's a moon shot, Arpi!"

Mr. Mayor

A project like this creates new jobs,

"A project like this creates new jobs,"

Mr. Mayor

new revenue, new technology.

"new revenue, new technology."

Mr. Mayor

The Apollo program gave us Velcro.

"The Apollo program gave us Velcro."

Mr. Mayor

Are you telling me that you would like

"Are you telling me that you would like"

Mr. Mayor

to live in a world without Velcro?

"to live in a world without Velcro?"

Mr. Mayor

You leave my bag out of this.

"You leave my bag out of this."

Mr. Mayor

[light dramatic music]

"[light dramatic music]"

Mr. Mayor

Hey.

"Hey."

Mr. Mayor

Are you okay?

"Are you okay?"

Mr. Mayor

I don't even know why I bother.

"I don't even know why I bother."

Mr. Mayor

This party turned out 100 times worse than a real murder.

"This party turned out 100 times worse than a real murder."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, don't say that. My twin was murdered.

"Oh, don't say that. My twin was murdered."

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, and this is worse.

"Yeah, and this is worse."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, they're both bad.

"Okay, they're both bad."

Mr. Mayor

I just wanted people to have a fun time tonight.

"I just wanted people to have a fun time tonight."

Mr. Mayor

I did.

"I did."

Mr. Mayor

I had a great time.

"I had a great time."

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, of course you did.

"Yeah, of course you did."

Mr. Mayor

You're on a date with Neil Bremer.

"You're on a date with Neil Bremer."

Mr. Mayor

You probably had the best time of your life.

"You probably had the best time of your life."

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, Neil's fine.

"Yeah, Neil's fine."

Mr. Mayor

He's tall and he's so rich

"He's tall and he's so rich"

Mr. Mayor

that he throws away umbrellas when he goes inside.

"that he throws away umbrellas when he goes inside."

Mr. Mayor

Wow.

"Wow."

Mr. Mayor

But I like guys

"But I like guys"

Mr. Mayor

who don't take themselves so seriously.

"who don't take themselves so seriously."

Mr. Mayor

You're just fun.

"You're just fun."

Mr. Mayor

And I like having fun.

"And I like having fun."

Mr. Mayor

"♪"

Mr. Mayor

Also, and this is admittedly low on the list,

"Also, and this is admittedly low on the list,"

Mr. Mayor

what if someone farts on the space elevator?

"what if someone farts on the space elevator?"

Mr. Mayor

You ignore it. Elevator rules.

"You ignore it. Elevator rules."

Mr. Mayor

We're not discussing this

"We're not discussing this"

Mr. Mayor

because I've already committed the funds.

"because I've already committed the funds."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, can we just find the murderer and end this, please?

"Okay, can we just find the murderer and end this, please?"

Mr. Mayor

And where did Jayden go?

"And where did Jayden go?"

Mr. Mayor

And Adriana? - Okay.

"And Adriana? - Okay."

Mr. Mayor

You're all welcome in advance.

"You're all welcome in advance."

Mr. Mayor

Get ready to go home.

"Get ready to go home."

Mr. Mayor

The identity of the killer is obvious.

"The identity of the killer is obvious."

Mr. Mayor

Isn't that right, Dr. Eustace Princeton?

"Isn't that right, Dr. Eustace Princeton?"

Mr. Mayor

Me?

"Me?"

Mr. Mayor

I'm the murderer? How is that--

"I'm the murderer? How is that--"

Mr. Mayor

oh, there's stuff on the back.

"oh, there's stuff on the back."

Mr. Mayor

I didn't know there was a back. - Dude.

"I didn't know there was a back. - Dude."

Mr. Mayor

Don't say who the killer is if you're wrong.

"Don't say who the killer is if you're wrong."

Mr. Mayor

Who does that?

"Who does that?"

Mr. Mayor

Well, I'm not wrong about your mystery, James Aniobi.

"Well, I'm not wrong about your mystery, James Aniobi."

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, I figured it out.

"Yeah, I figured it out."

Mr. Mayor

- Figured what out? - Oh, my God.

"- Figured what out? - Oh, my God."

Mr. Mayor

What is up with you, James? You told me that you can't,

"What is up with you, James? You told me that you can't,"

Mr. Mayor

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