Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Mr. Mayor - Murder in the Old West (S02E02)

"in the brothel upstairs."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, my bio says I'm just trying to earn enough money"
Mr. Mayor
"to move to Canada."
Mr. Mayor
"What? I'm not up for those winters."
Mr. Mayor
"Good luck, prostitute."
Mr. Mayor
"The Reverend Harlan is a preacher"
Mr. Mayor
"with one hand on the good book"
Mr. Mayor
"and his other hand in the collection plate."
Mr. Mayor
"Also, he seems to be looking at his arm for some reason."
Mr. Mayor
"Which is strange because wristwatches"
Mr. Mayor
"haven't been invented yet."
Mr. Mayor
"Was I not clear about the bowl, Thomas?"
Mr. Mayor
"Thank you."
Mr. Mayor
"[clears throat]"
Mr. Mayor
"Dr. Eustace Princeton was a prominent doctor back east."
Mr. Mayor
"But why does he spend so much time in the graveyard at night?"
Mr. Mayor
"Thaddeus Cole."
Mr. Mayor
"I own the railroad."
Mr. Mayor
"I own this town."
Mr. Mayor
"They're gonna name a bunch of high schools after me"
Mr. Mayor
"until my role in the slave trade--"
Mr. Mayor
"Thank you, Mr. Cole!"
Mr. Mayor
"And you two, of course, are adult stable boy Enos Craven"
Mr. Mayor
"and his lovely wife, Colette."
Mr. Mayor
"Who knows that there's more to life than this marriage"
Mr. Mayor
"and is openly cuckolding Enos"
Mr. Mayor
"with Camarillo Jones."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm sorry. Wait, what's that?"
Mr. Mayor
"It's just you said you wanted to play the couple, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"I lost my manhood in-- in the Civil War?"
Mr. Mayor
"Is that literal or-- - It is."
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah, you visited my office and you said"
Mr. Mayor
"you were running away from the battle of Gettysburg,"
Mr. Mayor
"and it got bitten off by a dog."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay. I don't like who I am."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, what?"
Mr. Mayor
"There's been a murder!"
Mr. Mayor
"Yee-haw!"
Mr. Mayor
"[laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
"[gasps] Tumbleweed. The sheriff has been found dead on the jailhouse floor"
Mr. Mayor
"with a blood-covered hammer next to him."
Mr. Mayor
"[gasps] And one of us is the "moyderer.""
Mr. Mayor
"Each of you has a prompt on your bio card"
Mr. Mayor
"that tells you who to talk to first."
Mr. Mayor
"Alexa, play my old-timey saloon playlist."
Mr. Mayor
"Playing your old-timey saloon playlist."
Mr. Mayor
"[jaunty piano music plays] - Thank you."
Mr. Mayor
"How did you find a piano player"
Mr. Mayor
"small enough to fit in there?"
Mr. Mayor
"Are you stupid?"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, you're in character. [laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
"Before I became a realtor, I did do a bit of acting."
Mr. Mayor
"Well, I'm Camarillo Jones,"
Mr. Mayor
"and I'm a man of few words."
Mr. Mayor
"So...yep."
Mr. Mayor
"Well, Mr. Jones, I'm supposed to interview you."
Mr. Mayor
"[laughter]"
Mr. Mayor
"But why am I being so formal"
Mr. Mayor
"when you and I have made the beast with two backs?"
Mr. Mayor
"A camel?"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, Camarillo Jones,"
Mr. Mayor
"you have awakened parts in me I thought died years ago."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, this doesn't feel like part of the game."
Mr. Mayor
"Uh, sir, I'm supposed to talk to you."
Mr. Mayor
"It's getting late."
Mr. Mayor
"Should you be getting on home to your husband?"
Mr. Mayor
"What husband?"
Mr. Mayor
"[laughs dramatically]"
Mr. Mayor
"- I really don't like this. - Okay, well, then,"
Mr. Mayor
"look at your card and tell me if you did it"
Mr. Mayor
"so we can all get out of here."
Mr. Mayor
"What? Oh."
Mr. Mayor
"It just says that the night of the murder"
Mr. Mayor
"Enos was in the barn watching the pigs rut"
Mr. Mayor
"and touching his wound?"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, come on!"
Mr. Mayor
"[sighs]"
Mr. Mayor
"Wow. You look gorgeous."
Mr. Mayor
"- Uh... - No wonder you're"
Mr. Mayor
"the highest-paid hooker in town."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, yes. Thank you, Dr. Princeton."
Mr. Mayor
"It's 5¢ a night."
Mr. Mayor
"I guess, with inflation."
Mr. Mayor
"So..."
Mr. Mayor
"where were you last night when the sheriff was murdered?"
Mr. Mayor
"Okay. Um..."
Mr. Mayor
"I went straight home"
Mr. Mayor
"after buying a hammer at the general store."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, snap, did I do it? Sally is layered."
Mr. Mayor
"As a medical doctor,"
Mr. Mayor
"I'd say you do have a murderer's skull shape."
Mr. Mayor
"But the face of an angel."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh. [chuckles]"
Mr. Mayor
"Look this way."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, this way. - Sorry."
Mr. Mayor
"My three-page diarrhea memo, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, you're done with that already."
Mr. Mayor
"It wasn't easy."
Mr. Mayor
"I had to cut the whole "about the author" section."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, thank you."
Mr. Mayor
"I'll take a look at it in the morning."
Mr. Mayor
"- Why not read it now? - Arpi, I'm at a party."
Mr. Mayor
"A party where your date just pretended to get bitten"
Mr. Mayor
"by a rattlesnake so Jayden could suck the venom out."
Mr. Mayor
"It's also a party where I'm supposed to be"
Mr. Mayor
"totally illiterate."
Mr. Mayor
"So I can't read your memo."
Mr. Mayor
"Look, I get that diarrhea isn't flashy."
Mr. Mayor
"Except when there's glitter in it,"
Mr. Mayor
"which is quite common for craft store employees."
Mr. Mayor
"I don't want to be the diarrhea mayor, Arpi."
Mr. Mayor
"This money is a chance for us to do something big."
Mr. Mayor
"Forward-looking. And cool."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, my God."
Mr. Mayor
"You already know what you want to do with that money,"
Mr. Mayor
"and you're afraid to tell me."
Mr. Mayor
"That's right, because everything I want to do,"
Mr. Mayor
"you go out of your way to ruin."
Mr. Mayor
"You should be grateful"
Mr. Mayor
"I didn't let you organize a "men's march.""
Mr. Mayor
Show more clips