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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Road Trip (S10E10)

"on your whole angry negativity thing..."
Archer
"Angry what?"
Archer
"...for, like, one second,"
Archer
"you'd notice we always end up fine."
Archer
"[creature snarling]"
Archer
"♪"
Archer
"[gulping]"
Archer
"Though we may be pushing our luck at this point."
Archer
"[sighs] Christ on a cracker."
Archer
"Is this whole frickin' planet uphill?"
Archer
"[gasps] Jesus, is that a thing?"
Archer
"At least it means we're not totally lost going in circles."
Archer
"KRIEGER: Though not feeling entirely un-lost."
Archer
"We're not lost, idiots."
Archer
"I know how to work the whatchamahickey."
Archer
"Really? Because "whatchamahickey""
Archer
"doesn't inspire tons of confidence."
Archer
"It's technically a whatchamacallit."
Archer
"Or am I being too negative?"
Archer
"-When are you not? -All the time, jackass!"
Archer
"-Oh, and there's the angry part.-Look..."
Archer
"Face it, Lana. Angry'sbasically your default setting."
Archer
"-Says who? -Besides everybody?"
Archer
"-Well, not everybody. -Thank you!"
Archer
"[chuckles]: Just the people who've actually met you."
Archer
"Yeah. Possibly a few others."
Archer
"Hey, assholes."
Archer
"I'm not, like, perpetually angry."
Archer
"[laughing] Really?"
Archer
"-Yes, really. -Scale of one to ten, Lana,"
Archer
"how happy would you say you are,in general?"
Archer
"Oh, easily a six."
Archer
"A six? Then what's a seven,"
Archer
""Yay, I've got tons of cancer"?"
Archer
"Like you're any better."
Archer
"Seriously? I'm always a total nine."
Archer
"[scoffs] Please."
Archer
"I'm buoyant, Lana, bordering on bubbly."
Archer
"Listen to how I talk."
Archer
"-There's a tone. -A tone?"
Archer
"Yes, Lana, a tone."
Archer
"Notice how my sentences go up at the end?"
Archer
"Oh, yeah. You mean like, "Shut the hell up"?"
Archer
"-[beeping] -Exac-- Damn it."
Archer
"-Ow! -Ha."
Archer
"Now I'm a seven, by the way."
Archer
"[creature snarling]"
Archer
"And now I'm a two."
Archer
"[footsteps stomping]"
Archer
"So which partof the blind luck plan is this?"
Archer
"Um, I think this is the part where you sh..."
Archer
"...it!"
Archer
"Finally!"
Archer
"Some frickin' downhill."
Archer
"[thud]"
Archer
"[beeping quickens]"
Archer
"Blind luck, you are my spirit animal."
Archer
"Holy spacesnacks."
Archer
"What the hell happened?"
Archer
"Hopefully nothing a fuel cell couldn't survive."
Archer
"Yeah, otherwise, we're pretty much screwed."
Archer
"Easy, Debbie Downer."
Archer
"No one wants to go to your dark place right now."
Archer
"You know..."
Archer
"Yeah, but she's right."
Archer
"We only have enough food for a few days."
Archer
"Then what? We sit around and starve?"
Archer
"[scoffs] Please, whoever survives the culling"
Archer
"-will have plenty of food. -The what?"
Archer
"Uh, the culling?"
Archer
"You know, where people suffocatein their sleep"
Archer
"with gross, sweaty socks stuffed in their mouths"
Archer
"or get accidentally stabbed in the neck"
Archer
"while they pee or whatever?"
Archer
"-What? -The details make it weird."
Archer
"Just the details?"
Archer
"Section seven,"
Archer
"possible post-accident injuries."
Archer
"-Uh, that's "culling" with a "C," right? -Look,"
Archer
"idiots, there's got to be a fuelcell around here somewhere."
Archer
"They're basically impossible to destroy."
Archer
"Unless the pilot spills a cocktail"
Archer
"-all over the flight controls. -Yeah."
Archer
"But what are the odds their pilot was that kick-ass?"
Archer
"Perhaps better than you think."
Archer
"LANA: Holy..."
Archer
"PAM: Shitsnacks."
Archer
"Ooh. Fascinating."
Archer
"Now I'm an eight."
Archer
"LANA: How is this possible?"
Archer
"CYRIL: It-it isn't."
Archer
"This is insane."
Archer
"ARCHER: Obviously."
Archer
"I mean, who shaves off hair like this?"
Archer
"[laughs]"
Archer
"Idiot."
Archer
"LANA: Okay, there's got to be a logical explanation."
Archer
"ARCHER: Lana, there's nothing logical about shaving..."
Archer
"Not talking about your hair, dumbass."
Archer
"None of this makes any sense."
Archer
"Uh, ever consider the fact we're obviously ghosts"
Archer
"looking at our own stupid dead bodies?"
Archer
"We're not ghosts, dick nuts."
Archer
"How do you-- Ow!"
Archer
"Buy a girl a drink first."
Archer
"Jesus."
Archer
"Is anyone here familiar with multiverse theory?"
Archer
"How 'bout pretend we're not?"
Archer
"Long story short,this may be a parallel universe,"
Archer
"making these our doppelgangers."
Archer
"Doppel-what?"
Archer
"Sort of like everyone's alter egos."
Archer
"[sighs] Not everyone's."
Archer
"Yeah. Where's yours, Krieger?"
Archer
"Huh. Maybe doppel-Krieger survived."
Archer
"Yeah. And maybe he killed everybody."
Archer
"[chuckles nervously] Please,"
Archer
"why would I ever finally do that?"
Archer
"[static, trilling]"
Archer
"What the hell?"
Archer
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