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Clips from Teenage Bounty Hunters - Cleave or Whatever (S01E01)

"Yes, I know! You each get to pick an architectural structure from the Bible,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and then build a historically accurate representation"
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"to present to the class."
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"It's a chance to just dig in"
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"and get your hands dirty in that rich biblical soil, huh?"
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"And who says our school doesn't teach the Arts?"
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"[mimics flatulence] Okay. So, let's just pair off"
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"and then everybody yell out who wants what."
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"Can I do the manger?"
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"Uh, that's a kind of building, I guess. Yeah."
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"Moses' door with blood on the frame,"
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"like, dripping down, really violent."
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"Well, it should really be the whole building, Franklin."
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"Luke and I want Noah's Ark."
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"Each animal... matched with a mate..."
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"propagating the species."
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"[chuckles]"
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"Yeah. Yeah, and I bet some animals paired off and..."
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"weren't the exact same person, like an octopus and a Sterl--"
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"A squirrel!"
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"Um..."
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"A squirrel. I think that sounds like a beautiful idea."
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"I'm very excited."
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"Okay."
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"Solomon’s Temple."
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"[students gasp]"
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"That's insanity. Why do you always gotta try so hard, April?"
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"[Ellen] Oh, Franklin!"
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"Do we need to speak privately?"
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"No, Miss Johnson."
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"[Ellen] Solomon's Temple. That..."
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"hmm... is ambitious, April,"
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"but I like it and I like you."
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"We're going to need gold paint, chicken wire and spackle."
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"Also blood, I think it should be real."
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"You're gonna have to kill a pigeon."
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"[students chattering]"
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"Why aren't you writing this down?"
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"Um..."
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"Hannah B and I are actually partners."
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"-Sorry. -Sorry, it just happened."
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"But, like, before you asked. S-- So..."
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"-Oh-oh, you've got a Dorito in your hair. -It's right here."
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"Yeah."
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"It's kind of gross, yeah."
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"Fine. But you should build a biblical time machine back to now"
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"because partnering with Hannah B is a huge mistake."
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"She cites Wikipedia in her bibliographies."
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"She's never even registered her JSTOR and EBSCO Host logins."
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"We choose the cross."
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"It's technically a building Jesus lived on until he died."
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"[Ellen] Okay, let's think on that."
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"Um..."
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"I'll do Solomon's Temple with you."
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"I know all the dimensions from Miss Kline's Sunday school class."
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"Uh, "Five cubits in height and ten cubits brim to brim.""
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"I know the dimensions, too. I'm not an animal."
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"Oh, you know, of course you're not an animal,"
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"Oh, my gosh."
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"Um, but--"
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"Ooh ooh, my dad has this woodworking shop,"
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"and he paints these little wooden ducks."
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"It's so weird, but he's got"
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"a mi-- a miter saw, and a nail gun and drills."
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"-It will be so fun-- -Fine."
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"Okay... um, tomorrow maybe?"
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"-If you aren't busy, because-- -I said fine."
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"Okay."
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"[pop music playing]"
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"[Sterling, mimicking Bowser] "Get in there! Why is paper so heavy?""
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"[Blair] "Stupid piece of plastic.""
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"[Sterling, in British accent] "Oh, hello. I'm a lady dressed like a napkin.""
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""Are you from the Napkin Department?""
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""Hey there, pretty lady.""
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""Do you have any yogurt?""
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"[Blair] "You know you want it.""
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"Does Bowser have friends?"
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"No. We're it."
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"[Sterling] They're still hugging."
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"[Blair] This is pornographic."
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"[Sterling] Why is she rubbing his arms?"
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"Is he backing away? Should we go and save him?"
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"Wait. Yolanda knows her, too?"
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"Is that his ex?"
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"[gasps]"
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God."
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"-[gaps] They're looking at us. -They're coming inside. What do we say?"
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"-Hello? -Hello. Yeah, that's good. Hello."
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"Okay, great. We're saying hello."
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"-Classic, adult, neutral. -Be normal!"
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"Greetings, earthlings."
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"Bonjour!"
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"Hola!"
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"You must be Bowser's... boo."
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"-Ex-boo. -Uh, hey!"
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"Don't be... you."
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"And you must be the little gringas Yolanda told me about,"
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"bringing in new life and lighting up B's fourth chakra."
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"[chuckles lightly] Mmm."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Your soul is settled."
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"I can feel it."
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"I'm actually a pretty nervous person."
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"And you... You..."
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"[inhales deeply]"
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"-Mmm. -Okay, cool."
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"How about we get to work here?"
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"Yolanda, you got a skip?"
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"That's why I'm here."
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"Oh, you know, you go."
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"I'll stop by for dinner."
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"Oh, I've been dying to make my goulash."
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"I'm assuming you have pots, pans, homemade beef broth,"
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"noodle... No?"
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"No."
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"You know what? [clicks teeth] We'll figure it out."
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"Ciao-ee."
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"[gasps]"
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"-Oh, my God. -What is she doing here?"
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"Looking for a potential producer for her new album."
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