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Clips from Teenage Bounty Hunters - Cleave or Whatever (S01E01)

"Oh, no, no, no, no."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"No one in particular, just a hypothetical."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Advice."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-From Bowser? -Yeah."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Really? -He's right here."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Okay, thanks. -You should totally go for Chase."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I used to think that he was really boring and bad at math,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but he changed his hair part really deep left"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-and he looks so, so good. -Hm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Is that them? Is that the Durbins?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Hey hey..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Wow, see?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"If you choose Michelle,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"this is who you'll end up like,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"just a couple of junkies jonesing for their next fix."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Thank you, Dr. fucking Freud."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Is this a drug deal?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Is this, like... with drugs and stuff?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Is that what's happening right now? -Yeah."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Come on. Let's go. -[Sterling sighs]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[cocks gun]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[groans] -Last resort."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"There's a drug deal happening!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Last resort! Put it away now!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"All right. Stay behind me."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"This could get hairy."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Don't you trust us?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah. Trust us like you trust the universe."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We're professionals and adults."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"There is nothing behind that door that we cannot handle"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-What the fuck? -Nobody move!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Eww. -They're naked!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Get the fuck out of here!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah, we've got the room for the next 45 minutes."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Gary Durbin?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-No. Why is it purple? -Oh, god."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[Bowser] You're under arrest."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'm a bail enforcement officer."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Move away from the human pyramid here. -[Blair] Sorry, guys."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay. Don't everybody move!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[both scream] -Cold!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What the fuck? Get down!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[Blair] Are you okay? -[Sterling] Yeah!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Stupid bitches!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[screams] -Sterl! Watch out, Bowser!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[groans] -Get out of here, Gary!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Go! Go! Go!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-He's naked! -And fast!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Watch out!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Whoa!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Ow! -Are you okay?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[Bowser] He's getting away! Sterl! Last resort!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Shoot him? -No! Shoot the lights!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[gasps]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[groans]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah! Yeah!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah, that's my girl."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[Sterling] Don't roll!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Sir, your front stuff!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[groans]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Um, sir? I'm going to cuff you now."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Put your hands where we can--"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[screams] Okay, I'm gonna... I'm gonna cuff-- I'm gonna cuff your feet."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Are you kiddin' me, Gary? Amphetamines?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What did I tell you about what we share?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Share if there's blood in your poop."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And share if you've committed a crime!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Did you ever sell to Edwards?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Because he is six months sober and I swear to God, Gary--"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I didn't sell to Edwards."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And I don't have blood in my poop."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-It's black. -Your poop is black?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Shit, Gary! That's blood!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay, he could have eaten an Oreo."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-We have to get him to a doctor. -Not on my watch, friends."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Can you open the door for me?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Okay. -Come on, black poop, let's go."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[Jocelyn] He never listened to me. Anything I said."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"So... y'all three are in a relationship?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"How can you tell?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"How did that happen?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Did she approach you or...?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I met Tina at a bar."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We talked about it and then we took it for a spin."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But what did you say?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"How did y'all broach the subject?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[scoffs] Well-- -I've got this friend"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and she doesn't know that I like her,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and we're religious so I don't know what to say"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"or if she's going to tell my parents,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"or my teachers,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"or the pastor, who loves married people having sex"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but not non-married women having sex with other women."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Not that I'm a lesbian. I like penises, too, right?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"That's your call, honey."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Right."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Listen, either way, I have to tell her soon"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"because if keep it inside any longer,  I'm gonna die."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Well, look."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I think you should just start slow."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Throw out the bait, see if she bites, and go from there."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You really think that'll work?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"My husband's going to jail with glass in his feet."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I don't fucking know."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Language."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[clears throat]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Thank you!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[Bowser] Sterling! Let's go!"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yep."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Well, I think we'll get points for style and accuracy."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Your lamb looks like it's bleeding out."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Is it too much? -No."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We make a really good team."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I guess so."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You're less..."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"blinky in your own home."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And you did what I told you to, which felt good."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I aim to please."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Noted."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You know who's also a really good team?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
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