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Clips from Arrested Development - Pilot (S01E01)

"-The S.E.C.? -They have boats?"
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"Give me a cell phone. Give me a cell phone."
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"Lindsay, Buster, up to the bridge! Come on, Buster! Almighty good grief!"
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"Delores, listen to me. Empty the account."
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"-Out of my way! -Why are you crying? Why are you crying?"
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"Out of my way!Out! Out! Out!"
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"Lindsay, take the wheel! Buster, find us a channel to the ocean!"
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"Gee, I don’t have any mapping equipment with me."
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"You’ve had $80,000 worth of cartography lessons. Get us a channel to the ocean!"
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"Okay. Okay. Okay."
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"Can you hear me now?"
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"- Obviously this blue part here is the land. That would mean— -Oh, Buster, Buster. You’ll be all right."
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"Shredder. No. Save it. Save it. Shredder."
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"Please don’t leave us now, Buster! Please!"
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"-Get in the tomb. The Aztec Tomb. -Save it. Shred it."
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"Hold on. I don’t have time for your magic tricks."
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"Illusions, Dad! You don’t have time for my illusions!"
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"What is wrong with you? Why are you so angry?"
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"Look.Just stay in the box. I’ll make you disappear."
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"The Bluth family dominated the news that night."
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"Southern California is the home of the high-speed freeway chase..."
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"but tonight’s flee from justice was on the sea and slow as molasses."
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"Bluth Development Company President George Bluth... was arrested tonight for defrauding investors..."
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"and using the company as his personal piggy bank."
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"More intrigue on the high seas tonight..."
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"as dozens of local pirates were arrested..."
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"for protesting the yacht club’s discriminatory policies."
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"Even Michael's brother, G.O.B., made the news."
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"It was Mr. Bluth’s son “Gob,” a part-time magician..."
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"who hid his father here in the Aztec Tomb."
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"By pushing on this pivoting panel..."
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"Mr. Bluth was able to hide in this airless chamber—"
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"I have to think the Alliance is gonna frown on this."
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"Perhaps a good trick for a human..."
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"but the dogs found him almost instantly."
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"-Free at last, darlings. -I’m all right."
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"-Thank God."
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"Oh, what an adventure. Oh, my goodness!"
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"Buster! Don’t do that."
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"What an adventure, gang."
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"I thought that the homosexuals were pirates..."
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"but it turns out that most of them were actors in the local theater."
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"You’re right though. It is amazing."
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"I’ve been waiting for the universe to provide a path for me, and—"
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"and I think it has."
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"-You’re gay? -No. No."
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"I’m not— I’m not gay. No. Lindsay, how many times must we have this—"
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"No. I want to be an actor."
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"Okay, guys. Um, they are gonna keep Dad in prison..."
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"at least until this gets all sorted out."
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"Also, the attorney said they’re gonna have to put a halt on the company’s expense account."
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"Interesting. I would have expected that after the “keeping Dad in jail.”"
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"The first thing I need you guys to do is to cut up your company credit cards."
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"What about the miles?"
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"You know, Michael, Dad did name Mom as his successor."
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"-And I’m putting Buster in charge. -That’s a good choice."
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"Buster? The guy who thought that the blue on the map was land?"
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"He’s had business classes."
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"Wa-Wa-Wa-Wait. Eighteenth-century agrarian business."
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"But I guess it’s all the same principles."
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"Lemme ask you: Are you at all concerned about an uprising?"
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"You wanna know what? That’s it. I’m done. I’m sick and tired of the greed"
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"and the selfishness and all the taking."
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"Forget it. I’ve got a son to think about."
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"Lindsay, by the way, I expected this from them"
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"because they’re completely oblivious."
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"But you— you should know better. Come on."
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"I think he’s really mad at you."
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"Somebody is a rude Gus. That’s all."
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"In the days that followed, the Bluths’ assets were frozen."
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"There’s no more room in the suitcase."
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"-Glasses. Where are my glasses? -On your face"
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"Lindsay had no choice ..."
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"- but to check her family out of the hotel earlier than planned. - What are we doing with this? What is happening with this?"
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"And her husband started looking for work."
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"My name is Dr. Tobias Fünke."
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"I was Chief Resident of Psychiatry at Mass General for two years..."
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"and I did my fellowship in psycholinguistics at M.I.T."
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"And this is “I’m a Bad, Bad Man” from Annie Get Your Gun."
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"Lucille was finding it difficult to go about her daily life."
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"The S.E.C. is making him out to be some kind of mastermind, which— believe me— he’s not."
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"The man can barely work our shredder."
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"Michael was able to secure a job with a rival housing company almost immediately."
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"Plus, there are perks. We’ll set you up in Arizona in one of our finest estates."
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"Attic or main house?"
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"And Buster was discovering his academic pursuits..."
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"didn’t fully prepare him for his new responsibilities."
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"Have you looked at the latest figures on the Sudden Valley expansion..."
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"-vis-à-vis the development versus the tax— -Amazing. You guys are so smart."
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"-Two percent per annum. This is a non-recoupable— -We need Michael."
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"We need ice."
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"Michael. We need Michael."
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"Well, how do we do that now?"
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"Perhaps... an intervention."
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"So what we’d like to do here is just go around the room... and have everyone talk a little about Michael."
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"Things we don’t like about him or how he annoys us... or maybe just something he does that rubs us the wrong way."
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"Jump right in."
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"- There’s no right or wrong answer. - I think that’s a great idea."
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"Wait. Hold on one second. What exactly is this intervention for?"
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"We need you to come back and run the business."
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"Okay. So technically it’s not really an intervention. It’s more of an imposition."
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"Whatever you want to call it."
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"I’d love to call it an imposition."
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"We’re in trouble here, Michael."
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"And I can’t perform my magic. I’m getting blackballed from even the smaller venues."
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"Well, it’s come down to the two of you. I’ll be honest."
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"I’m just more comfortable with an Alliance-approved magician..."
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"Give ’em a hell of a show, champ."
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"Fuck off, traitor."
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"I thought Buster had everything under control. I thought you’d been going to the office."
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"Yes, and I’ve enjoyed that. It was just I was constantly being called to the phone..."
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"or I was asked a question or I was resuscitated. It was really hard to get a good work flow going."
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"Can you believe this? They’re still fighting."
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"Yeah, I know. I’m tempted to kiss again so we could teach ’em a lesson."
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"Why would that teach them a lesson?"
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"No, I mean, uh, to freak them out."
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"That doesn’t make any sense."
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"Isn’t that what makes it funny? I’m laughing. Go fish— Uno— Okay. I just need a drink."
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"Well, I’m sorry. It’s just too late. I’m moving to Phoenix. I got a job."
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"Something you apply for, and then they pay you to, uh—"
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