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Clips from Weeds - Where the Sidewalk Ends (S05E05)

"But I don't have $5000, so--"
Weeds
"And you're gonna let a little thing like that stand in your way?"
Weeds
"Well, no. No way."
Weeds
"No way, cowgirl."
Weeds
"You're Pretty! will front you, on credit, all the products that you need..."
Weeds
"...to put yourself on the road to financial freedom."
Weeds
"Are you ready to ride?"
Weeds
"I said, are you ready to ride?"
Weeds
"-Celia? -Yes."
Weeds
"-Are your nipples hard? -Yes."
Weeds
"But I had reconstructive surgery because of a double mastectomy..."
Weeds
"...so they're always kind of like that."
Weeds
"Okay. Let's get started."
Weeds
"-Whatever you need. -Okay."
Weeds
"That's your fourth THC cone today. You're costing us money."
Weeds
"Double scoop of Cripple Ripple Fudge."
Weeds
"Keep the change."
Weeds
"I think I might actually be addicted to sugar."
Weeds
"Man, I love it here."
Weeds
"This is everything I ever wanted. Shelves filled with drugs."
Weeds
"Cold, creamy treats flavored with drugs."
Weeds
"Beautiful girls in bikinis coming in, asking me for drugs."
Weeds
"-Are you crying? -Don't look."
Weeds
"Gentlemen."
Weeds
"Waking up in my car with a searing headache..."
Weeds
"...unable to move for some time without blinding pain..."
Weeds
"...gave me some time to think."
Weeds
"You all were right."
Weeds
"Having the heat lurking around a pot club, bad for business."
Weeds
"So from now on, when I come in, I come in my civvies. Make sense?"
Weeds
"Do you know this guy?"
Weeds
"How high are you?"
Weeds
"So that was my apology. Now it's time for yours."
Weeds
"We're sorry you got hurt."
Weeds
"So you do know this guy."
Weeds
"Well, sorry means a lot."
Weeds
"You know what also means a lot, partner?"
Weeds
"-Ten grand. -Ten grand?"
Weeds
"Today."
Weeds
"Assault on a police officer is a felony."
Weeds
"Minimum sentence, eight years of daily ass rape."
Weeds
"Assault? Really?"
Weeds
"I'll be back this afternoon for the money."
Weeds
"Wow, this is some potent shit."
Weeds
"I'm seeing storm troopers."
Weeds
"-Oh, man. -It's Comic-Con, you idiot."
Weeds
"Leave it."
Weeds
"I told you. I told you something would happen to Esteban."
Weeds
"What--? What, he get shot? Beheaded?"
Weeds
"I hear they're doing that now. They're chopping heads off."
Weeds
"So are there photographs? Can I see them?"
Weeds
"-Where did you park? -Out front."
Weeds
"We gotta go."
Weeds
"-What? To identify the body? -No."
Weeds
"To Doctor Lehman's. I have to have this baby right now."
Weeds
"What about Esteban's body?"
Weeds
"No. No, Andy, Esteban's fine. The call was bullshit to get you here."
Weeds
"-He's not dead. Nothing happened. -No beheading?"
Weeds
"-No beheading. No. -You lied to me? I was all excited."
Weeds
"They built a goddamn birthing room."
Weeds
"They want me to have this baby totally off the grid."
Weeds
"No birth certificate. If I disappear, if the baby disappears..."
Weeds
"...nobody knows. It's fucking Rosemary's Baby."
Weeds
"No. I'm through bailing your ass out."
Weeds
"You're no longer my responsibility."
Weeds
"You're the responsibility of the unbeheaded..."
Weeds
"...corrupt, drug-dealing politician that you've chosen to marry."
Weeds
"Andy, I'm not fucking around here."
Weeds
"I'm trying to get over you and your drama."
Weeds
"This could set me back weeks in the healing process."
Weeds
"You cannot suck me back into your web."
Weeds
"No, you're right, I can't suck you into it. How about a hand job?"
Weeds
"Jesus, get off."
Weeds
"I don't want your pregnant pity hand job."
Weeds
"Christ, that's just sad."
Weeds
"Fine, I'll-- I'll take you."
Weeds
"But this is it. The last time. I really mean it."
Weeds
"Not like the last time I said I meant it."
Weeds
"I want a rain check when you're not with child."
Weeds
"-Pull your car at the gate. Wait there. -Okay. Hey."
Weeds
"Were you gonna jerk me off?"
Weeds
"That or squeeze your balls until you gave me your car keys."
Weeds
"I miss Yael."
Weeds
"Before."
Weeds
"And after."
Weeds
"With the help of You're Pretty! Cosmetics..."
Weeds
"...I have just transformed this plain-faced little girl..."
Weeds
"...into a glamorous woman ready to meet the man of her dreams."
Weeds
"I like girls."
Weeds
"Play along."
Weeds
"And don't forget, I'm giving a 10 percent discount..."
Weeds
"...to all of my colleagues from Surfside Mall."
Weeds
"I gotta hit it. If I'm even 10 minutes late..."
Weeds
"...they put me on squeeze duty all day."
Weeds
"No problem. Just tell me what you need."
Weeds
"Lady, I got four kids, no husband. I make $8 an hour."
Weeds
"If you think I got extra cash for some overpriced eye shadow..."
Weeds
"-...you're crazy. -Then why are you here?"
Weeds
"You promised free samples."
Weeds
"With purchase. You didn't read the fine print."
Weeds
"There's no fine print. This is bullshit!"
Weeds
"-I want my free sample. -Me too."
Weeds
"Well, doesn't anybody wanna buy anything?"
Weeds
"Free samples! Free samples!"
Weeds
"Okay, fine. Fine."
Weeds
"You know what? Just kill me now. Kill me."
Weeds
"Have a great fucking day. Rob me blind. Grubby."
Weeds
"Grubby grubber. You know what?"
Weeds
"Why don't you just stay blotchy and unattractive. Bitch."
Weeds
"I hope you're happy."
Weeds
"Huskeroo, Huskeroo You're beautiful in"
Weeds
"--all the things you do."
Weeds
"You're not so bad yourself."
Weeds
"-I'm Isabelle. -Danielle."
Weeds
"And I think you'd look better without all that crap on your face."
Weeds
"There goes the dyke market."
Weeds
"Are you joking?"
Weeds
"It's General Lee. From The Dukes of Hazzard."
Weeds
"I know. I was 12 years old once. Why are you driving it?"
Weeds
"I bought it from some laid-off mortgage broker in Torrance."
Weeds
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