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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Venus on the Moon (S02E02)

I ordered chicken nuggets, fries, and ranch dressing!

"I ordered chicken nuggets, fries, and ranch dressing!"

Mr. Mayor

This, this hot vegetable mess? I don't even know what this is.

"This, this hot vegetable mess? I don't even know what this is."

Mr. Mayor

Well, it's ratatouille, I thought that--

"Well, it's ratatouille, I thought that--"

Mr. Mayor

It is?

"It is?"

Mr. Mayor

Oh, so you ruined my lunch and my favorite movie?

"Oh, so you ruined my lunch and my favorite movie?"

Mr. Mayor

You are a witch!

"You are a witch!"

Mr. Mayor

Okay, wait, please don't be mad at me.

"Okay, wait, please don't be mad at me."

Mr. Mayor

I--I can make you a coffee--

"I--I can make you a coffee--"

Mr. Mayor

You made that horrible coffee on purpose, you banshee?

"You made that horrible coffee on purpose, you banshee?"

Mr. Mayor

- Wait, did I do it wrong? - No!

"- Wait, did I do it wrong? - No!"

Mr. Mayor

Your coffee is great. It's a drink and a meal.

"Your coffee is great. It's a drink and a meal."

Mr. Mayor

Mmm. - Of course I did it wrong.

"Mmm. - Of course I did it wrong."

Mr. Mayor

Because I don't know how to do anything.

"Because I don't know how to do anything."

Mr. Mayor

But you kept telling me "good job."

"But you kept telling me "good job.""

Mr. Mayor

Because my father told you to!

"Because my father told you to!"

Mr. Mayor

[sighs]

"[sighs]"

Mr. Mayor

I'm sorry that I lost my temper.

"I'm sorry that I lost my temper."

Mr. Mayor

It's just that I haven't eaten in like, one hours.

"It's just that I haven't eaten in like, one hours."

Mr. Mayor

Thanks to you, I never learned how to do anything!

"Thanks to you, I never learned how to do anything!"

Mr. Mayor

You know, when mom was my age, she was modeling in Tokyo,

"You know, when mom was my age, she was modeling in Tokyo,"

Mr. Mayor

and doing bottle service at a yakuza-owned night club.

"and doing bottle service at a yakuza-owned night club."

Mr. Mayor

So I think she would've let me go get a job

"So I think she would've let me go get a job"

Mr. Mayor

at a crappy restaurant or something,

"at a crappy restaurant or something,"

Mr. Mayor

so I would know how to make a stupid pot of coffee!

"so I would know how to make a stupid pot of coffee!"

Mr. Mayor

Actually, young lady,

"Actually, young lady,"

Mr. Mayor

she's the reason you're completely helpless.

"she's the reason you're completely helpless."

Mr. Mayor

Wow, blaming mom! That is pathetic!

"Wow, blaming mom! That is pathetic!"

Mr. Mayor

Look, mom didn't want you to have to go through

"Look, mom didn't want you to have to go through"

Mr. Mayor

all the crap that she did.

"all the crap that she did."

Mr. Mayor

You know where she learned how to make coffee?

"You know where she learned how to make coffee?"

Mr. Mayor

"Working at an off-brand Hooters called PJ Bazoingies!"

Mr. Mayor

I wanted you to go to public school

"I wanted you to go to public school"

Mr. Mayor

and see what the real world was like.

"and see what the real world was like."

Mr. Mayor

But your mother said, "It's different for girls."

"But your mother said, "It's different for girls.""

Mr. Mayor

And then she died.

"And then she died."

Mr. Mayor

And what am I supposed to do with that?

"And what am I supposed to do with that?"

Mr. Mayor

I've just tried my best to make decisions she'd be happy with.

"I've just tried my best to make decisions she'd be happy with."

Mr. Mayor

I mean, you're not the only one she left videos for.

"I mean, you're not the only one she left videos for."

Mr. Mayor

Do not let our daughter have a job

"Do not let our daughter have a job"

Mr. Mayor

that requires a name tag,

"that requires a name tag,"

Mr. Mayor

or go to college in Florida.

"or go to college in Florida."

Mr. Mayor

Now, to make sure you keep watching this,

"Now, to make sure you keep watching this,"

Mr. Mayor

I will do a little dance,

"I will do a little dance,"

Mr. Mayor

in my old PJ Bazoingies uniform!

"in my old PJ Bazoingies uniform!"

Mr. Mayor

No tattoos, no non-ear piercings,

"No tattoos, no non-ear piercings,"

Mr. Mayor

Don't let her take French.

"Don't let her take French."

Mr. Mayor

Spanish is much more practical.

"Spanish is much more practical."

Mr. Mayor

How could I deny her wishes?

"How could I deny her wishes?"

Mr. Mayor

You know, having a perfect dead mom

"You know, having a perfect dead mom"

Mr. Mayor

isn't easy for me either.

"isn't easy for me either."

Mr. Mayor

She was so beautiful and smart. Ugh, and her airport style.

"She was so beautiful and smart. Ugh, and her airport style."

Mr. Mayor

Effortless, straight from the plane to dinner.

"Effortless, straight from the plane to dinner."

Mr. Mayor

The key is a bold lip before landing.

"The key is a bold lip before landing."

Mr. Mayor

Your mom was beautiful, and she was kind.

"Your mom was beautiful, and she was kind."

Mr. Mayor

But those videos are not the whole picture.

"But those videos are not the whole picture."

Mr. Mayor

She was a human being, and believe me,

"She was a human being, and believe me,"

Mr. Mayor

if she were alive,

"if she were alive,"

Mr. Mayor

you would yell at her just as much as you yell at me.

"you would yell at her just as much as you yell at me."

Mr. Mayor

I wish I could.

"I wish I could."

Mr. Mayor

I'm pretty sure yelling at your mom

"I'm pretty sure yelling at your mom"

Mr. Mayor

is a part of growing up.

"is a part of growing up."

Mr. Mayor

If she were here now, I'd be like,

"If she were here now, I'd be like,"

Mr. Mayor

"You never even finished high school!"

""You never even finished high school!""

Mr. Mayor

and then call her a bitch,

"and then call her a bitch,"

Mr. Mayor

and slam my door, and then feel bad about it all night.

"and slam my door, and then feel bad about it all night."

Mr. Mayor

And I would tell Natalie, "I'll talk to her."

"And I would tell Natalie, "I'll talk to her.""

Mr. Mayor

We'd go out for ice cream,

"We'd go out for ice cream,"

Mr. Mayor

and bond over how unreasonable your mom was being.

"and bond over how unreasonable your mom was being."

Mr. Mayor

Not fair. These are peak daddy years.

"Not fair. These are peak daddy years."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, wait a minute. [chuckles]

"Oh, wait a minute. [chuckles]"

Mr. Mayor

I'll be right back.

"I'll be right back."

Mr. Mayor

[door opens]

"[door opens]"

Mr. Mayor

Hey, I'm sorry your dad made me lie to you.

"Hey, I'm sorry your dad made me lie to you."

Mr. Mayor

If it were up to me, I'd always tell you how terrible you are.

"If it were up to me, I'd always tell you how terrible you are."

Mr. Mayor

Thanks, Tommy. That means a lot.

"Thanks, Tommy. That means a lot."

Mr. Mayor

to its perfect form: an agricultural matriarchy!

"to its perfect form: an agricultural matriarchy!"

Mr. Mayor

High-speed internet.

"High-speed internet."

Mr. Mayor

I'll be able to do my homework at home!

"I'll be able to do my homework at home!"

Mr. Mayor

And people will stop watching porn at McDonald's!

"And people will stop watching porn at McDonald's!"

Mr. Mayor

This ordinance 462 is huge, kids.

"This ordinance 462 is huge, kids."

Mr. Mayor

As soon as we can get it voted on, the mayor will sign it,

"As soon as we can get it voted on, the mayor will sign it,"

Mr. Mayor

and we will have successfully earmarked monies

"and we will have successfully earmarked monies"

Mr. Mayor

for the next fiscal year!

"for the next fiscal year!"

Mr. Mayor

That earmark will allow us to form a committee

"That earmark will allow us to form a committee"

Mr. Mayor

to assess viability,

"to assess viability,"

Mr. Mayor

while internet service providers prepare bids

"while internet service providers prepare bids"

Mr. Mayor

for no later than calendar year 2025!

"for no later than calendar year 2025!"

Mr. Mayor

Hot dog!

"Hot dog!"

Mr. Mayor

Wait, so we're not getting internet, like, tomorrow?

"Wait, so we're not getting internet, like, tomorrow?"

Mr. Mayor

No.

"No."

Mr. Mayor

But monies will be earmarked.

"But monies will be earmarked."

Mr. Mayor

Well, this sucks.

"Well, this sucks."

Mr. Mayor

It would've been faster to convince

"It would've been faster to convince"

Mr. Mayor

a billionaire to pay for it. - Whoa.

"a billionaire to pay for it. - Whoa."

Mr. Mayor

Privatization of social services--

"Privatization of social services--"

Mr. Mayor

capitalist nightmare!

"capitalist nightmare!"

Mr. Mayor

You want an ambulance that only picks you up

"You want an ambulance that only picks you up"

Mr. Mayor

if you drink Pepsi?

"if you drink Pepsi?"

Mr. Mayor

The battle is hard,

"The battle is hard,"

Mr. Mayor

but at least I'm fighting the establishment.

"but at least I'm fighting the establishment."

Mr. Mayor

Arpi, you are the establishment.

"Arpi, you are the establishment."

Mr. Mayor

[muffled] Oh, sir, can I talk to you for a second?

"[muffled] Oh, sir, can I talk to you for a second?"

Mr. Mayor

You okay?

"You okay?"

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, sir, I make a lot of sacrifices

"Yeah, sir, I make a lot of sacrifices"

Mr. Mayor

to be good at my job, and I promise you

"to be good at my job, and I promise you"

Mr. Mayor

I am trying as hard as I can.

"I am trying as hard as I can."

Mr. Mayor

Me too.

"Me too."

Mr. Mayor

And you can't worry if people judge your decisions,

"And you can't worry if people judge your decisions,"

Mr. Mayor

because they're not in your shoes.

"because they're not in your shoes."

Mr. Mayor

Preaching to the choir.

"Preaching to the choir."

Mr. Mayor

So I need to carve out a little time for self-care.

"So I need to carve out a little time for self-care."

Mr. Mayor

Of course, whatever you need.

"Of course, whatever you need."

Mr. Mayor

Three hours every Sunday morning.

"Three hours every Sunday morning."

Mr. Mayor

You can have 30 minutes.

"You can have 30 minutes."

Mr. Mayor

Deal!

"Deal!"

Mr. Mayor

Vote Meskimen in '86,

"Vote Meskimen in '86,"

Mr. Mayor

and I promise a free payphone on every street corner,

"and I promise a free payphone on every street corner,"

Mr. Mayor

and zero NFL teams in this great city!

"and zero NFL teams in this great city!"

Mr. Mayor

My God. Those kids were right.

"My God. Those kids were right."

Mr. Mayor

I have lost the fire.

"I have lost the fire."

Mr. Mayor

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