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Clips from Central Park - The Shadow (S02E02)

"Listen, call the mayor."
Central Park
"Tell him to assign better-looking"
Central Park
"and non-bad-smelling police officers to this, now."
Central Park
"- He can hear you. - What? No."
Central Park
"Nothing can penetrate the cloud of gas that clings to him."
Central Park
"- I can hear you. - Ms. Brandenham, I'm glad you came by."
Central Park
"This theft, I can't help noticing the similarities to the Shadow thefts."
Central Park
"To the-- To the Shadow thefts?"
Central Park
"Son of a-- Nope. Nuh-uh. Do not say that word to me."
Central Park
"- What? Shadow? - [yells]"
Central Park
"- Shadow. - [shushes, spits]"
Central Park
"- Shadow. - [groans] The Shadow never existed."
Central Park
"He was an invention of the press."
Central Park
"Something for New York to gossip about, and horny teens around the campfire."
Central Park
"- What? - Who is the Shadow?"
Central Park
"You remember. It was in every damn paper, like, 60 years ago."
Central Park
"- You must've read about it. - Uh, no. How old do you think I am?"
Central Park
"I honestly don't know. Somewhere between 40 and 90."
Central Park
"It was 56 years ago. Absolutely fascinating."
Central Park
"- [mocking, gibberish] - I was just a kid."
Central Park
"- Mm-hmm. - Had a full head of hair."
Central Park
"I could pull off almost any look back then."
Central Park
"- [Helen] Uh-huh. - I had long hair before I joined the cops,"
Central Park
"but then I had a crew cut and I liked that too."
Central Park
"- [Helen] Yeah. Got it. - [Hank] Right."
Central Park
"First the Shadow hit the Brandenham."
Central Park
"Then he hit another luxury hotel. Then another, and another--"
Central Park
"[Helen] Right, he hit luxury hotels."
Central Park
"[Hank] Robberies in rooms on the highest floors."
Central Park
"In rooms with extra security. In rooms with a Jacuzzi."
Central Park
"No one was ever prosecuted. No one was ever caught."
Central Park
"The first night, all I had to do was guard the door,"
Central Park
"keep the reporters and the lookie-loos out."
Central Park
"But it was so exciting to watch the detectives work."
Central Park
"I would've worked a double shift if I coulda."
Central Park
"- [Bitsy] Nerd. - Later, I followed the story"
Central Park
"in the papers like everyone else."
Central Park
"Things really got interesting when they found the calling card."
Central Park
"- [Helen] Calling card? - [Hank] Yeah."
Central Park
"Some thieves leave something behind as kind of a signature."
Central Park
"At first, we didn't know there was a card with the Shadow,"
Central Park
"but that's because he carefully hid it in the room."
Central Park
"You had to look hard, had to get lucky."
Central Park
"- So what was it? - A crumpled-up wrapper"
Central Park
"from one of those little chocolates that the hotel leaves on your pillow."
Central Park
"I mean, isn't that just trash?"
Central Park
"It was in a shape. Kind of like a little sculpture."
Central Park
"- What was the shape? - A penis."
Central Park
"- [grunts] - With testicles. It was crude."
Central Park
"- The penis or the testicles? - Both."
Central Park
"But you could make it out all right if you look closely."
Central Park
"Oh, please. This is ridiculous."
Central Park
"You found some crap on the floor, and you saw what you wanted to see."
Central Park
"Some sort of perv-igami."
Central Park
"I actually thought it was funny."
Central Park
"And hiding them like that, taunting the police,"
Central Park
"it was kind of clever."
Central Park
"Enough already. Just stop."
Central Park
"What? Don't you want to catch the Shadow after all these years?"
Central Park
"This has nothing to do with the Shadow."
Central Park
"The story of the Shadow nearly destroyed this place."
Central Park
"It took 20 years to build back our reputation after that."
Central Park
"We had to host a pet rock convention."
Central Park
"I had to walk around telling people how cute their rocks were."
Central Park
"Dear lord."
Central Park
"You're not a real detective, Mr. Zevansky."
Central Park
"Why don't you go home and watch"
Central Park
"CSI: Special Insurance Victims Unit or something?"
Central Park
"You know, it's a half-a-million-dollar claim."
Central Park
"My employer doesn't like to write checks that large"
Central Park
"until I've been down on my hands and knees and crawled all over the place."
Central Park
"- [groans] I know the feeling. - All right. So here we go."
Central Park
"Oh, boy. Easy does it."
Central Park
"Oh, just another ten minutes, I'll be down."
Central Park
"Oh, my God. You're not still here."
Central Park
"Please tell me you died, and you're just a depressing ghost."
Central Park
"Sorry. I'm just being thorough."
Central Park
"I can't stop thinking about the similarities between this one and the--"
Central Park
"- Don't say it. - Okay."
Central Park
"- Where's Salmon Rushdie? - Shift change."
Central Park
"Next one must be on their way."
Central Park
"Hmm. I would love to sell some rooms on this floor again."
Central Park
"You know, like a hotel does."
Central Park
"Think we might be finally moving into the homestretch"
Central Park
"of this very long, very annoying whatever-you're-doing?"
Central Park
"What are you even looking for?"
Central Park
"Honestly, you know, I'm looking for--"
Central Park
"Ah! Oh, no. Don't say it."
Central Park
"- Penis. - You said it."
Central Park
"It's just so many similarities."
Central Park
"- Look at the safe. - Meaning?"
Central Park
"I'm 99% sure the thief used a default security bypass."
Central Park
"Well, dum-dum, guests are supposed to punch in their own stupid code."
Central Park
"But it's the hotel's responsibility to reset the default bypass,"
Central Park
"blah, blah, blah. [raspberry]"
Central Park
"Hey, hey, I know how it is. You run a busy hotel."
Central Park
"There's furniture to wash, pillows to make--"
Central Park
"- I-- I don't know how it works. - Not like that."
Central Park
"Let me take a shot at this default security code."
Central Park
"I'm gonna bet it's some basic number like 1-1-1-1."
Central Park
"Try again, genius."
Central Park
"[Hank] Zero, zero, zero, zero."
Central Park
"- Oh, crap. - See?"
Central Park
"And that's exactly what the Shadow did too."
Central Park
"- Ugh. - Also, our thief appears"
Central Park
"to have used a passkey on the door, same as the Shadow."
Central Park
"Are you seriously proposing that this thief is, in some way,"
Central Park
"the same person who committed crimes 56 years ago?"
Central Park
"Yes. And then there's the whole MO."
Central Park
"Who sneaks into a room where the guest is sleeping anymore?"
Central Park
"No one. It's high risk."
Central Park
"Junkies, daredevils and Santa Claus, right?"
Central Park
"- And the Shadow. - [groans] Stop. This is irresponsible."
Central Park
"What do you want to do, ruin this business all over again?"
Central Park
"Do you know what the papers would do with this?"
Central Park
"Those vultures would be picking our bones."
Central Park
"I just know it's here. I bet you a nickel."
Central Park
"I'm gonna find that little penis and you're gonna owe me a nickel."
Central Park
"There's no penis! This isn't the Shadow, you nincompoop!"
Central Park
"- Huh? How do you know? - Because I was the Shadow!"
Central Park
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