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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Crystal Mess (S12E12)

"Big things are happening, Tina."
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"I'm asking Cassie out on a third date."
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"What do you think of this?"
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""Want to come over for dinner tonight?"
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""I make a mean casserole."
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""Or in your case, a Cassie‐role."
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""LOL. I told you I can be funny sometimes."
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"Anyway, this is Phillip Frond.""
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"Um... Perfect?"
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"Great. Adding a heart, heart, heart, heart,"
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"heart and send."
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"You got this, Zeke."
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"There's my partner!"
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"‐Don't talk! ‐What are you guys doing?"
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"Zeke is trying to break his record"
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"for how long he can hold up a pencil with his lip."
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"‐(straining) ‐You know, I never think"
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"school's gonna be interesting"
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"and then something like this happens."
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"Oh, my gosh, Zeke, three more seconds."
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"Two. One."
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"New record!"
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"I'm the holding up a pencil with my lip champ!"
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"I think you can quit school now."
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"Hey! I bet it was because Tina was here."
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"‐With the crystal. ‐Oh, yeah."
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"Hey, Tina, can I borrow the crystal for PE today?"
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"We're running hurdles and I want to clear all of them."
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"So I don't hit my penis like last time."
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"Uh... No. Mr. Frond trusted me with it"
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"and I don't think I should lend it out."
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"Hey, I wasn't holding the crystal"
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"when I broke my lip pencil record."
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"Tina was just standing near me."
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"Maybe if she's just there,"
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"you won't hit your poor penis."
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"Oh, yeah. Tina, could you do that?"
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"‐Sure. I guess. ‐Great, let's go."
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"Huh. They think Tina and her crystal have powers."
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"That rock could make us some paper."
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"And maybe some money, too."
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"Oh, sir! Don't forget your free fruit or vegetable."
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"‐What? ‐Yeah, one with every meal."
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"‐Take it! ‐Oh..."
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"I think I'm just gonna go?"
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"Sorry, Linda. His loss."
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"Yeah. You want it, Mort?"
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"Uh..."
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"‐Here's your burger, Teddy. ‐Oh, thanks."
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"Whoa. What's that? What's happening?"
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"Uh, we're trying out a new thing."
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"A side salad is included with your meal."
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"Eh, no thanks. It looks weird."
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"It doesn't matter what it looks like, Teddy."
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"Close your eyes and eat it."
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"Bob, I know what you're doing."
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"You're trying to get rid of your weird vegetables."
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"I'm not a garbage disposal."
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"You kind of are. You ate that lemon rind that time."
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"Oh, this again?"
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"You put a lemon wedge on my plate."
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"What do you think a guy's gonna do?"
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"At least it was a normal‐looking lemon."
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"Bob, let's face it."
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"Even with the salads and the free ugly food bowl,"
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"we're not gonna get through all this stuff before it goes bad."
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"I think we might have to throw out the food"
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"we didn't want anyone to throw out."
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"‐Don't say that! ‐I mean, what are we supposed to do"
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"with this sad, old cucumber that's at the end of its life?"
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"Oh, actually, this one's going to Mort."
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"Right. Yay."
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"Wait! That's it!"
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"I‐I know what we can do! We'll just do what Mort does."
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"Eat real slow"
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"‐and chew a million times? ‐What?"
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"‐We pickle it. ‐(gasps)"
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"Ooh! Good idea, Bob!"
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"Why is that like what I do?"
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"You know, like embalming."
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"That's not even really... Okay, never mind."
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"Ooh! All of the sudden I'm feeling picklish!"
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"All right!"
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"Tina, my favorite sister..."
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"‐Hey! ‐And there's the crystal."
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"Good, good."
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"You know, I've been thinking."
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"You and this crystal could help a lot of people."
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"And I feel like it's our duty"
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"to find these people and ask for a small fee"
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"in order for you to stand next to them."
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"‐Uh... ‐You love it."
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"Anyway, here's Peter Pescadero."
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"And for the low, low price of fifty cents,"
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"he'd like some crystal Tina time."
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"‐Wait. What? ‐I've been working on"
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"my breakdancing moves,"
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"but I still can't crack the windmill."
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"There's a crack in my windmill. This guy."
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"Could you just stand near me while I practice for one second?"
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"Oh. I guess..."
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"But I can't promise anything is going to happen."
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"You can do this, Peter."
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"Windmill...!"
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"He's doing it. I think."
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"Okay, Rudy, go ask Chloe your question."
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"I mean, I still think she's a dumb shampoo bottle"
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"in the shape of a person."
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"But you paid your money, so have at it."
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"Bring it home, Rudy."
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"Hey, Chloe. How about you and I be science partners today?"
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"Um, I was gonna be Emmy Butler's partner today."
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"‐Oh. ‐But then she got sick,"
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"which is gross, so yeah. Just for today."
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"And maybe you do all the experiments for both of us."
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"'Cause I don't like wearing the goggles. They hurt my hair."
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"‐Yes! ‐Barf."
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"I can't believe I'm doing this."
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"Eh, what the heck?"
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"It's for online poker."
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