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Clips from The Goldbergs - Double Dare (S03E03)

"What happened the first Sunday after we got married,"
The Goldbergs
"when you insisted on watching the game with me?"
The Goldbergs
"They lost by six stupid touchdowns."
The Goldbergs
"Just come and get your nachos."
The Goldbergs
"Mom, you know the rules."
The Goldbergs
"Once the game starts, we can't move from our spot."
The Goldbergs
"Now truck it over on the animal."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: This '80s toy monster truck was their typical lifeline,"
The Goldbergs
"mostly due to its retractable claws for stability."
The Goldbergs
"(BOTH SIGH)"
The Goldbergs
"The claws did nothing!"
The Goldbergs
"Stay back! Don't clean it up!"
The Goldbergs
"There's hot cheese on my rug!"
The Goldbergs
"That's its home now!"
The Goldbergs
"She jinxed us!"
The Goldbergs
"Do your idiot dance!"
The Goldbergs
"Pops, I have amazing news!"
The Goldbergs
"You're gonna be my partner on Double Dare!"
The Goldbergs
"That's the best news I've heard all day."
The Goldbergs
"Also, what's Double Dare?"
The Goldbergs
"Only the country's hottest game show."
The Goldbergs
"You love game shows, right?"
The Goldbergs
"You bet."
The Goldbergs
"That Vanna White sure can turn a letter."
The Goldbergs
"Ha ha!"
The Goldbergs
"Don't say any of that at our audition."
The Goldbergs
"In fact, leave all the talking to me."
The Goldbergs
"You sure you don't want to do this"
The Goldbergs
"with one of your little friends?"
The Goldbergs
"Nah. She'll understand."
The Goldbergs
"Ow! You punched me in the heart!"
The Goldbergs
"You're picking your grandfather over me? Seriously?"
The Goldbergs
"You know it's been my dream to go on Double Dare."
The Goldbergs
"It's selfish of you not to support that."
The Goldbergs
"How am I the weak link?"
The Goldbergs
"You got flat feet and a lazy eye."
The Goldbergs
"That Double Dare human-hamster wheel will eat you alive."
The Goldbergs
"I had no choice."
The Goldbergs
"This is the only way"
The Goldbergs
"I can beat my lifelong rival, Handsome Ben."
The Goldbergs
"Dude, you're not his rival. It's totally one-sided."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, yeah? Watch this."
The Goldbergs
"Hey, Ben."
The Goldbergs
"'Sup, Adam?"
The Goldbergs
"Good luck at the Double Dare tryouts."
The Goldbergs
"I hope you get it."
The Goldbergs
"(CHUCKLES)"
The Goldbergs
"Stupid, generous Handsome Ben."
The Goldbergs
"Well, I don't need you."
The Goldbergs
"I'm gonna make it on the show and win,"
The Goldbergs
"and I won't save any slime for you!"
The Goldbergs
"Is that a new trapper keeper, Adam?"
The Goldbergs
"Sweet. Just got it. Thanks."
The Goldbergs
"(BOTH CHUCKLE)"
The Goldbergs
"I will bury you."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: While I was plotting to beat my lifelong rival,"
The Goldbergs
"my mom had plotted a way into the den."
The Goldbergs
"What... What is this? What are you doing?"
The Goldbergs
"Don't worry. I'm not touching the floor."
The Goldbergs
"I'm just gonna bust some dust and be on my way."
The Goldbergs
"(VACUUM CLEANER RUNNING)"
The Goldbergs
"Poop!"
The Goldbergs
"Bevy, please! Come on! Dear lord, no!"
The Goldbergs
"And then something crazy happened."
The Goldbergs
"Oh! (SCREAMING)"
The Goldbergs
"The Eagles intercepted the moment my mom stepped on the floor."
The Goldbergs
"And as soon as she left..."
The Goldbergs
"Come on! Are you kidding?"
The Goldbergs
"...the Eagles fumbled."
The Goldbergs
"Dude. Did you see that?"
The Goldbergs
"When mom was in here, the Eagles kicked butt."
The Goldbergs
"The second she left, the Eagles sucked butt."
The Goldbergs
"What are you saying?"
The Goldbergs
"Do you think mom's good luck?"
The Goldbergs
"No. It's just a dumb coincidence."
The Goldbergs
"Only one way to find out."
The Goldbergs
"Kee-ya! What the hell!"
The Goldbergs
"Shut up. Shut up."
The Goldbergs
"Mom! I think dad spilled something!"
The Goldbergs
"Hey, hey!"
The Goldbergs
"It's okay. I've always got a rag."
The Goldbergs
"It's a mom secret. (CHUCKLES)"
The Goldbergs
"(CROWD CHEERING) They sacked Bradshaw."
The Goldbergs
"Get it! Get it! get it!"
The Goldbergs
"...and they did."
The Goldbergs
"Good god, mom did it!"
The Goldbergs
"No! That was just another coincidence."
The Goldbergs
"You keep your mother out of this. Understand?"
The Goldbergs
"Understand what? I heard "mother.""
The Goldbergs
"I'm the mother. Here I am."
The Goldbergs
"Dude, all these years, we've got it wrong."
The Goldbergs
"You're not a jinx."
The Goldbergs
"You're like a real, actual lucky charm."
The Goldbergs
"Thank you, schmoo."
The Goldbergs
"No. Stop."
The Goldbergs
"There's no such thing as actual luck."
The Goldbergs
"Then why are you wearing your lucky jersey and underpants?"
The Goldbergs
"This helps the Eagles win, not your mother."
The Goldbergs
"Looks like those greeny guys are celebrating something."
The Goldbergs
"They scored!"
The Goldbergs
"Mom stays... Stays forever."
The Goldbergs
"Oh! Ha! This is gonna be fun!"
The Goldbergs
"Go, greeny birds!"
The Goldbergs
"MURRAY: No."
The Goldbergs
"We have a system when we watch football,"
The Goldbergs
"and the number-one rule of that system is no talking."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: Naturally, my mom respected the rules..."
The Goldbergs
"Until the next week, when she didn't."
The Goldbergs
"Are the players married to the cheerleaders?"
The Goldbergs
"Do you think their families are mad"
The Goldbergs
"'cause they work on Sundays?"
The Goldbergs
"Ugh! Look at those grass stains."
The Goldbergs
"Who washes those pants?"
The Goldbergs
"Aren't we all Patriots?"
The Goldbergs
"Oh ho! Look at that big, snuggly pileup."
The Goldbergs
"Why does the throwy guy keep putting his hands in the other guy's butt?"
The Goldbergs
"I have a better name for a team..."
The Goldbergs
"The Yankee Doodles."
The Goldbergs
"(SIGHS DEEPLY)"
The Goldbergs
"You know what? Who wants bagel bites?"
The Goldbergs
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