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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Zoo Balloon (S01E01)

"Let me see these permission slips to the zoo."
Abbott Elementary
"And they better be real, 'cause I can tell"
Abbott Elementary
"- if you faked a Herbie Hancock. - Oh, it's John Hancock."
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"Girl, I know. I just say whatever I want."
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"You ain't learned that yet? (chuckles)"
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"Chad, did you forge your mom's signature?"
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"No?"
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"It says "Chad's Mom.""
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"That's her name?"
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"You're staying behind with the rest of the kids"
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"who don't have permission slips. Come on."
Abbott Elementary
"I love field trips."
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"I get to do Mr. Johnson's Day Off."
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"That's when I watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off,"
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"which is a movie about a depressed kid"
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"who murders his father's Ferrari."
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"Mr. Johnson, sorry to interrupt whatever this is,"
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"but these kids need to stay with you."
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"Well, looks like Ava switched this day"
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"from Ferris Bueller's Day Off to The Breakfast Club."
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"Life moves pretty fast,"
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"and if you don't stop every once in a while"
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"to take a look, you might --"
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"Missed one. (chuckles)"
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"Come on in."
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"(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)"
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"♪"
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"- It's zoo time! - (kids cheering)"
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"I got some free chaperones so that I could save money --"
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"we could save money!"
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"One of whom is my daughter, Taylor."
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"And Taylor lives in New York City!"
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"CHILDREN: Boo!"
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"Boo!"
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"O-Oh, sorry."
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"I heard people booing New York, and my instinct just kicked in."
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"You knew they were gonna do that."
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"Okay, class, this is --"
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"Oh, I guess you've already met Zach."
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"Yeah, Scrub and Bubbles will take that mark right off."
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"But you got to use the foam, not the spray."
Abbott Elementary
"Uh, Tariq, you cannot trade a sandwich."
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"You need to eat your sandwich."
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"I pay taxes. I ain't gotta eat no sandwich."
Abbott Elementary
"AVA: Janine, there can't be any mishaps."
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"I didn't exactly "fill out" the paperwork"
Abbott Elementary
"for the school district."
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"Wait. Then why are we going?"
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"'Cause I wanna go to the zoo, so keep your man in check."
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"AVA: Tariq's been doing great."
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"He's been doing shows for F.A.D.E.,"
Abbott Elementary
"that drug prevention program, all around Philly."
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"And he has been waking up at 11:50"
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"to get a jump on his day."
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"So proud."
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"I don't know why people act like it's hard to watch kids, anyway."
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"Watch this. Hey, when I move, you move."
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"CHILDREN: Just like that!"
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"When I move, you move."
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"CHILDREN: Just like that!"
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"When I move, you move."
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"CHILDREN: Just like that!"
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"Hold up. I'm missing a kid."
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"This one of yours?"
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"I found him hiding inside a trash bag."
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"I almost threw him out."
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"Kenny, yeah. Come on, man. Thank you, Mr. Johnson."
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"Can I go to the water zoo instead?"
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"You mean the aquarium?"
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"N-Next time, buddy. Go ahead, sit down."
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"- Is Kenny okay? - Yeah, he's..."
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"just a little nervous about going into second grade."
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"Oh, I get it. New experiences can be tough."
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"Which I get."
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"I remember the first time I had clam chowder."
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"'Cause it was yesterday, and it was awful."
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"Hey, you know, I'm probably gonna be"
Abbott Elementary
"Kenny's 2nd grade teacher."
Abbott Elementary
"Why don't you just let him get a head start with me today?"
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"- That'd be great. Yeah. - Yeah? Okay."
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"Hey, Kenny,"
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"would you like to be in my group today?"
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"Uh, not really."
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"That's the spirit. I got 'em."
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"BARBARA: Go ahead."
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"All right, now, has everybody used the bathroom?"
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"This is your last chance!"
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"TAYLOR: Were we this crazy when I was in your class?"
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"No. And I blame Real Housewives."
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"The kids watch with their mothers,"
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"and every season, a new beast is created."
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"- (chomps) - Wha--"
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"Don't bite me with your fake Gucci jacket!"
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"All right, sit down! And every--"
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"Just relax, okay? Just relax!"
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"Mrs. Howard, I've gotta use the bathroom."
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"Party bus! If you're excited, say, "Yass!""
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"(all cheer)"
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"Okay. What big cat's everybody gonna see first?"
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"- CHILDREN: Lions! - Lion! That's right."
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"Boom."
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"Meow, y'all! (laughs)"
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"What? Ava, you really had to change into that?"
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"Of course I did. The zoo is a Mecca for single dads."
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"Better pickings than a Sunday brunch up in there."
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"Now, who ready for the zoo?!"
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"- (engine starts) - CHILDREN: Me!"
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"(all cheering)"
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"(engine revs)"
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"The ♪"
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"♪ Wheels on the bus go round and round ♪"
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"Round and round ♪"
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"Round and round ♪"
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"Okay. So, just remember,"
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"everyone needs to be with their buddy,"
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"and if you see someone, like, start to meander off --"
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"- Bruh! - What?"
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"I just got an e-mail from F.A.D.E. headquarters."
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"Oh, no. Did they have a problem"
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"with one of your performances?"
Abbott Elementary
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