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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Touch of Eval(uations) (S12E12)

When you're in a hole, stop digging.

"When you're in a hole, stop digging."

Bob's Burgers

Ratings: all ones.

"Ratings: all ones."

Bob's Burgers

And now the comments.

"And now the comments."

Bob's Burgers

Looks like you're commenting a lot.

"Looks like you're commenting a lot."

Bob's Burgers

Mm-hmm. Gonna need extra paper.

"Mm-hmm. Gonna need extra paper."

Bob's Burgers

That's probably not good.

"That's probably not good."

Bob's Burgers

It's not.

"It's not."

Bob's Burgers

Is "Antichrist" hyphenated?

"Is "Antichrist" hyphenated?"

Bob's Burgers

(groans) No, it's one word.

"(groans) No, it's one word."

Bob's Burgers

Mr. Frond, wait up. I got my Ms. LaBonz evaluation.

"Mr. Frond, wait up. I got my Ms. LaBonz evaluation."

Bob's Burgers

I wanted to hand it to you personally.

"I wanted to hand it to you personally."

Bob's Burgers

- Here's a preview. (blows raspberry) - Great.

"- Here's a preview. (blows raspberry) - Great."

Bob's Burgers

I'm putting them all in this zipped messenger bag

"I'm putting them all in this zipped messenger bag"

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which never leaves my side.

"which never leaves my side."

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I got the idea from how they guard the envelopes

"I got the idea from how they guard the envelopes"

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at the Academy Awards.

"at the Academy Awards."

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- Pretty glamorous, huh? - Perfect. Sounds secure.

"- Pretty glamorous, huh? - Perfect. Sounds secure."

Bob's Burgers

I've even tied a piece of yarn from my wrist to the handle

"I've even tied a piece of yarn from my wrist to the handle"

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so I don't set it down and leave it somewhere.

"so I don't set it down and leave it somewhere."

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Smart. Enough.

"Smart. Enough."

Bob's Burgers

For you. Now what happens?

"For you. Now what happens?"

Bob's Burgers

In a few minutes, I'll sit down with each teacher one-on-one

"In a few minutes, I'll sit down with each teacher one-on-one"

Bob's Burgers

to go over the evaluations together.

"to go over the evaluations together."

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And, of course, I'll provide compassionate counseling

"And, of course, I'll provide compassionate counseling"

Bob's Burgers

for the duds that get reamed.

"for the duds that get reamed."

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(chuckles) Someone's gonna need it.

"(chuckles) Someone's gonna need it."

Bob's Burgers

Okay. Whoa. See? It works.

"Okay. Whoa. See? It works."

Bob's Burgers

Well, in the end, I just gave Ms. Jacobson all fives

"Well, in the end, I just gave Ms. Jacobson all fives"

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and I realized that it's not her fault the erasers are bad.

"and I realized that it's not her fault the erasers are bad."

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That's a budget issue.

"That's a budget issue."

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I was pretty nice, too.

"I was pretty nice, too."

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I wrote, "Twitchell-- you'll want to flunk sixth grade

"I wrote, "Twitchell-- you'll want to flunk sixth grade"

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on purpose just to see her again."

"on purpose just to see her again.""

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And I'm almost there.

"And I'm almost there."

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Well, LaBonz messed with the bull, so she got the horns.

"Well, LaBonz messed with the bull, so she got the horns."

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I even made a copy of it to put on my wall.

"I even made a copy of it to put on my wall."

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Hope it doesn't catch on fire and burn down the whole house,

"Hope it doesn't catch on fire and burn down the whole house,"

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'cause it's scorching.

"'cause it's scorching."

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Wow, sounds like you went, I want to say, way too far?

"Wow, sounds like you went, I want to say, way too far?"

Bob's Burgers

What? No, Tina, I punched up.

"What? No, Tina, I punched up."

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I'm a tiny schoolchild,

"I'm a tiny schoolchild,"

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and Ms. LaBonz is a rich and powerful fourth grade teacher.

"and Ms. LaBonz is a rich and powerful fourth grade teacher."

Bob's Burgers

Um, grade school teachers

"Um, grade school teachers"

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probably aren't that rich and powerful.

"probably aren't that rich and powerful."

Bob's Burgers

Well, Mr. De Santo has a pleather jacket.

"Well, Mr. De Santo has a pleather jacket."

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- Those aren't cheap. - Also,

"- Those aren't cheap. - Also,"

Bob's Burgers

I wonder what it'll be like for Ms. LaBonz when she reads it.

"I wonder what it'll be like for Ms. LaBonz when she reads it."

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She'll probably just raise her fist and say,

"She'll probably just raise her fist and say,"

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"You've bested me this time, Louise!"

""You've bested me this time, Louise!""

Bob's Burgers

I don't know. Why don't you pretend I'm her

"I don't know. Why don't you pretend I'm her"

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and read it to me?

"and read it to me?"

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- What? - Just read it.

"- What? - Just read it."

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Wait, hold on. I got to get into character.

"Wait, hold on. I got to get into character."

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(same voice): Am I doing her voice right? Yeah, that's it.

"(same voice): Am I doing her voice right? Yeah, that's it."

Bob's Burgers

Okay, I'm just gonna give you a few highlights.

"Okay, I'm just gonna give you a few highlights."

Bob's Burgers

"Ms. LaBonz is so burned-out that when she burps,

""Ms. LaBonz is so burned-out that when she burps,"

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- she sets off smoke alarms." - Oh.

"- she sets off smoke alarms." - Oh."

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Um... (clears throat) "She taught us about fossils.

"Um... (clears throat) "She taught us about fossils."

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By being one."

"By being one.""

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- Wow. - Forg...

"- Wow. - Forg..."

Bob's Burgers

You know what, forget that part. Um, um...

"You know what, forget that part. Um, um..."

Bob's Burgers

"Ms. LaBonz is so boring, if she was a color,

""Ms. LaBonz is so boring, if she was a color,"

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"she'd be off-beige.

""she'd be off-beige."

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"She's huffy and stuffy.

""She's huffy and stuffy."

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- She's..." - Oh...

"- She's..." - Oh..."

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(groans) Why isn't this fun?!

"(groans) Why isn't this fun?!"

Bob's Burgers

I did the right thing.

"I did the right thing."

Bob's Burgers

Okay. Now you be Lady Gaga and I'll be Mom.

"Okay. Now you be Lady Gaga and I'll be Mom."

Bob's Burgers

It's a conversation I've always been curious about.

"It's a conversation I've always been curious about."

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Lin, I've been in Mort's crematorium.

"Lin, I've been in Mort's crematorium."

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It's sad and scary

"It's sad and scary"

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and kind of the opposite of resting in peace.

"and kind of the opposite of resting in peace."

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Bob, maybe we just agree to disagree

"Bob, maybe we just agree to disagree"

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and each do our own thing.

"and each do our own thing."

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You get your dirt and your trees and your worms.

"You get your dirt and your trees and your worms."

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I get the sky and the sea.

"I get the sky and the sea."

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Okay, fine, I guess I'll just be alone for eternity.

"Okay, fine, I guess I'll just be alone for eternity."

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Or, who knows, maybe someone interesting

"Or, who knows, maybe someone interesting"

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will get buried next to me and, you know,

"will get buried next to me and, you know,"

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we'll hit it off and hang out.

"we'll hit it off and hang out."

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Both dead.

"Both dead."

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Are you trying to make me jealous?

"Are you trying to make me jealous?"

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He's kind of making me jealous.

"He's kind of making me jealous."

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I'm just gonna be open to whatever happens.

"I'm just gonna be open to whatever happens."

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Hello, Bob, Linda.

"Hello, Bob, Linda."

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It's the first of the month somewhere.

"It's the first of the month somewhere."

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Ha! Pay me rent.

"Ha! Pay me rent."

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Oh, hi, Mr. Fischoeder.

"Oh, hi, Mr. Fischoeder."

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Is it the first already?

"Is it the first already?"

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Yes, somewhere. And here.

"Yes, somewhere. And here."

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What's this, cemetery brochures?

"What's this, cemetery brochures?"

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You're not planning on dying, are you,

"You're not planning on dying, are you,"

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to skip out on the rent?

"to skip out on the rent?"

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The old die-and-dash?

"The old die-and-dash?"

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No, nobody's dying, Mr. Fischoeder.

"No, nobody's dying, Mr. Fischoeder."

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- We all die, Bob. - I'll tell you my death plan. I'm getting

"- We all die, Bob. - I'll tell you my death plan. I'm getting"

Bob's Burgers

a little consortium of fun and flirty dead people together

"a little consortium of fun and flirty dead people together"

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and our mortal remains will be tossed into and purified by

"and our mortal remains will be tossed into and purified by"

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an active volcano.

"an active volcano."

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Ooh, which volcano?

"Ooh, which volcano?"

Bob's Burgers

We're still looking around.

"We're still looking around."

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It'll be one of the better ones.

"It'll be one of the better ones."

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Love it. I'm in.

"Love it. I'm in."

Bob's Burgers

- Oh, my God. - Me, too.

"- Oh, my God. - Me, too."

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- Where do I sign up? - Ooh, no,

"- Where do I sign up? - Ooh, no,"

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no and no.

"no and no."

Bob's Burgers

Oh. Ms. LaBonz,

"Oh. Ms. LaBonz,"

Bob's Burgers

I thought you'd be headed down to Mr. Frond's office.

"I thought you'd be headed down to Mr. Frond's office."

Bob's Burgers

I've got to go to my car to get something first,

"I've got to go to my car to get something first,"

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and by "something," I don't mean nicotine gum

"and by "something," I don't mean nicotine gum"

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that I need more than anything else in the world right now.

"that I need more than anything else in the world right now."

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Well, I'm just getting my diorama to take home.

"Well, I'm just getting my diorama to take home."

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It's our only cotton ball, so...

"It's our only cotton ball, so..."

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By the way, Louise, what I was trying to say before--

"By the way, Louise, what I was trying to say before--"

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the reason I gave you the crummy grade on the diorama.

"the reason I gave you the crummy grade on the diorama."

Bob's Burgers

- I know. - It's because you're very bright.

"- I know. - It's because you're very bright."

Bob's Burgers

Wha-What?

"Wha-What?"

Bob's Burgers

But you don't work hard.

"But you don't work hard."

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I need to motivate you.

"I need to motivate you."

Bob's Burgers

I've noticed that anger and vengeance

"I've noticed that anger and vengeance"

Bob's Burgers

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