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Clips from Fat Albert

"Some kind of guard or a screen to put over the TV set so-- so nobody can get out. Okay."
Fat Albert
"Don't you guys make noise when you enter a room?"
Fat Albert
"Well, I never thought about it. We-- We just enter."
Fat Albert
"Okay. Here are your drinks."
Fat Albert
"Do you have a-- a can opener?"
Fat Albert
"The can opener's on the can."
Fat Albert
"Stop! Stop!"
Fat Albert
"- Hello? What are you doing? - Singin'."
Fat Albert
"I know you're singing, but aren't you gonna drink?"
Fat Albert
"Not unless somebody writes that we're thirsty."
Fat Albert
"Okay. Forget the drinks."
Fat Albert
"The commercial's almost over, and you've gotta get back."
Fat Albert
"Stay tuned to TV Land for more of your classic TV favorites."
Fat Albert
"There's no place like TV Land."
Fat Albert
"Where's our show?"
Fat Albert
"It's over. Your show is over."
Fat Albert
"- Pardon me, miss. - My name is Doris."
Fat Albert
"- Doris. - Oh, that's a nice name."
Fat Albert
"- Doris. - I know a dog named Doris."
Fat Albert
"So, Doris, when is our show on again?"
Fat Albert
"2:30."
Fat Albert
"Tomorrow."
Fat Albert
"- What do we do now? - I don't know."
Fat Albert
"I know you don't know. I wasn't talking to you."
Fat Albert
"- I wasn't talking to you. - Then who were you talking to?"
Fat Albert
"- I thought I was talking to her. - Guys, guys!"
Fat Albert
"I say we wait with Doris till 2:30 tomorrow when our show is on again."
Fat Albert
"I don't think we should be outside. We don't belong here."
Fat Albert
"I don't know about that. This neighborhood looks kind of familiar."
Fat Albert
"- Ooh! Cody, can I ask you a question? - Sure."
Fat Albert
"- Do you see anyone? - I see you."
Fat Albert
"Anyone else?"
Fat Albert
"I see a bunch of bizarre-looking freaks."
Fat Albert
"- Thanks. - No problem, Doris. See you around."
Fat Albert
"Okay. Other people can see you too. That's good."
Fat Albert
"I think."
Fat Albert
"Okay, bye!"
Fat Albert
"She doesn't mean anything to me."
Fat Albert
"You're the only woman who means anything to me."
Fat Albert
"You're the only woman that matters."
Fat Albert
"Hold on a second, Ma."
Fat Albert
"Can I help you guys?"
Fat Albert
"Uh, what are you talking into?"
Fat Albert
"- A phone. - It-- It doesn't have any wires."
Fat Albert
"You guys yankin' my chain?"
Fat Albert
"- I didn't even know you had a chain. - Me too. Yeah."
Fat Albert
"- Hey,Jer. - Hi, Doris."
Fat Albert
"Do you know these guys?"
Fat Albert
"Yeah. I met them today."
Fat Albert
"Okay. Enjoy them."
Fat Albert
"Hey, Ma. No, a bunch of wackos."
Fat Albert
"- Yeah. - Look..."
Fat Albert
"maybe it's not such a good idea for you guys to hang with me."
Fat Albert
"So I'll see you tomorrow, 2:30."
Fat Albert
"Where will we go?"
Fat Albert
"What will we do?"
Fat Albert
"Why don't you bu-bu-bu-- bike us?"
Fat Albert
"Mushmouth wants to know why you don't like us."
Fat Albert
"All right, all right. You can come with me."
Fat Albert
"Look, just don't tell anyone who you guys are."
Fat Albert
"Everybody already thinks I'm weird."
Fat Albert
"- I know what you mean. - Well, at least you have friends."
Fat Albert
"I knew it! You do have a problem."
Fat Albert
"- Now all we gotta do is get you some friends. - No. No. Absolutely not."
Fat Albert
"You know who you're talkin' to?"
Fat Albert
"Fat Albert talk, people-- people listen."
Fat Albert
"Hey, look. Nobody is talking to anyone, or you're not going anywhere."
Fat Albert
"Now, come on. This is my last class, and I don't want to be late."
Fat Albert
"I talked it over with my boys, and we want a buck-buck rematch."
Fat Albert
"- Uh, you do? - Yeah."
Fat Albert
"We're gonna be the buck-buck champions of the world."
Fat Albert
"- You can't be. - Why not?"
Fat Albert
"Fat Albert and the guys aren't here right now."
Fat Albert
"You mean you're here by yourself?"
Fat Albert
"- You know what that means, don't you? - No."
Fat Albert
"It means that me and my boys are gonna take over the junkyard!"
Fat Albert
"You can't do that! This is Fat Albert's junkyard!"
Fat Albert
"Oh, yeah? Well, I don't see Fat Albert anywhere."
Fat Albert
"Help! Help!"
Fat Albert
"Good afternoon, class."
Fat Albert
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Forchick."
Fat Albert
"Since there's a three-day weekend coming-- Oh, yes, Doris."
Fat Albert
"Um, I have some... visitors here with me."
Fat Albert
"And I didn't think you'd mind if they audited the class."
Fat Albert
"All right, kids. Come on. Find a seat."
Fat Albert
"Hello. How you doin'?"
Fat Albert
"Hello."
Fat Albert
"Nice clothes. Name's Darren."
Fat Albert
"- What's that on your head? - It's my hat."
Fat Albert
"- Why don't you take it off? - I have no face."
Fat Albert
"- Right. - Answer questions one, four, seven and nine."
Fat Albert
"- What's with that guy? - I ba do badoby, but myba nameba iba M-Mushmouth."
Fat Albert
"And you?"
Fat Albert
"And now why don't we begin by having your friends introduce themselves?"
Fat Albert
"Oh, all right. Well, I'm Fat Albert."
Fat Albert
"- Doris says you're visiting. Where is it that you live? - North Philly."
Fat Albert
"What? Was that funny?"
Fat Albert
"Yes. It is."
Fat Albert
"Considering the fact that you're in North Philadelphia..."
Fat Albert
"and therefore are visiting North Philadelphia from North Philadelphia."
Fat Albert
"Is there something more you want to say, Albert?"
Fat Albert
"Oh, uh, yes. We're here because Doris has a problem."
Fat Albert
"- Oh, God. - Yes, she doesn't have any friends."
Fat Albert
"So we came here to tell everybody to be her friend."
Fat Albert
"That's very nice."
Fat Albert
"All right, kids. Power up."
Fat Albert
"Log on and access the Internet."
Fat Albert
"- Yes. Can I help you? - Uh, what is this?"
Fat Albert
"Uh, why don't we put those down?"
Fat Albert
"Two more laps."
Fat Albert
"Well, that was one of the more humiliating experiences of my life."
Fat Albert
"Look, I don't have friends because I don't want friends."
Fat Albert
"So if you guys would stop trying to help me, I would greatly appreciate it."
Fat Albert
"Hey, hey, hey! You run track?"
Fat Albert
"Yeah, I do. My grandpa used to run track for Temple."
Fat Albert
"It was important to him, so I run."
Fat Albert
"- Well, are you fast? - No, I'm not."
Fat Albert
"- I'm lucky just to finish. - Hey, hey, hey. Don't think that way."
Fat Albert
"I'm sure you could win. And I'll be here to cheer you on."
Fat Albert
"- I'll see you next class. - Okay."
Fat Albert
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