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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - Bret Gives Up the Dream (S01E01)

Good news, man. Got some groceries.

"Good news, man. Got some groceries."

Flight of the Conchords

- Really? - Yeah, I got some good stuff.

"- Really? - Yeah, I got some good stuff."

Flight of the Conchords

Think you'll like that.

"Think you'll like that."

Flight of the Conchords

- A sandwich? - Yeah.

"- A sandwich? - Yeah."

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That looks good.

"That looks good."

Flight of the Conchords

- Some jam looks good. - Mmm.

"- Some jam looks good. - Mmm."

Flight of the Conchords

That looks quite good as well.

"That looks quite good as well."

Flight of the Conchords

This is great. How did you afford this?

"This is great. How did you afford this?"

Flight of the Conchords

Um, oh it was free.

"Um, oh it was free."

Flight of the Conchords

- Free? - Yeah.

"- Free? - Yeah."

Flight of the Conchords

- How come it was free? - Eh?

"- How come it was free? - Eh?"

Flight of the Conchords

I found it.

"I found it."

Flight of the Conchords

It was on the street. Someone didn't want it.

"It was on the street. Someone didn't want it."

Flight of the Conchords

What are you doing, man? That's a good sandwich.

"What are you doing, man? That's a good sandwich."

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I was gonna spit it out, but I think I'll just eat it.

"I was gonna spit it out, but I think I'll just eat it."

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We're poor, man.

"We're poor, man."

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We are poor, aren't we?

"We are poor, aren't we?"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city life, inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city life, inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# The concrete world is starting to get ya #

"# The concrete world is starting to get ya #"

Flight of the Conchords

# The city is alive, the city is expanding #

"# The city is alive, the city is expanding #"

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# Living in the city can be demanding #

"# Living in the city can be demanding #"

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# You've pawned everything, everything you own #

"# You've pawned everything, everything you own #"

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# Your toothbrush jar and a camera phone #

"# Your toothbrush jar and a camera phone #"

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# You don't know where you're going, you cross the street #

"# You don't know where you're going, you cross the street #"

Flight of the Conchords

♪ You don't know why you did, you walk back across the street ♪

"♪ You don't know why you did, you walk back across the street ♪"

Flight of the Conchords

♪ Standing in the sitting room totally skint ♪

"♪ Standing in the sitting room totally skint ♪"

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♪ And your favorite jersey is covered in lint ♪

"♪ And your favorite jersey is covered in lint ♪"

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# You want to sit down but you've sold your chair #

"# You want to sit down but you've sold your chair #"

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# So you... you just stand there #

"# So you... you just stand there #"

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# You just stand there #

"# You just stand there #"

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# Just stand there! #

"# Just stand there! #"

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# Inner... inner-city #

"# Inner... inner-city #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Counting coins on the counter of the Seven-11 #

"# Counting coins on the counter of the Seven-11 #"

Flight of the Conchords

# From a quarter past 6:00 to a quarter to 7:00 #

"# From a quarter past 6:00 to a quarter to 7:00 #"

Flight of the Conchords

# The manager, Bevan, starts to abuse me #

"# The manager, Bevan, starts to abuse me #"

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# Hey, man, I just want some muesli #

"# Hey, man, I just want some muesli #"

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# Neon signs, hidden messages #

"# Neon signs, hidden messages #"

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# Questions, answers, fetishes #

"# Questions, answers, fetishes #"

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# You know you're not in high finance #

"# You know you're not in high finance #"

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# Considering secondhand underpants #

"# Considering secondhand underpants #"

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# Check your mind, how'd it get so bad? #

"# Check your mind, how'd it get so bad? #"

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# What happened to those other underpants you had? #

"# What happened to those other underpants you had? #"

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# Look in your pockets, haven't found a cent yet #

"# Look in your pockets, haven't found a cent yet #"

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- # Landlord's on your balls # - # Have you paid your rent yet? #

"- # Landlord's on your balls # - # Have you paid your rent yet? #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner... inner-city #

"# Inner... inner-city #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner... inner-city #

"# Inner... inner-city #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# So you think maybe you'll be a prostitute #

"# So you think maybe you'll be a prostitute #"

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# Just to pay for your lessons, you're learning the flute #

"# Just to pay for your lessons, you're learning the flute #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Ladies wouldn't pay you very much for this #

"# Ladies wouldn't pay you very much for this #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Looks like you'll never be a concert flautist #

"# Looks like you'll never be a concert flautist #"

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# You don't measure up to the expectation #

"# You don't measure up to the expectation #"

Flight of the Conchords

# When you're unemployed there's no vacation #

"# When you're unemployed there's no vacation #"

Flight of the Conchords

# No one cares, no one sympathizes #

"# No one cares, no one sympathizes #"

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# You just stay home and play synthesizers #

"# You just stay home and play synthesizers #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner... inner-city #

"# Inner... inner-city #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

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# Inner... inner-city #

"# Inner... inner-city #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure #

"# Inner-city pressure #"

Flight of the Conchords

# Inner-city pressure. #

"# Inner-city pressure. #"

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- Murray. - Oh, guys.

"- Murray. - Oh, guys."

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What are you doing here? This is not a scheduled band meeting.

"What are you doing here? This is not a scheduled band meeting."

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Are you busy?

"Are you busy?"

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I'm just reading about the old toothbrush fence.

"I'm just reading about the old toothbrush fence."

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Pretty impressive, huh?

"Pretty impressive, huh?"

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Murray, we need some money.

"Murray, we need some money."

Flight of the Conchords

Okay. How much?

"Okay. How much?"

Flight of the Conchords

I got about $4 in here.

"I got about $4 in here."

Flight of the Conchords

$4? I thought we had $10?

"$4? I thought we had $10?"

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This box cost $6.

"This box cost $6."

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- What was wrong with the bag? - The bag was useless, Bret.

"- What was wrong with the bag? - The bag was useless, Bret."

Flight of the Conchords

It had a great big hole in it.

"It had a great big hole in it."

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Must have lost about $20 out of that bag.

"Must have lost about $20 out of that bag."

Flight of the Conchords

It's the box now.

"It's the box now."

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Do you like it? I chose it.

"Do you like it? I chose it."

Flight of the Conchords

Well, can we have the $4?

"Well, can we have the $4?"

Flight of the Conchords

Well, there'll be nothing in the box.

"Well, there'll be nothing in the box."

Flight of the Conchords

Here's the $4. I got 27 ¢ here.

"Here's the $4. I got 27 ¢ here."

Flight of the Conchords

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Flight of the Conchords

That's it. That's the lot of it.

"That's it. That's the lot of it."

Flight of the Conchords

Actually, I'm owed

"Actually, I'm owed"

Flight of the Conchords

Hang on, let's have a look.

"Hang on, let's have a look."

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Okay, 51.24 cents.

"Okay, 51.24 cents."

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- We can't even divide... - Just leave it.

"- We can't even divide... - Just leave it."

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- You take it all. - Maybe a quarter.

"- You take it all. - Maybe a quarter."

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Look, I tell you what, I feel bad.

"Look, I tell you what, I feel bad."

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I haven't got you paid gigs for a while. Here you go.

"I haven't got you paid gigs for a while. Here you go."

Flight of the Conchords

Take this.

"Take this."

Flight of the Conchords

$50.

"$50."

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You can't give us your own money.

"You can't give us your own money."

Flight of the Conchords

Well, yeah, you're right. It is my last $50.

"Well, yeah, you're right. It is my last $50."

Flight of the Conchords

Till Thursday, I mean, you know.

"Till Thursday, I mean, you know."

Flight of the Conchords

- Getting paid again, but... - Have we sold any T-shirts?

"- Getting paid again, but... - Have we sold any T-shirts?"

Flight of the Conchords

- Two. - What about mousepads?

"- Two. - What about mousepads?"

Flight of the Conchords

- No. - Haven't sold any mousepads?

"- No. - Haven't sold any mousepads?"

Flight of the Conchords

I told you... terrible idea.

"I told you... terrible idea."

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I don't know what to do with them.

"I don't know what to do with them."

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I've got so many mousepads at home because of your bad idea, Bret.

"I've got so many mousepads at home because of your bad idea, Bret."

Flight of the Conchords

What do you do with mousepads?

"What do you do with mousepads?"

Flight of the Conchords

I've lined Toby's kennel with them. He keeps eating them.

"I've lined Toby's kennel with them. He keeps eating them."

Flight of the Conchords

I tried to waterproof the kitchen.

"I tried to waterproof the kitchen."

Flight of the Conchords

Well, we need some cash.

"Well, we need some cash."

Flight of the Conchords

Maybe you guys should think about supplementing your band income

"Maybe you guys should think about supplementing your band income"

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by getting another job, like I do with this job.

"by getting another job, like I do with this job."

Flight of the Conchords

Murray, the prime minister's office

"Murray, the prime minister's office"

Flight of the Conchords

wants to talk to you about the World Trade Expo next week.

"wants to talk to you about the World Trade Expo next week."

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Can you tell them I'll ring them straight back?

"Can you tell them I'll ring them straight back?"

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I've just got a couple of businessmen here.

"I've just got a couple of businessmen here."

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Everybody knows you manage a band during office hours, Murray.

"Everybody knows you manage a band during office hours, Murray."

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- Hey, guys. - Hey, Greg.

"- Hey, guys. - Hey, Greg."

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I wear that T-shirt all the time.

"I wear that T-shirt all the time."

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Greg, we've still got mousepads, actually.

"Greg, we've still got mousepads, actually."

Flight of the Conchords

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