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Clips from Weeds - Dearborn-Again (S06E06)

"Listen, I live in Oregon. I'm just down here clearing up some family trust stuff."
Weeds
"Dodged all the reunions. Didn't really keep track of the old crowd,"
Weeds
"but seeing you now, I'm starting to regret it."
Weeds
"Do you wanna get a coffee or something?"
Weeds
"Relive the old horrors and humiliations of high school?"
Weeds
"Well, that sounds like no fun."
Weeds
"Nice to see you."
Weeds
"They fuck you up, your mom and dad."
Weeds
"They may not mean to, but they do."
Weeds
"They fill you with the faults they had and add some extra just for you."
Weeds
"It's sad, isn't it?"
Weeds
"One cup of coffee?"
Weeds
"My number."
Weeds
"That's very sweet, Ellis, but..."
Weeds
"You're a freshman, I'm a senior. It'd never work out."
Weeds
"Dork."
Weeds
"Look, sorry about ruining your prayer time in there."
Weeds
"Look, there's a militancy to our religion I'm just not yet simpatico with."
Weeds
"Passports. Are you buying or selling?"
Weeds
"Buying. I'm buying. Yeah, see, I knew. I'm a good judge of character."
Weeds
"The minute I laid eyes on you, I said, "That's a guy with connections.""
Weeds
"It is true. I can connect you with someone."
Weeds
"But it will cost $100. Cash."
Weeds
"Okay, yeah."
Weeds
"Go to 84720 Michigan Avenue. Ask for Sam. He's my uncle."
Weeds
"84720 Michigan Avenue. 84720 Michigan Avenue."
Weeds
"84720 Michigan Avenue. Ask for Sam."
Weeds
"No luck ditching the Jesus mobile. I think we're gonna have to come up..."
Weeds
"Don't confuse me. I got an address. 84-something-something Michigan Avenue."
Weeds
"Fuck! 8742..."
Weeds
"No. 842... God!"
Weeds
"This always happens to me! Ridiculous bad short-term memory. Damn it!"
Weeds
"84720."
Weeds
"I was an accountant. Numbers was my thing."
Weeds
"- What a douchebag. - Ask for Sam, my uncle. Uncle Sam."
Weeds
"- That bastard ripped me off. - Fucking Arabs."
Weeds
"All right, what now?"
Weeds
"We paint "Allah is awesome, love," on the side of the RV?"
Weeds
"Fuck!"
Weeds
"Fuck!"
Weeds
"Fuck! What the fuck?"
Weeds
"- Sorry. I didn't see your car. - My car?"
Weeds
"This is my home. I live here, fuckwad!"
Weeds
"Okay. No need to get nasty."
Weeds
"Yeah? Well, I made this fucking car!"
Weeds
"Twenty-three years on the assembly line, laid off!"
Weeds
"And you're an asshole!"
Weeds
"Hey, man, sorry we dented your house,"
Weeds
"but the damage does seem minimal"
Weeds
"and I'm guessing since you're living out of your car,"
Weeds
"you're probably not keeping up with the insurance payments,"
Weeds
"so what do you say we call it a day?"
Weeds
"Yeah? Fuck you! You could've killed my wife!"
Weeds
"And my kids!"
Weeds
"You okay, honey?"
Weeds
"You all right, buddy? You kids okay? You all right?"
Weeds
"Give me 100 bucks and we'll call it a day."
Weeds
"That seems to be the popular number today."
Weeds
"I'll tell you what."
Weeds
"We'll trade you the RV for the car."
Weeds
"Obviously, you need a home to raise your kids."
Weeds
"We need a car that gets more than eight gallons to the mile."
Weeds
"What's the catch?"
Weeds
"The catch is with this economy you have no hope at all of finding a job."
Weeds
"So, take it. Your kids need more than a ashtray to call their own."
Weeds
"Pack your things. We're moving out."
Weeds
"So, anything special we should know about the car?"
Weeds
"Yeah. Termites, asbestos. And the basement floods in the winter."
Weeds
"Fucking assholes."
Weeds
"Fair enough."
Weeds
"Ellis, Ellis..."
Weeds
"Tate..."
Weeds
"How's Mommy gonna move all this hash?"
Weeds
"No? No idea? You're no help. You're no help."
Weeds
"Wow."
Weeds
"That could work."
Weeds
"- Silas Guinard. Mike Guinard. - Shut up."
Weeds
"Just 'cause I'm blond doesn't mean Dad wasn't my dad."
Weeds
"- Andy's got light hair. - You think Andy's your dad?"
Weeds
"No, dipshit, I'm just saying maybe it skips a generation or something."
Weeds
"If that was the case, you'd have a Jewfro like Grandpa Lenny."
Weeds
"Yeah, well, we'll see."
Weeds
"This Schiff guy's a little out to lunch."
Weeds
"Lars could be black for all we know."
Weeds
"- It's Lars. Not DeLars. - Shut up."
Weeds
"This is his house."
Weeds
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Weeds
"You can't just ring some guy's doorbell and ask if he's someone's father."
Weeds
"Just chill."
Weeds
"Yo. Can I help you, bros?"
Weeds
"Yeah. We noticed your car's for sale."
Weeds
"Hey, yeah. Totally. She's a sweet ride. Real cherry."
Weeds
"Cool scooters."
Weeds
"You guys get those from SkyMall?"
Weeds
"Yeah. How'd you know?"
Weeds
"Ordered one last year, never showed up. Then I ordered another one, same thing."
Weeds
"Let me grab the keys."
Weeds
"He is so your fucking dad."
Weeds
"- Go to hell. - Yeah. Hell-sinki."
Weeds
"Fuck you."
Weeds
"- Must you stand over me like this? - Yes, I must."
Weeds
"I'm not good under pressure."
Weeds
"No, no, no! That's too much hash!"
Weeds
"This drink's supposed to be an upper, not a downer."
Weeds
"Right now the only thing acting like a downer is you."
Weeds
"Stand back. Let a master chemist do his thing."
Weeds
"Creating a new drug is a delicate art."
Weeds
"Gotta lift you up, but not too high or too fast."
Weeds
"Then, once afloat, it must keep you there with a steady hand all night."
Weeds
"And then once the complete experience has run its course,"
Weeds
"it has to gently lay you back to a peaceful and restful sleep."
Weeds
"It also has to fuck you up."
Weeds
"That, too. All right."
Weeds
"One part grain alcohol, dash of hash, a hint of Red Bull"
Weeds
"and a soupcon of my super secret ingredient."
Weeds
"Close your eyes. Turn around."
Weeds
"- Why? - 'Cause it's super secret."
Weeds
"Okay, Dr. Feelgood, let's get this high on the road."
Weeds
"Well..."
Weeds
"Okay."
Weeds
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