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Clips from Weeds - Dearborn-Again (S06E06)

"- Why do I have to do it? - Andy and I have errands to run."
Weeds
"Right."
Weeds
"Listen, is everything okay with you guys?"
Weeds
"'Cause I'm sensing a little trouble."
Weeds
"No. Everything's fine."
Weeds
"But if anybody asks I'm Nathalie, Shane is Shawn,"
Weeds
"Andy's Randy, Doug is Ted, Silas is Mike, and the baby's Avi."
Weeds
"Clear?"
Weeds
"So?"
Weeds
"What were you thinking? You go to Dearborn 'cause Arabs love hash?"
Weeds
"You been watching too many episodes of 24. No one does this shit anymore."
Weeds
"You're wrong. It's making a comeback. It's retro. Kids love retro."
Weeds
"These things are cyclical."
Weeds
"Look, I promote three of the hottest nights a week out of this space"
Weeds
"and, trust me, no kid comes here to smoke hash and get mellow."
Weeds
"They all wanna get cranked up, fuck like dogs."
Weeds
"So, unless you're packing E or blow, you're shit out of luck, Mommy."
Weeds
"I need up, not down."
Weeds
"Up, not down."
Weeds
"Hash. Belongs in a fucking museum."
Weeds
"Okay. Thank you for your time."
Weeds
"Boy, what a crowd."
Weeds
"I'm sure this isn't a fire hazard. Right?"
Weeds
"Mind if I kneel down next to you? Stretch the hip flexors a little bit?"
Weeds
"There we go. Okay, I'm ready."
Weeds
"I'm sort of a recent convert."
Weeds
"Prison, five-year stretch. I don't like to talk about it."
Weeds
"Found Allah. It was either that or go Aryan Nation,"
Weeds
"but those guys are just assholes."
Weeds
"Passports?"
Weeds
"Passports?"
Weeds
"Passports?"
Weeds
"Why do you keep saying this word? Please stop."
Weeds
"Passports?"
Weeds
"Passports?"
Weeds
"Passports?"
Weeds
"Hey. Wait, can I get my mat? It's a Manduka Pro."
Weeds
"This isn't very accepting of you."
Weeds
"The mosque up the street has much nicer carpets."
Weeds
"So you know."
Weeds
"- What the fuck is that? - Shut up. I'm concentrating."
Weeds
"It's a telekinetic obstacle course."
Weeds
"It measures theta waves like an EEG. It's kind of like shock therapy."
Weeds
"Not that I've ever had that."
Weeds
"It's not moving."
Weeds
"Stay focused."
Weeds
"So, Mr. Schiff,"
Weeds
"what was my mom like as a teenager?"
Weeds
"Well, she got straight A's in math."
Weeds
"An amazing gymnast and dancer."
Weeds
"We used to have this talent show"
Weeds
"where all the kids would choreograph these numbers and make money for the prom."
Weeds
"And Nancy stole the show."
Weeds
"I mean, she outshined everyone, including all the older girls."
Weeds
"She designed her own costume, which was this metallic,"
Weeds
"lavender, leotard thing"
Weeds
"which was so..."
Weeds
"Excellent."
Weeds
"You wouldn't have any pictures, would you?"
Weeds
"Check this out."
Weeds
"You keep a picture of our mom in your wallet?"
Weeds
"No. No, no, no, no. I just dug it out a few minutes ago to show it to you two."
Weeds
"- And if you don't believe me, I'm not crazy. - Nobody said you were."
Weeds
"So, what else can you tell us about her?"
Weeds
"Why don't I fetch the yearbook and you can see for yourself."
Weeds
"This is bullshit."
Weeds
"- Maybe it only works on positive energy. - Fuck you."
Weeds
"So, what do you think is in the locked room at the end of the hall?"
Weeds
"Probably a shrine to Mom."
Weeds
"Holy shit."
Weeds
"Yeah, here she is."
Weeds
"- Shane, check it out. - Hold on. I'm getting close."
Weeds
"That's weird. The guy next to her has his face marked out."
Weeds
"That's 'cause he was an idiot. Still is. I deliver his mail."
Weeds
"Lars Guinard."
Weeds
"The loser, asshole, do-nothing boyfriend of your mother's"
Weeds
"from the middle of junior high all the way through high school."
Weeds
"Really?"
Weeds
"She's never mentioned him."
Weeds
"She ever mention me?"
Weeds
"Holy fuck, it's levitating!"
Weeds
"What's this Lars guy look like?"
Weeds
"Blond-haired, lean, chisel-faced."
Weeds
"He looked like you."
Weeds
"Surprise!"
Weeds
"Was in the neighborhood. Decided to drop by."
Weeds
"Nice headstones."
Weeds
"Jill really went all out."
Weeds
"As usual. This is Avi. Stevie, whatever. Your grandchild."
Weeds
"Wanted you to meet him."
Weeds
"Sorry you never got a chance to meet Silas and Shane."
Weeds
"In retrospect, probably a mistake. But you started it."
Weeds
"You think my marrying a Jew was bad, you should meet this little guy's father."
Weeds
"Long story. Didn't work out so well. Won't bore you with the details."
Weeds
"Really liking this new side of you."
Weeds
"Less judgmental, more accepting, willing to listen."
Weeds
"If I weren't in the process of fleeing the country, I'd say we should do it more often."
Weeds
"Anyway..."
Weeds
"Anderson's Butterscotch. Your favorite."
Weeds
"Mom, sorry. I didn't get a chance to stop by a liquor store."
Weeds
"Say bye."
Weeds
"Excuse me, I'm totally lost."
Weeds
"Would you mind if I follow you back to the main office?"
Weeds
"I need to get one of those. Why didn't I get one of those?"
Weeds
"Dummy. Me, not you."
Weeds
"Your baby has your eyes. The shape, not the color."
Weeds
"I'm not a pervert, I promise. I'm just chatty"
Weeds
"and in desperate need of a map."
Weeds
"I'm done. Here. Take mine."
Weeds
"Nancy Price?"
Weeds
"Ellis Tate. From high school."
Weeds
"I was a freshman when you were a senior. I had a huge crush on you."
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"You had no idea I existed."
Weeds
"Sure. You look the same?"
Weeds
"Yeah. Sorry about your parents."
Weeds
"Mine are buried around here somewhere, too. Probably hiding from me."
Weeds
"But I'll find them."
Weeds
"Clearly I haven't exactly been a regular visitor around these parts,"
Weeds
"if you know what I mean."
Weeds
"Glad to see I'm not the only one."
Weeds
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