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Clips from The Goldbergs - A Chorus Lie (S03E03)

"Coach is on your team here."
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"That's why I pulled you aside to avoid embarrassment."
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"I guess I wish you would have pulled me aside just a little farther."
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"ADULT ADAM: I was eating like an animal and suddenly seeing"
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"every woman I came across in a new light."
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"You seen my, uh, TV guide with Sally Jessy Raphael on the cover?"
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"Mmm-mmm, nope."
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"Hmm."
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"Every woman."
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"Man, oh, man."
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"Those looks and emotional intelligence to boot?"
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"Whoa."
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"But worst of all, it affected my favorite activity in the world,"
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"the annual school musical."
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"Welcome, Mr. Goldberg."
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"I have a feeling that this might be the year"
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"that you finally break out of the chorus."
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"(PIANO PLAYING)"
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"¶ I'm watching sis go pitter pat"
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"¶ Said, I can do that, I can do that ¶"
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"ADULT ADAM: Turns out, I could not do that."
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"(SIGHS) Well, you, um... You really..."
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"Really sang it."
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"You sang it."
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"I know in past years I was upset when you put me in the chorus."
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"But I'm thinking this year, it feels right."
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"Done. You're in the chorus."
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"Oh, thank God."
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"Chorus line, which is a lead!"
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"But I'm in the chorus."
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"Line. Oh, thank God."
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"Which means you have a big solo."
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"But I'm in the chorus. Line."
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"But did you not hear the sounds I just made?"
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"Adam, every boy your age sounds like you."
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"And, honestly, I don't have that much to work with here,"
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"so I might as well just give the leads"
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"to the most enthusiastic kids."
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"Balls. Yeah, balls."
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"Okay, uh, let's take it from the top. Sing it with me."
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"BOTH: ¶ I'm watching sis go pitter pat"
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"Try to stay in the key."
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"¶ I'm watching sis go pitter pat"
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"You're kind of all over the map. Okay."
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"¶ I'm watching sis go pitter pat"
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"¶ I can do that ¶"
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"You know, it's mostly a dance show,"
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"and you bring a lot of dance energy."
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"You'll get it. Balls."
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"¶ I'm twisted up inside"
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"¶ But nonetheless I feel the need to say""
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"¶ I don't know the future"
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"¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was September 30, 1980-something,"
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"and my brother and his idiot posse, the JTP,"
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"were gearing up for the homecoming dance."
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"What's happening? What is this?"
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"Homecoming's in four days, so it's time to give my boys"
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"a crash-course lesson on how to groove like Milli Vanilli."
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"We all kind of told our dates that we could dance, so thank God for Barry."
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"No. Thank God for Milli."
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"Vanilli, not so much."
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"Wait, wait. You choose Milli over Vanilli?"
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"He's got the body and the moves."
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"Uh, if he's so great, then why isn't it Vanilli Milli?"
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"Milli proceeds Vanilli, so suck it."
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"You suck it. You suck it."
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"Wow, even you three boneheads found a date to the dance."
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"Kind of makes you think, huh?"
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"Like maybe you need a date for once?"
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"What are you talking about? I date. BARRY: No."
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"You third-wheel me and Lainey."
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"Look, the only reason why I haven't been on a date"
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"is because there's no one at our school worth dating."
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"Well, if you want to go to homecoming with me,"
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"I'll totally drop my foxy lady."
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"Your foxy lady's your cousin."
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"Second-cousin. Totally different blood line."
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"Probably not gonna do stuff, though."
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"She looks just like me with a perm."
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"Erica, you know I love you, but you're kind of closed off and way too picky."
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"I mean, stay away from Geoff, obviously,"
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"but you got to give someone a chance."
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"How is it my fault that every guy in our school is an unbearable moron?"
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"That's another thing. You've got to stop calling everyone a moron."
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"Morons! You're being too loud!"
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"Find another house to stupid up."
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"Oh. My. God. You're just like dad!"
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"Way to go, Mur-man."
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"Years of calling everyone on the planet a moron"
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"has poisoned your daughter's love life and left her cold and alone."
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"So you're telling me that I've raised a daughter"
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"who doesn't want to date dumbass high-school boys?"
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"I think I've done my job."
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"Come on. Let us help you find someone."
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"Go on. Describe your perfect guy."
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"Well, he'd be a mysterious handsome outsider"
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"with a trench coat, a sexy voice,"
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"and a thriving acting career where he plays the thinking girl's heartthrob."
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"Dude, you're just describing Christian Slater."
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"Seriously? You're a lost cause."
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"Well, you asked."
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"Look, if a guy like Christian Slater walks through that door,"
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"I promise you I will go with him to homecoming."
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"Christian Slater, huh?"
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"You want the coolest guy in the world? You got him."
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"What's that?"
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"Nothing, I just farted. I..."
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"I farted."
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"I fart... I gotta go."
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"ADULT ADAM: While Geoff was hatching a plan, I was out of options."
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"(GASPS) There's my tiny snuggle angel."
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"Stop it! I'm not tiny or snuggly or angel-y."
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"Tough day at the office, kiddo?"
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"The worst. I got the lead in the musical."
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"Schmoo, that's fantastic. That's all you've ever wanted."
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"Not anymore."
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"My face is breaking out, my pits are stinking,"
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"and my voice is very, very unpredictable."
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"I finally get the part of a lifetime,"
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