Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Farzar - Flammily Reunion (S01E01)

"Fichael, the time is finally here."
Farzar
"It's the day of your royal seating ceremony!"
Farzar
"Oh, I'm so pumped."
Farzar
"But what is a royal seating ceremony?"
Farzar
"I'm picturing something like this."
Farzar
"How many times we gotta tell you we can't see your goddamn thoughts?"
Farzar
"I'm just excited that my brothers and sisters are coming to Farzar"
Farzar
"to oversee the event."
Farzar
"Renzo, what are you doing?"
Farzar
"Making sure my tits are swole."
Farzar
"I've never met your family. I've got to make sure they like me."
Farzar
"Oh, I love it when you get insecure."
Farzar
"That really butters up Mama's cum-crumpet."
Farzar
"It does have a tender, flaky crust."
Farzar
"[fanfare plays]"
Farzar
"Presenting the rulers of the planets of the Zagloot system."
Farzar
"Well at least if your siblings don't like me, I'll charm their spouses."
Farzar
"Actually, in my family, siblings are the spouses."
Farzar
"We have a long, proud tradition of inbreeding."
Farzar
"Holy shit, this family is fuck--"
Farzar
"…ing awesome!"
Farzar
"It's like a free trip to the circus."
Farzar
"Hey, somebody dropped this."
Farzar
"Whoo!"
Farzar
"That's your Uncle Wig!"
Farzar
"Get your head out of his ass."
Farzar
"Blarf. Blarf. Blarf. Blarf, blarf, blarf."
Farzar
"At least he seems cool. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm--"
Farzar
"The lowlife that got our sister to reject centuries of tradition"
Farzar
"and tainted our perfect gene pool."
Farzar
"Pardon me, I seem to have gotten my period."
Farzar
"Tainted gene pool? Our son Fichael turned out fine."
Farzar
"Fine? He has the functioning hands of a peasant."
Farzar
"And his ears are on the outside."
Farzar
"And his ears are on the outside!"
Farzar
"[laughing]"
Farzar
"Flammy, it's a shame that you married this tall, muscle-bound cretin"
Farzar
"instead of your handsome ex-fiancé."
Farzar
"Handsome ex-fiancé? What handsome ex-fiancé?"
Farzar
"This handsome ex-fiancé."
Farzar
"Puppeteer, make me sashay into the room regally!"
Farzar
"Hello, high school sweetheart slash twin sister."
Farzar
"Oh, goddamn! Your ex is your twin brother?"
Farzar
"Splammy? I didn't think you'd come."
Farzar
"You made me come."
Farzar
"But enough about our tenth birthday. Mm."
Farzar
"You must be the new guy."
Farzar
"Puppeteer, make me point at that man"
Farzar
"with the intimidating intensity of a scorned lover."
Farzar
"Yes. Just like that."
Farzar
"[adventurous music playing]"
Farzar
"♪ Farzar ♪"
Farzar
"[smooth jazz music plays]"
Farzar
"Could this be any more romantic?"
Farzar
"-[farts] -Oh, Mal, stop farting!"
Farzar
"Don't tell me what to do. You know the schedule."
Farzar
"Till 9 p.m., I have the ass, you have the vagina."
Farzar
"So you've got the vagina till 9?"
Farzar
"It's 8:59. We can do it four times!"
Farzar
"Don't even think about it, mister. We're taking it slow."
Farzar
"Obviously. That's why I only said four times."
Farzar
"I've been cheated on before, Fichael, and I need to make sure that I can trust you."
Farzar
"Val, of course you can trust me,"
Farzar
"and I respect the fact that you want to take it slow."
Farzar
"Good, because I don't have sex with just anyone."
Farzar
"[alarm buzzing]"
Farzar
"Hey, it's 9 p.m."
Farzar
"You, rando guy, get over here and bang me hard."
Farzar
"Fichael, I've never told you this, but, well, I'm a virgin."
Farzar
"[Mal grunts] Give it to me hard, you bitch!"
Farzar
"[grunts]"
Farzar
"-Oh, yeah. -Are you sure you're a virgin?"
Farzar
"Yes, I've been saving my purity for someone special."
Farzar
"I've never had sex with anyone."
Farzar
"But aren't you having sex right now?"
Farzar
"No. Wait! Are you watching my sister have sex?"
Farzar
"See, this is why I can't trust you, Fichael."
Farzar
"You're probably going to cheat… on… me… too."
Farzar
"Val, I wouldn't trust this Fichael guy."
Farzar
"Never trust a guy with a weird name."
Farzar
"Take it from me. Bungo Hurpy-Slurpy."
Farzar
"So things aren't going well with Val?"
Farzar
"No, but at least Mal and Bungo are getting a long"
Farzar
"dildo to go up Bungo's ass."
Farzar
"That was strange place to pause."
Farzar
"Isn't your one-month anniversary tomorrow? You should take Val out for a nice dinner."
Farzar
"That's a great idea. I can take her out after my royal seating ceremony tonight."
Farzar
"Scootie, I could use some dating advice like that."
Farzar
"-I don't have any luck with the ladies. -Oh, why don't you try a dating app?"
Farzar
"Well, I did have a blind date last night. I got her in the sack."
Farzar
"-Sounds like it went well. -Tell her that."
Farzar
"[muffled speech]"
Farzar
"Do you just hate humans?"
Farzar
"Are you hardworking and expendable?"
Farzar
"I'm Bazarack, your Emperor Supreme,"
Farzar
"and I'm looking for a few good minions."
Farzar
"But I'm a goddamn ass goblin with a horse-faced wife."
Farzar
"Can I work for you?"
Farzar
"Sure, ass goblin!"
Farzar
"Head on over to bazarackkilldiedeath.com to sign up"
Farzar
"and soon, you'll also be saying…"
Farzar
"We love it here."
Farzar
"Fuck this place!"
Farzar
"-[grunts] -[yelps]"
Farzar
"Now maybe I'll get some real minions who are cold-blooded killers,"
Farzar
"not like you squishy pillow fuckers."
Farzar
"Hey, why haven't I gotten a single application from my website?"
Farzar
"That's because someone else owns bazarackkilldiedeath.com. See?"
Farzar
"Arts and crafts?"
Farzar
"They're selling arts and crafts on my URL?"
Farzar
"This is horrible!"
Farzar
"I don't know. They are selling some pretty sweet latch-hook dream catchers, Uncle B."
Farzar
"Quarf, if you weren't my nephew, I would murder your stupid ass."
Farzar
"[groans] I'll never forgive my sister for getting knocked up by an alligator."
Farzar
"Mom said my dad was a Komodo dragon."
Farzar
"Who knows? That squishy slut fucked half the swamp."
Farzar
"You know, I'm getting a little bit pissed here,"
Farzar
"because we had a meeting and I clearly said the word of the day is "squishy.""
Farzar
"Now, I've said it twice"
Farzar
"and I haven't seen no cheering, no screaming, or no confetti."
Farzar
Show more clips