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Clips from The Simpsons - The Book Job (S23E23)

"Our journey begins 65 million years ago"
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"or we could suffer the same fate as the dinosaurs."
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"no matter what we do, an asteroid's gonna wipe us out,"
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"full of whimsy and, uh..."
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"is a lie!"
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"I need to buy some carbon-offset credits"
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"A million bucks?!"
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"is written by five idiots"
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"And they just cash their checks and get away with it every time."
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"But this Babar needs a Zephyr."
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"A Zephyr? You're the Zephyr."
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"You've read their notes, searched their lockers--"
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"you know how tweens think."
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"Oh, no, thanks, gentlemen,"
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"I've got a nice, quiet life here"
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"you could get your own studio apartment."
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"Come on, beautiful, I can't do the job without you."
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"It's true. I'm fluent in every imaginary language,"
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"I wouldn't join one of your harebrained schemes"
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"I just adopted a capuchin monkey,"
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"Wait, wait, wait, I want in!"
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"What does your crew need, a safecracker?"
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"Hmm?"
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"missing too many meals."
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"A personal story my readers will connect with."
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"The heroes are all orphans."
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"but it's actually magic."
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"Okay? The vampire genre is sucked out."
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"Aah! A troll!"
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"which makes no sense called Fuzzlepitch!"
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"And lose the British accent."
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"But if I'm gonna use their free Internet,"
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"God, I love being a writer!"
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""Gregor turned to his twin sister,"
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"Who wants to see my cover ♪ mock-up?! ♪"
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"Writing is the hardest thing ever!"
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"Correction. Finished manuscript."
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"Let's acid melt him in a bathtub!"
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"I like the hook. What's the phony back story?"
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"I was raised in a traveling circus."
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"It was featured in The New Yorker's"
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"Congratulations."
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"Square as Golden Books, Pop."
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"But Lis, when this book comes out, you'll be beloved."
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"If they had been in charge of the Sistine Chapel,"
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"to join Team Schmul."
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"British Fonzie is right."
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"They can't do this to us. We've got to fight back!"
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"Now it's a dance contest at the vampire prom."
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"The establishment I work for delivers pizzas to everyone,"
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"of accepting or refusing delivery."
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"Where's the pizza?"
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"Whoo-hoo! All right!"
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"No, guys. It was me."
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"It's always a dame."
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"Now to enter the password and to authorize final publication."
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"when amazing creatures took their first steps."
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"It's so cute that all these children"
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"are excited to see their favorite dinosaurs."
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"Dinosaurs sing!"
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"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"
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"I paid $800 for five minutes!"
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"The dinosaurs ruled the Earth for millions of years,"
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"until a massive asteroid collided with the Earth,"
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"bringing their reign to an end."
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"So remember, take good care of the Earth,"
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"Ooh, kids, did you hear that lesson?"
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"How is that the lesson?"
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"The point of the dinosaurs is,"
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"so we should party hard and wreck the place!"
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"What? They've got a point."
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"Gift shop! Gift shop!"
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"All right, you can each have one toy."
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"Lisa has a big toy."
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"No fair. That means I get two small toys."
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"No fair. This isn't big, it's medium!"
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"No fair! Then I get four small toys and Lisa gets"
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"one medium and one small."
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"What?! He gets four and I only get two?"
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"No fair!"
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"All right, that's it! Forget it!"
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"No toys for anyone!"
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"Okay, Maggie gets a toy."
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"No fair! No fair!"
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"Choke on fossil poop!"
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"Hey, I know you."
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"Wait! Wait! Come back!"
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"Dad, follow that dinosaur!"
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"Coming through!"
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"Stegosaurus back plates, used for either defense"
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"or control of body temperature, coming through!"
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"So tired."
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"Go on without me."
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"You're T.R. Francis!"
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"You wrote"
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"the Angelica Button books."
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"They're my favorite fantasy novels."
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"Um, yes, it's me,"
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"the creator of your beloved magical world,"
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"chapters."
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"Now, off you go. Bye-bye, now."
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"But why are you working at a dinosaur show?"
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"And why did you run away from me?"
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"And how did Angelica get a new wand"
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"after Baron Mortdeath burned the Wandwood Forest? And..."
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"Look, you seem like a smart kid,"
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"so here's the truth."
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"T.R. Francis isn't real."
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"Of course you're real."
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"Everybody knows you got the idea for this series"
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"after an explosion at a crumpet factory"
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"knocked you off a double-decker bus."
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"How could that be made up?"
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"I'm just an actress they use for the jacket photo."
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"That inspirational life story is pure fiction."
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"Oh, I hate to break it to you,"
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"but all the books you kids love"
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"are conceived in executive boardrooms."
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"The plots are based on market research,"
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"and the pages are churned out"
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