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Clips from The Simpsons - The Ten-Per-Cent Solution (S23E23)

"Could this be more awkward?"
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"They took my dressing room, my parking space, even my writer,"
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"so I don't have a funny third item."
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"But at least I got you, my agent and best friend."
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"you'll know it's only business."
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"But we shared everything!"
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"Boats, girlfriends, condos."
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"And when I finished, every one of them was spic and span."
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"Krusty, I'm gonna prove that it's over."
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"What? I'm on your garage door opener?"
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"It's a smartphone, you out-of-it hack."
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"This only shuts the door."
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"I liked the knowledgeable docents."
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"I liked the early closing time."
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"Krusty?"
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"This morning I was a star, with a top agent."
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"Now I'm strung out in a ball pit!"
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"Go away."
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"Well, you're not exactly my hero."
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"I see you more as a cautionary tale."
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"What?!"
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"You're not licked, Krusty."
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"People love a comeback."
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"Look at Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke."
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"I don't know if I got it in me."
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"Well, people also love a quitter--"
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"Sarah Palin, The Beatles..."
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"Eh, it's hopeless without an agent."
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"We met a ten percenter today."
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"She'll get you meetings with the eye,"
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"the peacock, the alphabet web."
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"You'll have a skein on the sked before you can say"
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"A new agent?!"
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"I better freshen up."
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"Also better get back on those anti-psychotic meds."
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"It's the laugh of the most ungrateful,"
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"credit-grabbing,"
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"other-people's-room-service- eating man that I ever met."
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"I will never forgive you for what you did to me."
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"Krusty, you know her?"
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"Ms. Dubinsky, can you please just tell us"
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"why you hate Krusty?"
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"Come on in."
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"It's a long story."
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"Oh, now I hate him, too."
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"It was the mid '60s."
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"I was a virgin agent,"
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"looking for a first client or a fourth husband."
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"And then I saw him."
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"Hey-hey."
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"Scary world."
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"They start with the A-bomb, then skip right to the H-bomb."
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"These geniuses can blow up the planet,"
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"but they don't know the alphabet."
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"I knew he could be big."
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"He just needed some savvy fingers"
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"to mold his clay into an Ali."
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"Herschel, you killed them tonight!"
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"There wasn't a dry turtleneck in the house."
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"But mark my words:"
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"the bohemian crowd is small potatoes."
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"You're gonna have to broaden your act"
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"I don't want to play in Peoria."
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"They're always doing construction on Highway 74."
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"I mean, if you want to hit it big, you got to lose this..."
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"stick this on..."
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"How do I do that?"
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"Like so."
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"This is the best kind of comedy of all: cheap!"
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"Herschel, you are gonna get everything you want:"
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"money and women..."
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"ice for my ding-dong!"
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"And you."
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"Every night, he had them rolling in the aisles,"
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"followed by a roll in the hey-hey with me."
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"This is the part where I get the kids out of the room."
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"Oh, grow up."
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"Today's kids are less sensitive than an army condom."
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"They see more on TV than my mother did on her wedding night."
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"And they don't complain about it for the next 50 years."
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"I got big plans for us, Krusty."
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"This is just the beginning."
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"Actually, sweetheart, it's the end."
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"I'm leaving you for Ron Rabinowitz at United Parasites."
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"You waited until now to tell me that?!"
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"I can only tell the truth right after sex."
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"But all during sex I was thinking it."
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"Get out!"
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"You ungrateful pig!"
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"I made you!"
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"Deep down, I'm doing this to get back at my father."
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"Don't blame this on me."
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"Your childhood was heaven."
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"I was so mad at him"
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"I didn't have sex with a clown for five months."
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"Come on. I'm not made of stone."
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"Annie, would you ever consider taking Krusty back as a client?"
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"No! Absolutely not!"
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"Trust with me is like a candle."
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"When you blow it out, it's gone for good."
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"What about a comedy candle?"
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"You know, that relights itself?"
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"I don't find those funny, just frustrating."
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"They're pretty funny."
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"He was wishing for his parents to get back together,"
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"but the flame never went out."
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"Good one, boy."
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"Annie, I'm down on my rebuilt knee."
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"Can't you forgive me? Please?"
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"For the sake of me getting what I want?"
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"Fine. But no nonsense."
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"then it's all nonsense."
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"Great. So we're booked"
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"for three weeks in June at the Springfield Playhouse."
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"I promise you Krusty will show up on time or sober."
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"Yeah, that's right, I said "or.""
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"Let me get this straight:"
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"you want me to do my kids' show for adults?"
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"They're gonna want F-bombs and all I can give 'em is"
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""ca-ca" and "ta-tas.""
The Simpsons
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