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Clips from Scrubs - Their Story II (S08E08)

J.D.: Now that Dr. Cox was the Chief of Medicine,

"J.D.: Now that Dr. Cox was the Chief of Medicine,"

Scrubs

Maybe you could sell your eggs to a fertility clinic,

"Maybe you could sell your eggs to a fertility clinic,"

Scrubs

Better yet, you could make a list of all the people that you drive insane,

"Better yet, you could make a list of all the people that you drive insane,"

Scrubs

and tell them that, for a nominal fee, you'll never speak to them again.

"and tell them that, for a nominal fee, you'll never speak to them again."

Scrubs

and then after a while of you not talking to them,

"and then after a while of you not talking to them,"

Scrubs

people will forget just how annoying you are,

"people will forget just how annoying you are,"

Scrubs

and they'll let their subscription run out

"and they'll let their subscription run out"

Scrubs

and, bang, that's when you show up at their house,

"and, bang, that's when you show up at their house,"

Scrubs

you lay it on them that the price is now quadruple!

"you lay it on them that the price is now quadruple!"

Scrubs

J.D.: Still, I knew Dr. Cox heard me, and sometimes he came around.

"J.D.: Still, I knew Dr. Cox heard me, and sometimes he came around."

Scrubs

with a newfound sense of respect.

"with a newfound sense of respect."

Scrubs

Are you trying to hypnotize me? 'Cause that's not gonna work.

"Are you trying to hypnotize me? 'Cause that's not gonna work."

Scrubs

I'm already hypnotized.

"I'm already hypnotized."

Scrubs

that if I ever hear it, I'll just go completely unconscious.

"that if I ever hear it, I'll just go completely unconscious."

Scrubs

Is it sassafras?

"Is it sassafras?"

Scrubs

Yes! That was it?

"Yes! That was it?"

Scrubs

Here's your warning, if you start walking around here

"Here's your warning, if you start walking around here"

Scrubs

All right, guys, I'm gonna introduce you to a new intern now. This is Derek Hill.

"All right, guys, I'm gonna introduce you to a new intern now. This is Derek Hill."

Scrubs

Welcome-to-the-team five!

"Welcome-to-the-team five!"

Scrubs

Told you.

"Told you."

Scrubs

Guys, if I could have a second to...

"Guys, if I could have a second to..."

Scrubs

I think I'll be fine.

"I think I'll be fine."

Scrubs

I like you.

"I like you."

Scrubs

I am so mad at you.

"I am so mad at you."

Scrubs

Listen to me. You're the man around here now.

"Listen to me. You're the man around here now."

Scrubs

Haven't you had this fantasy before?

"Haven't you had this fantasy before?"

Scrubs

Did you make a disco ball out of my testicle?

"Did you make a disco ball out of my testicle?"

Scrubs

I can't believe he's buying this. It's going to be a fun day.

"I can't believe he's buying this. It's going to be a fun day."

Scrubs

Notice me. Notice me. Notice me.

"Notice me. Notice me. Notice me."

Scrubs

Wait, Derek.

"Wait, Derek."

Scrubs

What did you think of your first John Dorian presentation, as it were?

"What did you think of your first John Dorian presentation, as it were?"

Scrubs

the first time they heard Dr. King speak.

"the first time they heard Dr. King speak."

Scrubs

What are you doing?

"What are you doing?"

Scrubs

Sounds like my dad after a couple of martinis.

"Sounds like my dad after a couple of martinis."

Scrubs

Yeah, he actually does talk like that.

"Yeah, he actually does talk like that."

Scrubs

Hey, so, I've been thinking about it a lot,

"Hey, so, I've been thinking about it a lot,"

Scrubs

We should do a temporal artery biopsy on her.

"We should do a temporal artery biopsy on her."

Scrubs

- Crap. - Now,

"- Crap. - Now,"

Scrubs

Yes, please.

"Yes, please."

Scrubs

Watch out! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

"Watch out! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"

Scrubs

Remote control.

"Remote control."

Scrubs

A patient once complained that his room wasn't clean,

"A patient once complained that his room wasn't clean,"

Scrubs

so I stole the motor from his wheelchair.

"so I stole the motor from his wheelchair."

Scrubs

- What are you guys doing? - I needed a mint.

"- What are you guys doing? - I needed a mint."

Scrubs

Those aren't mints. Those are highly-concentrated mini urinal cakes.

"Those aren't mints. Those are highly-concentrated mini urinal cakes."

Scrubs

Not a huge selling point for urinal cakes, but thank you.

"Not a huge selling point for urinal cakes, but thank you."

Scrubs

Apology accepted.

"Apology accepted."

Scrubs

And that's 32 new friends. Plus, he's not as weird as they say.

"And that's 32 new friends. Plus, he's not as weird as they say."

Scrubs

Crap, it's his camp counselor face. Please don't try to make me open up.

"Crap, it's his camp counselor face. Please don't try to make me open up."

Scrubs

They're not just for holding up my shades.

"They're not just for holding up my shades."

Scrubs

Fine. I wanted to do a temporal artery biopsy on a patient,

"Fine. I wanted to do a temporal artery biopsy on a patient,"

Scrubs

but she'll never take an intern's medical opinion.

"but she'll never take an intern's medical opinion."

Scrubs

Just like I'm not proud of the fact that just because I stand up to Dr. Cox,

"Just like I'm not proud of the fact that just because I stand up to Dr. Cox,"

Scrubs

How about that?

"How about that?"

Scrubs

so I rigged the elevator to give them a little bit of a scare.

"so I rigged the elevator to give them a little bit of a scare."

Scrubs

Get me out of here!

"Get me out of here!"

Scrubs

The neck line is so cute.

"The neck line is so cute."

Scrubs

Oh, my God, we get it. You have vaginas!

"Oh, my God, we get it. You have vaginas!"

Scrubs

Denise, if you'd studied her case history,

"Denise, if you'd studied her case history,"

Scrubs

She was born without a vagina.

"She was born without a vagina."

Scrubs

Okay. I'm pissed right now, but that was pretty awesome.

"Okay. I'm pissed right now, but that was pretty awesome."

Scrubs

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Scrubs

I'm just frustrated. I really think we should do the biopsy.

"I'm just frustrated. I really think we should do the biopsy."

Scrubs

Oh, please, not this again.

"Oh, please, not this again."

Scrubs

and we don't catch it early, she could go blind.

"and we don't catch it early, she could go blind."

Scrubs

but what if I started telling people that I wished you were my older sister?

"but what if I started telling people that I wished you were my older sister?"

Scrubs

I'll still take it.

"I'll still take it."

Scrubs

I just got to go check my messages at the front desk.

"I just got to go check my messages at the front desk."

Scrubs

I know what you're thinking, Derek.

"I know what you're thinking, Derek."

Scrubs

You're thinking J.D.'s a ridiculous, arrogant tool.

"You're thinking J.D.'s a ridiculous, arrogant tool."

Scrubs

He didn't ask for this position. So cut him some slack, okay?

"He didn't ask for this position. So cut him some slack, okay?"

Scrubs

We did it! Dr. Cox is hiring more nurses.

"We did it! Dr. Cox is hiring more nurses."

Scrubs

Okay, keep it going a little bit longer.

"Okay, keep it going a little bit longer."

Scrubs

Come on, man, hold it together.

"Come on, man, hold it together."

Scrubs

You know, if we do hook up tonight,

"You know, if we do hook up tonight,"

Scrubs

for once you won't be the only one thinking about J.D.

"for once you won't be the only one thinking about J.D."

Scrubs

- You're bigger than I remember. - Thanks.

"- You're bigger than I remember. - Thanks."

Scrubs

It's simple. I don't mess with you because I don't think you can take it.

"It's simple. I don't mess with you because I don't think you can take it."

Scrubs

You're not strong enough.

"You're not strong enough."

Scrubs

Just stay quiet. Don't get sucked into their petty mess.

"Just stay quiet. Don't get sucked into their petty mess."

Scrubs

Come on, buddy. Let's go get a beer.

"Come on, buddy. Let's go get a beer."

Scrubs

Okay, yesterday wasn't great.

"Okay, yesterday wasn't great."

Scrubs

- I don't want to talk about it, baby. - But why not?

"- I don't want to talk about it, baby. - But why not?"

Scrubs

You want some side-boob?

"You want some side-boob?"

Scrubs

He won't do anything to me. He thinks I'm too weak.

"He won't do anything to me. He thinks I'm too weak."

Scrubs

It's a true story. Well, actually not the head of lettuce so much

"It's a true story. Well, actually not the head of lettuce so much"

Scrubs

as the pack of sewer rabbits that he stole it from.

"as the pack of sewer rabbits that he stole it from."

Scrubs

As it turned out, the Janitor lied to me about being hypnotized.

"As it turned out, the Janitor lied to me about being hypnotized."

Scrubs

Paige's biopsy is negative. Great.

"Paige's biopsy is negative. Great."

Scrubs

Now in French.

"Now in French."

Scrubs

I told you so, I told you so, I told you so

"I told you so, I told you so, I told you so"

Scrubs

Yeah, I'm not gonna do the splits here

"Yeah, I'm not gonna do the splits here"

Scrubs

'cause this floor's disgusting and I'm wearing a thong.

"'cause this floor's disgusting and I'm wearing a thong."

Scrubs

Robot told you so

"Robot told you so"

Scrubs

But at least we know now. No harm done.

"But at least we know now. No harm done."

Scrubs

Paige, what are you doing?

"Paige, what are you doing?"

Scrubs

So don't feel guilty about her, okay?

"So don't feel guilty about her, okay?"

Scrubs

It was my decision. I'm the one who has to feel guilty.

"It was my decision. I'm the one who has to feel guilty."

Scrubs

Last time you talked to this guy,

"Last time you talked to this guy,"

Scrubs

Unless his ego is so big he thought you were serious.

"Unless his ego is so big he thought you were serious."

Scrubs

It's hard for him because he's used to being the big shot.

"It's hard for him because he's used to being the big shot."

Scrubs

Oh, my God, is that why Turk is being such a pain?

"Oh, my God, is that why Turk is being such a pain?"

Scrubs

He can be the biggest baby.

"He can be the biggest baby."

Scrubs

And now it's worse.

"And now it's worse."

Scrubs

my new promotion and subsequent interaction with you

"my new promotion and subsequent interaction with you"

Scrubs

You're being an idiot.

"You're being an idiot."

Scrubs

And the wife is upset, too? Hotdiggity.

"And the wife is upset, too? Hotdiggity."

Scrubs

Scintillating. Get out.

"Scintillating. Get out."

Scrubs

Free at last.

"Free at last."

Scrubs

Who is the Janitor to judge me?

"Who is the Janitor to judge me?"

Scrubs

He doesn't know me.

"He doesn't know me."

Scrubs

I never asked Elliot to take the blame.

"I never asked Elliot to take the blame."

Scrubs

I just wanted you to know that even though Dr. Reid took the blame,

"I just wanted you to know that even though Dr. Reid took the blame,"

Scrubs

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Scrubs

Anyway, you were saying?

"Anyway, you were saying?"

Scrubs

You know how hard it is to walk around this hospital like this?

"You know how hard it is to walk around this hospital like this?"

Scrubs

When sometimes, inside, I feel like this.

"When sometimes, inside, I feel like this."

Scrubs

Then why didn't you get me back?

"Then why didn't you get me back?"

Scrubs

Have you been obsessing about this? Maybe unable to sleep?

"Have you been obsessing about this? Maybe unable to sleep?"

Scrubs

You guys really want to know what I think?

"You guys really want to know what I think?"

Scrubs

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