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Clips from Scrubs - His Story II (S03E03)

"God, that's a fun phrase. I have to meet Dr Cox in five..."
Scrubs
"Hey, research buddy."
Scrubs
"Things Jordan says during sex!"
Scrubs
"Things you say when you talk to your patients."
Scrubs
"- Clever. - Don't bother with that."
Scrubs
"I've been getting my hair cut by my barber for 17 years now."
Scrubs
"A concussion."
Scrubs
"Not worth it."
Scrubs
"- Fine, don't lick them. - Come on, don't get mad at Turk."
Scrubs
"Thank God she thinks that hot chick Tina I invited is my cousin."
Scrubs
"Guess what? There's no blood there, baby."
Scrubs
"I wanted to see the invites mailed."
Scrubs
"I wish you were here. I can't believe you've been away for five months."
Scrubs
"- It's four am here. - I'm sorry."
Scrubs
"that weird way you sleep with your eyes open."
Scrubs
"I'll spend the next ten years introducing you"
Scrubs
"Brian, Dr Turk will take you back to your room."
Scrubs
"- Did you mind that cocky stuff? - No. I love Bri-Bri."
Scrubs
"I never had a nickname before."
Scrubs
"Dr Miller, I am attending a hospital administrators' luncheon this afternoon."
Scrubs
"that is Bob Kelso."
Scrubs
"Gosh darn it, Perry, you are entertaining."
Scrubs
"You know, like Howie Mandel or a monkey in a funny hat."
Scrubs
"Check out Cox and Kelso fighting over Dr New Girl."
Scrubs
"She'll have to get a car you drive with your feet."
Scrubs
"Never, ever, do anything with Bob Kelso."
Scrubs
"Don't talk to him, don't even associate with guys his age"
Scrubs
"I'll remember that. Not the crazy, "where-is-he-going-with-this" ranting"
Scrubs
"Nurse Espinosa, would you mind getting me some sugar, stat?"
Scrubs
"Why, yes, doctor."
Scrubs
"- No, we're getting married. - The invitations went out today."
Scrubs
"Yes. You know they did. Invitations went out today."
Scrubs
"Why?"
Scrubs
"Annie, you are a shoo-in for the little girl X-Games."
Scrubs
"Anyone seen Dr Kelso? We're supposed to be leaving."
Scrubs
"Just the one that goes off when I'm bored."
Scrubs
"Well, Brad, I'm the type of clown that likes to wear tight pants."
Scrubs
"What other clown?"
Scrubs
"What can I say to let her know I'm in control?"
Scrubs
"- Have you ever slept with a black man? - Just finish the procedure."
Scrubs
"And there it is."
Scrubs
"You lacerated the brachial artery. Move out of the way."
Scrubs
"You made a mistake. Every one of us has made a mistake."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Bri-Bri, what's the happy-haps? - My hand is feeling really weird."
Scrubs
"About that..."
Scrubs
"I'm not really too sure on the specifics but there were some complications."
Scrubs
"or is it that you no longer have a soul? Kelso wanted you at that dinner"
Scrubs
"cos he knows standing next to a pretty doctor"
Scrubs
"I'm joking. There are no rumours."
Scrubs
"I don't know yet."
Scrubs
"- Dr Dorian? - OK, let's take a little break, kids."
Scrubs
"You steal my research project and now you want me to do your dirty work?"
Scrubs
"That watch you gave me might still be inside Mr Conti, but nothing like this."
Scrubs
"No, I didn't."
Scrubs
"You're just upset because it's never easy to give someone bad news."
Scrubs
"We were unable to save him. I'm so sorry."
Scrubs
"Again, I'm very sorry."
Scrubs
"You were a clown for me?"
Scrubs
"So I didn't tell him. It's not like it changes anything."
Scrubs
"Christopher!"
Scrubs
"I called that new cute nurse a "young Carla Espinosa","
Scrubs
"She knows I haven't mailed the invites."
Scrubs
"- Get in there. - OK."
Scrubs
"just so you can get your picture in Bendover Weekly."
Scrubs
"I don't go to camp. If Kelso had asked me to go somewhere"
Scrubs
"I thought was good for my career, I'd be gone so fast"
Scrubs
"who don't do his bidding, when you were writing me off just for having lunch."
Scrubs
"So, how are you any different?"
Scrubs
"Feel free to watch me leave."
Scrubs
"You did it."
Scrubs
"What a long day."
Scrubs
"by drinking a few cold ones with a good friend."
Scrubs
"Awesome, Judge Dredd is starting."
Scrubs
"Fine, I'll get it."
Scrubs
"Well, I have something to show you later."
Scrubs
"Today's gonna be a great day. Still, no time to dilly-dally."
Scrubs
"That may be the future Mrs..."
Scrubs
"We're four seconds in and I'm already regretting my decision."
Scrubs
"- Are those the charts I wanted? - No..."
Scrubs
"They're the charts, plus patient history charts from the last ten years"
Scrubs
"Is it because his prices have remained the same? No."
Scrubs
"Is it because I like the way his man-breasts feel"
Scrubs
"gently resting on my shoulders when he does my sideburns? A little. Yes."
Scrubs
"It's either my way or the highway"
Scrubs
"and since as you've already broken that dictum, you're out."
Scrubs
"No, wait! I already got my shifts covered for the next two days."
Scrubs
"Where will you find somebody else? You think Lonnie"
Scrubs
"gives a rat's ass about acute thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura?"
Scrubs
"- ATTP? It killed my father. - You're in."
Scrubs
"It is gonna be so amazing working on the disease that tore my family apart."
Scrubs
"I guess I could go home, but there's important stuff to do around here."
Scrubs
"- You got the fellowship? - I get to be the clown in Paediatrics."
Scrubs
"Hey, that old clown was really good, so, you got some really big shoes to fill."
Scrubs
"Dammit, I'm funny."
Scrubs
"- Yes, he hits it at the buzzer! - Oh, no, he didn't."
Scrubs
"My tongue is dry. How many more of these invites do I have to lick?"
Scrubs
"What's bugging me is that thanks to Dr Cox"
Scrubs
"I've got nothing to do. Nothing to talk about. No stories to tell."
Scrubs
"- She's my brother's wife. - That's convenient."
Scrubs
"And by the way, don't think for a second that your "cousin" Tina"
Scrubs
"is gonna be sitting at our table."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God she's in my head. It's OK. Use it to your advantage."
Scrubs
"- Thanks for driving me to work. - Are you kidding?"
Scrubs
"I'm just mad I forgot my camera. Or did I?"
Scrubs
"- It's OK, just drop them in here. - I don't wanna."
Scrubs
"If you're nervous, come here"
Scrubs
"Sean, I might not be able to do the clown thing today."
Scrubs
"It's starting to seem like that was a giant waste of time."
Scrubs
"Sean? Sean?"
Scrubs
"Stop it. Just cos you're panicked"
Scrubs
"you don't have to reduce every woman to her physical attributes."
Scrubs
"Great. My new scary boss, and her amazing chest, butt and feet."
Scrubs
"Whoa-hoa, Bri-Bri? You have just won the lottery."
Scrubs
"I'm not saying I'm good but if there was a surgeon award show around here,"
Scrubs
"it'd be called The Turkies. You know what I'm saying?"
Scrubs
"You don't have to know what he's saying. None of us do."
Scrubs
"May I have a quick moment? Excuse us."
Scrubs
"What now, you mean witch?"
Scrubs
"If you act like that in front of one of our patients again,"
Scrubs
"as the guy who sponges off my forehead. OK, we're done."
Scrubs
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