Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from The Simpsons - The Dad Who Knew Too Little (S14E14)

"One day while flying your spaceship, you saw a planet and decided to land."
The Simpsons
"Welcome, earthling."
The Simpsons
"What are your hobbies?"
The Simpsons
"Being quiet during trips, clapping with songs and diabetes."
The Simpsons
"Sounds like fun."
The Simpsons
"Hey, your kid is in the movie."
The Simpsons
"And the movie knows his name."
The Simpsons
"Maybe Lisa will like this better than the diary."
The Simpsons
"A laser pointer."
The Simpsons
"Thanks, Bart."
The Simpsons
"It's really cool."
The Simpsons
"Hmm. There appears to be a red dot on my trouser front."
The Simpsons
"Hey, buddy. You better get that red dot checked out."
The Simpsons
"I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."
The Simpsons
"Could it be some kind of book?"
The Simpsons
"Well, yes and no."
The Simpsons
"- Mostly no. - Wha...?"
The Simpsons
"But it's a personalized video..."
The Simpsons
"...about my favorite little star, Lisa Simpson."
The Simpsons
"- Howdy, partners. - My name is Sheriff..."
The Simpsons
"McNuggets."
The Simpsons
"I don't like McNuggets. I'm a vegetarian."
The Simpsons
"Still? Then you're not gonna like your other present."
The Simpsons
"- Bad news, Sheriff... - Lisa Simpson."
The Simpsons
"Mm, McNuggets."
The Simpsons
"I'll get those no good Indians..."
The Simpsons
"...just as sure as my favorite book is..."
The Simpsons
"Magazines."
The Simpsons
"- Wake up, Dad. - Eh... What?"
The Simpsons
"Dad, that information is all wrong."
The Simpsons
"Maggie's a baby, not my best friend."
The Simpsons
"Oh, what have I done?"
The Simpsons
"Good morning, honey."
The Simpsons
"Oh, Lisa's still mad at me."
The Simpsons
"I did it for the insurance money."
The Simpsons
"Hmph."
The Simpsons
"Look, Lisa, I'm still trying to get to know you."
The Simpsons
"It's too late."
The Simpsons
"But I'm full of questions."
The Simpsons
"What's your favorite cigar size?"
The Simpsons
"Is it Robusto? Is it?"
The Simpsons
"Oh. My daughter hates me because I don't know anything about her."
The Simpsons
"Ah. Well, whenever I gotta know something about a broad, I use this guy."
The Simpsons
"This detective is unbelievable."
The Simpsons
"...than you could from years of intimacy."
The Simpsons
"Well, if hiring this guy will make Lisa like me again, then I'll do it."
The Simpsons
"- Can I get this beer to go? - Sure."
The Simpsons
"- "Drunk cop." Is that you? - No. Look lower."
The Simpsons
"- Ooh, pie. - What can I do for you?"
The Simpsons
"- How did you know? - It's always a dame."
The Simpsons
"And then they're only napping."
The Simpsons
"Priceless."
The Simpsons
"I need you to find out everything about my daughter..."
The Simpsons
"Okay. I'll get a line on your kid."
The Simpsons
"I charge 50 bucks a day, plus expenses."
The Simpsons
"Now, if you need to reach me, my e-mail is chunkylover53@aol."
The Simpsons
"Chunky lover 53."
The Simpsons
"- It's one word. - One word."
The Simpsons
"- Chunkylover53. - At AOL."
The Simpsons
"Dot-com."
The Simpsons
"Hey, that's not your locker."
The Simpsons
"I need to see Lisa Simpson's permanent record."
The Simpsons
"These are some nice-looking papers on your desk."
The Simpsons
"It would be a shame if somebody shuffled them."
The Simpsons
"Oh, really?"
The Simpsons
"No!"
The Simpsons
"Get bent, shamus. I got what you're looking for."
The Simpsons
"- Nice. Very nice. - Now give me back what's mine."
The Simpsons
"Ah. My picture with Snow White."
The Simpsons
"Shut up. Some of us prefer illusion to despair."
The Simpsons
"Lisa Simpson is a girl at my school."
The Simpsons
"About Lisa."
The Simpsons
"Someone's already worked this guy over."
The Simpsons
"So far, so good."
The Simpsons
"Huh?"
The Simpsons
"Is that Miles Davis' Birth of the Cool?"
The Simpsons
"Wait, wait. I thought you might like to go to an animal rights protest today."
The Simpsons
"Well, maybe."
The Simpsons
"Ice cream."
The Simpsons
"The gradual phase out of animal testing..."
The Simpsons
"...over the next three years."
The Simpsons
"When do we want it?"
The Simpsons
"Uh, young lady, why are you protesting today?"
The Simpsons
"Because this lab is cruelly testing consumer products on animals."
The Simpsons
"They're making monkeys smoke cigarettes."
The Simpsons
"And look at the way..."
The Simpsons
"The animal rights protest, a visit to the Museum of Sadness and Oppression."
The Simpsons
"I mean, after all, I am your father."
The Simpsons
"How'd you think of such perfect things for us to do? Did Mom help you?"
The Simpsons
"Mom? Don't you think I could read the report by myself?"
The Simpsons
"- What report? - The... Uh..."
The Simpsons
"Well, uh, report is a daddy word that means "loves his daughter.""
The Simpsons
"You read the "loves his daughter" by yourself?"
The Simpsons
"You did it. Lisa thinks I'm the greatest."
The Simpsons
"I might even put you to work on Bart and Maggie."
The Simpsons
"Go super dad on all their asses."
The Simpsons
"I believe there's still the matter of my expenses."
The Simpsons
"A thousand dollars?"
The Simpsons
"- How did you spend a thousand dollars? - It's itemized."
The Simpsons
"A $40 steak?"
The Simpsons
"But if I'd eaten the whole thing, it would've been free."
The Simpsons
"You've been living like a king on my dollar."
The Simpsons
"Super-unleaded gas. Silver bullets?"
The Simpsons
"I was working under the theory that your daughter was a werewolf."
The Simpsons
"- Didn't pan out. - I can't believe a man who agreed..."
The Simpsons
"...to follow my daughter around for money..."
The Simpsons
"...would turn out to be a dirtbag."
The Simpsons
"You'll regret the day you went to the expensive coffee place."
The Simpsons
"Breaking news at the Screaming Monkey Research Labs..."
The Simpsons
"...where test animals have been freed by unknown activists."
The Simpsons
"Uh, yes. Yes, I do, Kent. This is a horrible crime."
The Simpsons
"One that... Ha, ha."
The Simpsons
"Cut it out, Lou. I..."
The Simpsons
"He's making funny faces."
The Simpsons
"Sorry, chief. One of these monkeys has the same name as my ex-wife."
The Simpsons
"Chief, do you have any suspects at this time?"
The Simpsons
"...a saxophone reed..."
The Simpsons
"...and a book report on The Secret Garden by Lisa Simpson."
The Simpsons
"What does this tell you?"
The Simpsons
"Well, apparently, there's a secret garden in all of us."
The Simpsons
Show more clips