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Clips from Friends - The One with the Fake Monica (S01E01)

"Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things."
Friends
"Oh, really? Let's compare, shall we?"
Friends
"Oh, it's so late for "shall we?""
Friends
"Do I take classes at The New School?"
Friends
"- No. - No."
Friends
"This is so unfair."
Friends
"She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother."
Friends
"No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral."
Friends
"Joey Switzerland?"
Friends
"Which I'm not!"
Friends
"Stalin."
Friends
"- Well, it does not ring a bell with me. - Huh."
Friends
"Joe Stalin."
Friends
"You know, that's pretty good."
Friends
"- You might want to try Joseph. - Ah!"
Friends
"Joseph Stalin!"
Friends
"Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"Hi."
Friends
"Um, I'm taking classes with you, and I was wondering what they were."
Friends
"All right, great."
Friends
"Great. Thanks a lot."
Friends
"So you can dance with the woman that stole your card?"
Friends
"She's got my life. I want to see who she is."
Friends
"Honey, you're kind of losing it here."
Friends
"This is really becoming a weird obsession."
Friends
"This is madness, I tell you."
Friends
"Lots of things."
Friends
"- May I help you? - Oh, no, thanks."
Friends
"You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class!"
Friends
"What does she mean?"
Friends
"...a dance class!""
Friends
"She could be you."
Friends
"Okay, I'm not getting this!"
Friends
"What? You just click when they click."
Friends
"RACHEL & PHOEBE: Aww."
Friends
"It's okay, it's okay! I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry I'm late."
Friends
"So who's the new tense girl?"
Friends
"- Hi, I'm Monica. - Hi."
Friends
"Monica."
Friends
"Nana."
Friends
"- Monana? - Yeah."
Friends
"It's Dutch."
Friends
"[SPEAKING IN DUTCH]"
Friends
"Um, Pennsylvania Dutch."
Friends
"She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone, is she?"
Friends
"Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity."
Friends
"Hey, he beat you!"
Friends
"What does this mean?"
Friends
"I have to give him up."
Friends
"You just got him. How could he be an adult already?"
Friends
"I know, I know. One day he's this little thing..."
Friends
"...to some monkey loving..."
Friends
"...he's just gonna get vicious."
Friends
"I just gotta get him into a zoo."
Friends
"We're applying to a lot of them. Our first choice would be a state zoo."
Friends
"You know, like, uh, San Diego."
Friends
"But that may just be a pipe dream because he's out-of-state."
Friends
"My vet knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility."
Friends
"- Hi. - We found the girl!"
Friends
"Nope. We took her to lunch."
Friends
"Are you insane? This woman stole from you!"
Friends
"She stole! She's a stealer!"
Friends
"After you're with this woman for 10 minutes, you forget all that."
Friends
"...with this amazing spirit!"
Friends
"- Take off their hats. - Popes in a Volkswagen!"
Friends
"It was so wild."
Friends
"We told them we were the Gunnersons in room 615..."
Friends
"So when they caught on to the fact that we're short and have breasts..."
Friends
"...tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show."
Friends
"Excuse me?"
Friends
"There's an open call for Cats."
Friends
"I'm not like you. I can't even stand in front of a tap class."
Friends
"That's because of your Amish background."
Friends
"Right."
Friends
"Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned."
Friends
"And then one day, I saw a movie that changed my life."
Friends
"- Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? - Uh-huh."
Friends
"...boring!"
Friends
"...kills himself because he can't be in the play?"
Friends
"What was that?"
Friends
"It's like, "Kid, wait a year. Leave home, do some community theater!""
Friends
""Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back!""
Friends
"Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire."
Friends
"See?"
Friends
"I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it."
Friends
"Good boy!"
Friends
"See? How can nobody want him?"
Friends
"Somebody will."
Friends
"Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people!"
Friends
"- You'd think you would've known that! - You'd think I would've."
Friends
"[CLEARS THROAT]"
Friends
"Flame Boy!"
Friends
"- Yes. - Yes. Uh..."
Friends
"Does he, uh, fight with other animals?"
Friends
"Um, how is he at handling small objects?"
Friends
"He can hold a banana, if that's what you mean."
Friends
"If he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns..."
Friends
"...you got to give the little guy something."
Friends
"- What? - Yeah."
Friends
"San Diego! San Diego! Yeah!"
Friends
"Monica and I just crashed an embassy party."
Friends
"Are you drunk?"
Friends
"I'm lying."
Friends
"I've been up here. I've been worried..."
Friends
"Monica?"
Friends
"Water rules!"
Friends
"Yes. Yes, it does."
Friends
"The restaurant called. They want to know if you're showing up."
Friends
"What are you doing? You're gonna lose your job. This is not you!"
Friends
"No, it is me!"
Friends
"I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows..."
Friends
"Ahem, Monana, it's for you."
Friends
"Thanks."
Friends
"What?"
Friends
"They've arrested Monica."
Friends
"- Hi. - Hey."
Friends
"How are you?"
Friends
"Because..."
Friends
"It was my credit card you were using."
Friends
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