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Clips from Scrubs - My Heavy Meddle (S01E01)

"is what happens after you break up with a co-worker."
Scrubs
"Try as hard as you can to avoid them, you're bound to run into 'em one day."
Scrubs
"- You don't even play sports. - This helps me to relieve stress!"
Scrubs
"Hence, girl problems. Watch your nails."
Scrubs
"So if one relationship ends, there are others around you can rely on."
Scrubs
"- Dr Cox, I was wondering... - I'd say you're about a B-cup."
Scrubs
"He did?"
Scrubs
"My high school teacher, Mr Peters, died."
Scrubs
"My favourite high school teacher just died."
Scrubs
"If I see more broken-down equipment,"
Scrubs
"And mark my words, newbie, if I ever pull it off,"
Scrubs
"I will be back here to destroy this place."
Scrubs
"And the lab tech is nowhere to be found,"
Scrubs
"dumb-ass.''"
Scrubs
"- Why? What'd you do? - Carla had to work, so I scarfed down"
Scrubs
"You are not gonna believe what Dr Cox..."
Scrubs
"If this is a peripheral vascular disease study,"
Scrubs
"I'm gonna go to bed."
Scrubs
"Close enough. Glad you called."
Scrubs
"They're like sexy little forehead smiles."
Scrubs
"Careful, I've been hurt before."
Scrubs
"don't get caught in his wake, because he'll take you down."
Scrubs
"Downtown."
Scrubs
"All the way?"
Scrubs
"Dear Lord, please tell me that's not a onesie."
Scrubs
"We can finish the synopsis for chapter four,"
Scrubs
"I'm wearing special underwear too. They're invisible."
Scrubs
"Todd, I'm just kinda busy here."
Scrubs
"All the project geeks are busy working tonight."
Scrubs
"All the surgical interns picked a project geek from Medical"
Scrubs
"What's that on your finger?"
Scrubs
"It's a rubber thingy to help me turn the pages..."
Scrubs
"Excuse me, nurse. I'm ready for my sponge bath."
Scrubs
"It's just that I feel somebody needs to take care of this guy."
Scrubs
"- Yucky. - Yucky?"
Scrubs
"I'm drinking with a mouseketeer."
Scrubs
"If you're not gonna talk to me, what's the point of sitting alone in a bar?"
Scrubs
"Excuse me, ladies. Do you know anybody who might like a couple of free drinks?"
Scrubs
"You know what?"
Scrubs
"The hell with you, Chris Turk."
Scrubs
"I thought I told you not to play that in the house... Hospital."
Scrubs
"We had two good years and two bad years, but not all at once."
Scrubs
"Thanks for coming out, newbie."
Scrubs
"I am not fine."
Scrubs
"We're out here because if I go home and go to sleep,"
Scrubs
"the only thing I'll be able to think about is I gotta go back to that place."
Scrubs
"Honest to God, I got nothing. I'm cooked."
Scrubs
"It's different. He showed up at my place."
Scrubs
"but I connected with the guy, and there is no way"
Scrubs
"Todd?"
Scrubs
"No one ever expects me to be anywhere."
Scrubs
"Aw, Ted."
Scrubs
"She knows your name."
Scrubs
"I'll acknowledge there have been occasions during my tenure..."
Scrubs
"You can't cry on my shoulder then pretend nothing happened."
Scrubs
"- No crying. - Good boy."
Scrubs
"to purchasing some non-bunching panties."
Scrubs
"- He's a girl. - Good boy."
Scrubs
"to get out of here before I grab you by your ankles"
Scrubs
"and redecorate Franklyn's lab."
Scrubs
"Please go."
Scrubs
"Wolverines!"
Scrubs
"This isn't about his assets."
Scrubs
"This is about executing his last living requests."
Scrubs
"So no money at all?"
Scrubs
"Not a dime, kiddo."
Scrubs
"You don't deal with problems the way emotionally healthy people do."
Scrubs
"If you ever were able to actually"
Scrubs
"release all the tensions that are bottled up inside of you,"
Scrubs
"How you like me now, bitch?"
Scrubs
"- Passed away. - Croaksville. That's what I thought."
Scrubs
"Just get someone else to do this project with you."
Scrubs
"It's just that... I like you. You know?"
Scrubs
"Cos that's my best friend."
Scrubs
"At the drive-in"
Scrubs
"Down the basement"
Scrubs
"And baby"
Scrubs
"Me"
Scrubs
"This is a recommendation letter from a high school teacher of mine."
Scrubs
"the reason I got into medicine."
Scrubs
"The horror."
Scrubs
"As a doctor, you need to be prepared for anything:"
Scrubs
"Get the last word in."
Scrubs
"And the next day."
Scrubs
"And the next day."
Scrubs
"Feel better?"
Scrubs
"You look like you got problems. You're a girl."
Scrubs
"The only positive is that a hospital's like one big family."
Scrubs
"At least they're real."
Scrubs
"Yep, it's a good place to heal."
Scrubs
"Yeah. All right. I love you too. Bye."
Scrubs
"Even though I see death all the time now,"
Scrubs
"I still react the same way as when I was a kid."
Scrubs
"Doin' a lot better than Mr Peters."
Scrubs
"- Dude. - What's up, newbie?"
Scrubs
"My God. Would you look at this hellhole?"
Scrubs
"one more gomer shuffled back and forth between some godforsaken home,"
Scrubs
"one more patient denied treatment"
Scrubs
"because they got the wrong insurance, I..."
Scrubs
"There are times when I concentrate as hard as I can"
Scrubs
"to see if I can catch on fire like the Human Torch."
Scrubs
"After a while you get used to Dr Cox's rants."
Scrubs
"so I can't get that tox screen I was looking for."
Scrubs
"What do you say we write him a friendly note?"
Scrubs
"The truth is, Dr Cox isn't really angry, he's just amusing himself."
Scrubs
"Maybe he's a little angry."
Scrubs
"He broke his pencil."
Scrubs
"Turk, you'll be happy you picked me to co-write this study."
Scrubs
"I got all the info on peripheral vascular disease,"
Scrubs
"to correspond with the outline in your packet."
Scrubs
"But I don't have a packet."
Scrubs
"Look at that. Turk's packet."
Scrubs
"- So you did this last night? - Yeah."
Scrubs
"a bunch of fast food and got back home at around seven."
Scrubs
"Then I went to the bathroom at eight. I got outta there at 11.15."
Scrubs
"It was a good night!"
Scrubs
"- It's you. - Yeah. It's me."
Scrubs
"Could Turk have picked anyone worse to be doing this project with?"
Scrubs
"What're you lookin' at?"
Scrubs
"Elliot, are you gonna go with him?"
Scrubs
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