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Clips from Scrubs - My Heavy Meddle (S01E01)

"Too early for jokes? That's good to know."
Scrubs
"It's good to know."
Scrubs
"Interesting. It isn't often I'm paged by a nurse."
Scrubs
"The last time was when..."
Scrubs
"What was her name? She hasn't worked here since."
Scrubs
"Never mind. What can I do for you and your coma patient?"
Scrubs
"I came across Mr Rice's advance directive,"
Scrubs
"Let's see. Blinds open? That's done."
Scrubs
"Incense burning?"
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso, he also wants to hear Poison's Talk Dirty to Me once a day."
Scrubs
"He wants to hear whose what?"
Scrubs
"Poison. It's a heavy metal band."
Scrubs
"Like Mötley Crüe and Winger."
Scrubs
"My son was a bit of a headbanger."
Scrubs
"- I'll get a tape deck in here... - Nurse Espinosa, that's not necessary."
Scrubs
"- It's just one song. - It starts out as just one song."
Scrubs
"But then half of the hospital staff"
Scrubs
"is piercing their genitalia and fornicating in the back of vans."
Scrubs
"Unless a family member enforces the directive,"
Scrubs
"we don't have to do anything."
Scrubs
"Now, will you do me a favour"
Scrubs
"and just forget about it, sweetheart?"
Scrubs
"I love your worry lines. They're adorable."
Scrubs
"You won't believe what happened yesterday."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox went ballistic and destroyed an entire lab room."
Scrubs
"Beakers. How is this is not good gossip?"
Scrubs
"JD, he does this every year. And whatever you do,"
Scrubs
"It's OK, boy. Who is it?"
Scrubs
"Little piggy, open up this door or I will start huffing and puffing."
Scrubs
"But, Dr Cox, I... OK!"
Scrubs
"I'd invite you in..."
Scrubs
"We're goin' out."
Scrubs
"- This isn't due for another month. - But if we finish one week early,"
Scrubs
"we can play with fonts and margins."
Scrubs
"Tonight's date night with Carla, and I got on special underwear."
Scrubs
"Go."
Scrubs
"Would you mind if I keep working?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, that works for me."
Scrubs
"No time for the Todd."
Scrubs
"Excuse me?"
Scrubs
"- to write our reports for us. - I'm not a geek."
Scrubs
"...quicker."
Scrubs
"She said ''rubber thingy''."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, I can't."
Scrubs
"I gotta pick up a CD for this coma patient."
Scrubs
"- But I'm wearing silk boxers. - Turk..."
Scrubs
"Sweetie, I love your money pants."
Scrubs
"How is it that you can blow me off and it makes you sexier?"
Scrubs
"Minty."
Scrubs
"So we're here. What do you wanna talk about?"
Scrubs
"If you don't toss that shot back, I'm gonna throw you"
Scrubs
"Hello, ladies."
Scrubs
"What the hell got into her?"
Scrubs
"Wassup!"
Scrubs
"I'm just trying to do right by my patient."
Scrubs
"- Dr Kelso, you... - Young lady,"
Scrubs
"when I asked you to leave it alone, I wasn't really asking you."
Scrubs
"It's like when I ask the paperboy to avoid hitting my rosebushes."
Scrubs
"or I'm going to forget to put the chain on Baxter."
Scrubs
"Now get on out of here and take that boom blaster with you!"
Scrubs
"My relationship with Jeremy was emotionally over before he ended it."
Scrubs
"Then I graduated from college and met Ethan."
Scrubs
"You seem fine, so I'm..."
Scrubs
"Why do you think we're out here at this bar at two in the morning?"
Scrubs
"Just so we can go in the urinal and piss on the ice?"
Scrubs
"You owe me $53."
Scrubs
"The bartender let you skip out on the tab?"
Scrubs
"He said I could pay him back by giving him a physical,"
Scrubs
"which is scary because I never said I was a doctor."
Scrubs
"I warned you about getting caught up in Dr Cox's wake."
Scrubs
"He showed up at my house."
Scrubs
"- Showed up at my mama's. - Ruined my wedding."
Scrubs
"What do you say, sports fans? It's a great day!"
Scrubs
"Turk never told me you were his project geek."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry."
Scrubs
"- You still got that rubber thingy on. - Eggs can be extremely slippery."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. That always happens."
Scrubs
"Don't let go."
Scrubs
"All right. First of all, Franklyn, there was no crying."
Scrubs
"Say it."
Scrubs
"You can't play with people's emotions cos you feel like it."
Scrubs
"We're back. The clique is back together!"
Scrubs
"That is what I'm talkin' about. Shall we?"
Scrubs
"Let's get back to work."
Scrubs
"But it's gonna be different this time."
Scrubs
"If we take a systematic approach, we'll maximise our efficiency."
Scrubs
"I rented Red Dawn."
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso, this is Matthew Rice."
Scrubs
"He's the proxy for his uncle's living will."
Scrubs
"What a happy coincidence,"
Scrubs
"So, exactly how much is my uncle leaving me? Can I ask that?"
Scrubs
"to put all this tomfoolery to rest."
Scrubs
"Once and for all. Cup of coffee, sport?"
Scrubs
"When you rolled out of bed this morning, did you say to yourself,"
Scrubs
"''Hey! I think today would be a terrific day to commit hari-kari''?"
Scrubs
"This just off the news wire: You're not licensed to comment"
Scrubs
"on how people deal with their emotions."
Scrubs
"- I beg to differ. - Well, at least I let mine go. You?"
Scrubs
"what would that look like? How would that go?"
Scrubs
"Maybe I just don't have anything bottled up."
Scrubs
"What did you do when you found out that he'd died?"
Scrubs
"- I made a joke. - I sure hope it was a good one."
Scrubs
"Here's the inside scoop. Life's hard enough,"
Scrubs
"Fact."
Scrubs
"Well, I let my emotions out! I'll show you some of this!"
Scrubs
"Franklyn, I am so sorry."
Scrubs
"The cool thing about this movie is that this could really happen."
Scrubs
"Both."
Scrubs
"Wolverines. Why is she always here?"
Scrubs
"We're working on my study."
Scrubs
"Every time I come here I'm gonna see him."
Scrubs
"is because it would force you to see each other."
Scrubs
"I don't want to get back together with him."
Scrubs
"I'm not saying that. You made a terrible couple."
Scrubs
"I think you're a cool person."
Scrubs
"- You and I can still hang out. - No."
Scrubs
"It can't be that way, and you know it."
Scrubs
"So, either you can try and fix it, or..."
Scrubs
"- This sucks. - Yeah."
Scrubs
"And baby we'll be"
Scrubs
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