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Clips from 30 Rock - Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish (S05E05)

"You know, why don't we just dive in to whatever this is?"
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"Ah, yes. Please."
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"As I recall, you own the Tracy Jordan Institute for Black Karate."
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"You wouldn't believe this, but that business failed."
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"Not so fast."
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"So... it's... deci..."
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"I'll do a site visit tonight and kick the tires."
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"All right, but if some other investor comes along, it's your loss."
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"And... finished."
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"I always thought the whole point of being with someone for a long time"
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"No, relationships are like sharks, Liz."
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"If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse,"
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"I get it, Lemon."
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"You need to see a therapist,"
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"I mean, have you ever been to a shrink?"
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"No. I believe that, when you have a problem,"
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"Then you take that problem and crush it with your mind vise."
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"And, Lemon, I want you to get better."
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"And that's what you're getting here."
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"Donald, I'm going to pick a problem at random."
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"A beast has been awakened!"
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"Oh! No one is safe!"
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"Who all's going to protect us?"
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"Donald, George punched my crotch!"
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"'cause he's on layover in Daytona Beach."
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"See? This is why I need to find someone to talk to."
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"Men. Trust."
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"everyone I ever dated in high school turned out to be either gay"
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"or a girl dressed as a guy to get a journalism scholarship."
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"My own dad tried to secretly cheat on my mom,"
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"so did vengeance."
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"What can Santa bring you this year?"
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"What does it matter?"
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"You're a bigger disappointment"
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"That must have been difficult."
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"Listening is twice as important as talking."
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"But He gave us ten fingers."
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"It's the vacant lot where we had our first face kiss!"
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"People need to see how happy we make each other."
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"What?"
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"But I can't crush his dreams."
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"Miss Lemon, I'm signing people up for the 'TGS' softball team."
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"and 25 "shove it up your goon-holes.""
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"Another male betrayal."
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"just so she'd have company."
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"To this day, whenever I hear someone's getting divorced,"
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"I can dump all of my problems on you, walk away,"
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"It's a win-win!"
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"last night was a disaster,"
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"and not the good kind where I get to sing at a benefit."
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"What happened?"
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"Paul's idea of moving things forward is me meeting his parents!"
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"It's not what you wanted, but it's progress."
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"In the wrong direction!"
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"Sabotage?"
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"I know it means this conversation is disgusting."
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"I just love you so much!"
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"I've got other ideas,"
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"He can't handle that!"
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"And so am I! I'm Cheryl."
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"I'm going to help you. Lie down."
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"You see, my father passed when I was just a young boy."
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"I knew I could win that contest."
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"His sacrifice made you what you are today,"
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"I guess that is true."
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"Oh, God, here comes my childhood!"
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"and let the whole world see."
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"I mean, come on, why can't we just paint each other's toenails,"
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"watch vintage pornography,"
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"Because it's boring."
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"What are you saying?"
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"But if that's really not enough for you, tell me now."
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"I have my dignity."
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"Miss Lemon, I have another message from Captain Burnett."
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"Please don't get sad and remember things and infect me again!"
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"Too late. Look how we're positioned."
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"a man who projected his own failed dreams onto his family."
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"When I was in third grade, my class put on a science play."
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"I was struggling with the science terms, and Jimmy laughed and said,"
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"Chowderhead can't even say the words!"
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"my map of the stars."
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"says they're beautiful even when they're ugly,"
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"thinks they're smart even when they go to Arizona State."
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"A basic building block of the human body,"
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"to heroes who turn in Communists."
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"Now look at me. I'm pathetic!"
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"so you move back to Pennsylvania, live with your parents."
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"Damn you, Gojira!"
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"Knock, knock!"
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"You were right, Donald. It makes more sense for you to enter first."
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"It's okay, Daddy. We'll just start over."
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"Okay. You remember Donald, my son who's two years older than me."
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"But the good news is Donald has a brand-new venture."
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"Sell him, son!"
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"It's a theme restaurant in Times Square!"
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"Well, we got a bunch of capital from Brown and Folderson,"
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"and we wanted to get you a seat on this rocket before it takes off."
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"Let's just bottom-line this thing."
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"I never invest without doing my research."
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"A Mexican billionaire is calling me right now. Excuse me."
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"Hey, Jenna, I need to go over..."
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"What is it, Liz? We're busy."
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"Jenna and I are mirroring until we achieve touchless orgasm."
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"Well, I have to go to work."
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"My new manager is making us wear name tags."
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"I might as well be working at a roller-skating drag-queen restaurant"
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"under Taliban rule!"
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"But after your shift, we still have our special night, right?"
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"Really? That's a little fast, isn't it?"
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"And I will say yes when Paul proposes..."
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"that we make a sex tape and leak it on the Internet."
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"God, no! Marriage is like death."
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"I don't know."
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"is to get to the comfortable-routine part."
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"then something's wrong."
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"Well, nothing's wrong with me and Carol."
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"I mean, we haven't spoken in five days, but that doesn't mean anything."
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"We are legless turtles rotting on the beach."
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"That's an excellent question. The answer is questions like that."
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"Look, this long distance is hard."
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