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Clips from American Dad! - When a Stan Loves a Woman (S02E02)

"Just a little bit farther for your anniversary surprise."
American Dad!
"I planted it to commemorate the first time we ever made love."
American Dad!
"Rumor has it, within its unexplored depths lives an Indian tribe..."
American Dad!
"Cougar Boost energy drink. I gotta cram for finals."
American Dad!
"Who's a good boy? Who wants to play catchy-ball? Come on, catchy-ball."
American Dad!
"Meditation, Cialis, Ginkgo biloba..."
American Dad!
"Hey, I'm not the problem, you're the problem."
American Dad!
"Oh, is that what this is about, my past?"
American Dad!
"Stan, that was just sex. Sex without love is meaningless."
American Dad!
"I don't need to know what goes on in your bedroom."
American Dad!
"- What did you do to your computer? - Gotta find out how it works."
American Dad!
"You better lay off that Cougar Boost."
American Dad!
"Then you'll see that sex with somebody you don't love is no big deal."
American Dad!
"- You have my permission. - But not God's permission."
American Dad!
"- What's this? - You can sleep with another woman..."
American Dad!
"What are you guys talking about? You guys are divorced?"
American Dad!
"She's convinced that if I have sex..."
American Dad!
"Steve, our parents are divorced."
American Dad!
"I live with my parents. Big house, no yard."
American Dad!
"I'm going to have intercourse with you. I'm divorced. It's fine."
American Dad!
"God, I guess I'm a little rusty. Need to ease into it a bit."
American Dad!
"Foreplay, then intercourse!"
American Dad!
"- Can I talk to you for a second? - No."
American Dad!
"Thank God. That guy sucked so much."
American Dad!
"We left everything behind: Our house, our cars, my little brother."
American Dad!
"- I don't even care. - You are one cool customer."
American Dad!
"No, I was already composing your suicide note when you stood up."
American Dad!
"- Law enforcement? Mercenary? - No, the complete opposite."
American Dad!
"- You run a bingo parlor? - Yes."
American Dad!
"...for it is far too hot for human consumption."
American Dad!
"- Somebody got a little nasty no-no. - No, not yet."
American Dad!
"Should I call her? No, no, I shouldn't. I don't wanna seem desperate."
American Dad!
"It's Joanna. She doesn't play games. What a gal. I'm gonna take this upstairs."
American Dad!
"Hey, you."
American Dad!
"I don't know anyone in Victorville."
American Dad!
"This whole divorce thing was a bad idea."
American Dad!
"I pushed him into this and now he's falling for another woman."
American Dad!
"Shake it. Shake it on my eggs."
American Dad!
"Too much. It's ruined. Get out. You disgust me."
American Dad!
"I got other people I can sell to."
American Dad!
"Bruce Willis wants them. That girl who played Tank Girl wants them."
American Dad!
"Hello, Bruce? Have Rumer and Tallulah meet me."
American Dad!
"Do something!"
American Dad!
"Stan, where have you been? I went to the park, I left you messages."
American Dad!
"Look, I made a terrible mistake."
American Dad!
"I'm your wife."
American Dad!
"I got remarried. Francine, could you take a picture of us?"
American Dad!
"- We love laser tag, don't we, husband? - I'm her husband."
American Dad!
"I'm not. I'll commit to anything. I'm on a six-year cell phone plan."
American Dad!
"- Checked the wrong box. Not giving it up. - Oh, yeah?"
American Dad!
"Stan, this is ridiculous. You have to end this right now."
American Dad!
"- But, Stan... - Look, I'm sorry, Francine."
American Dad!
"Oh, honey, don't you worry. Single life is great."
American Dad!
"I am getting him back if it's the last thing I do."
American Dad!
"- No time. - Are you sure?"
American Dad!
"- Ready, husband? - Ready, wife."
American Dad!
"We're your friends, Steve, and you have a serious problem."
American Dad!
"I wanna call my mother and tell her I just met the girl I wanna nail in the bathroom."
American Dad!
"- Oh, God. - You look tense."
American Dad!
"Said the carpet in the honeymoon suite was spooking his frog."
American Dad!
"Don't know what it meant."
American Dad!
"You, Francine. I love you."
American Dad!
"Oh, Stan, I'm so sorry."
American Dad!
"Now I know how you felt seeing all those rosebushes."
American Dad!
"The scratch marks on my back will forever be a tribute to my love for you."
American Dad!
"...but that's because I believed in you."
American Dad!
"...I have ever had the privilege to throw out of a moving car."
American Dad!
"- Not really. I'm still pissed off. - It's about the journey."
American Dad!
"No. No, no. I'm not gonna be that guy who's always bagging on his ex."
American Dad!
"And Steve's where?"
American Dad!
"Is it my own vineyard? Oh, Francine, you knew."
American Dad!
"I never said anything, because it sounded so fey."
American Dad!
"It's a rosebush."
American Dad!
"And though that moment only lasted seconds..."
American Dad!
"...this bush will last forever."
American Dad!
"Oh, no. Those are all mine."
American Dad!
"Each one for a different man I slept with."
American Dad!
"- But you were my last. - All of these?"
American Dad!
"It's not that many."
American Dad!
"This is the largest sex garden in North America."
American Dad!
"...who have never seen a white man."
American Dad!
"Hey, now, friend, hold on. What is that?"
American Dad!
"You have finals at community college?"
American Dad!
"Yeah. I'm gonna pull an all-afternooner."
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah, that's the stuff."
American Dad!
"I gotta write this down. "Evolution is like IKEA for animals.""
American Dad!
"- Your growling can intrigues me. - So take a sip."
American Dad!
""May lead to extreme extremeness.""
American Dad!
"I don't know. I usually like to have my wits about me."
American Dad!
"- Then don't have some. - No, no, no."
American Dad!
"I feel... I feel..."
American Dad!
"It's no use. It's not gonna happen tonight."
American Dad!
"Give me a chance."
American Dad!
"Francine, stop. My penis is not a dog. It's Batman."
American Dad!
"Don't worry. There are ways to treat it:"
American Dad!
"You know, for your memory, because you forgot how to get a boner."
American Dad!
"But you, you have a sex garden..."
American Dad!
"...that was on the cover of Sex Garden Magazine."
American Dad!
"I'm listening, I'm looking in your eyes..."
American Dad!
"...before the ground assault began."
American Dad!
"Can't a guy sit in the closet and get drunk with Francine's shoes..."
American Dad!
"Hey, Steve, it's Thursday night."
American Dad!
"It's time to tease some pedophiles on the Internet."
American Dad!
"An insurance salesman in Ohio wants to fly me to Disneyland."
American Dad!
"It's not magic. Something's gotta be pushing things."
American Dad!
"One lever moves the other. It's about precision."
American Dad!
"Things gotta be pushing other things."
American Dad!
"You better wake up and listen to what you're saying."
American Dad!
"Hi, honey."
American Dad!
"Oh, Stan, I know we've been kind of rocky lately..."
American Dad!
"To Texas, where the president pretends to be from."
American Dad!
"What the fudge, Stan? You have been avoiding me for a week."
American Dad!
"Well, I can't change how I feel."
American Dad!
"You making love to all those other men."
American Dad!
"It wasn't making love, it was sex."
American Dad!
"- It meant nothing. - Liar."
American Dad!
"You're saying that to make me feel better because I've never had sex with anyone."
American Dad!
"- Then go do it. - Go do what?"
American Dad!
"Go sleep with another woman."
American Dad!
"I took sacred vows on our wedding day, and I don't take vows lightly."
American Dad!
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