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Clips from ALF - Weird Science (S01E01)

"Apparently, it was a mistake to call you."
ALF
"Yo, lynn! Need some help with the homework?"
ALF
"A machine that brings you your sandwich?"
ALF
"That's a much better idea."
ALF
"Nifty piece of work, too."
ALF
"I tried it out last month,"
ALF
"Meteorology is a very fascinating branch of science."
ALF
"I doubt that. Nice try, though."
ALF
"Excuse me."
ALF
"Enough!"
ALF
"What is it? Street lights?"
ALF
"Really?"
ALF
"No, i don't think that's a good idea."
ALF
"But if you don't add them,"
ALF
"You're perpetuating lies!"
ALF
"Hello, information?"
ALF
"But i don't have any thumbs!"
ALF
"Well, mr. Smarty--"
ALF
"Mr. Tanner?"
ALF
"Yeah?"
ALF
"Am i interrupting something?"
ALF
"And i did want to clear up that little misunderstanding..."
ALF
"Ms. Larva this afternoon."
ALF
"I heard you yelling at someone,"
ALF
"Well, you threatened to remove brian from school,"
ALF
"No, i didn't."
ALF
"Now the principal is here,"
ALF
"How surprising."
ALF
"Willie? Snap out of it."
ALF
"And the astronomers thought..."
ALF
"I don't think i can."
ALF
"I don't know;"
ALF
"I'm sure she would let him compete with his classmates,"
ALF
"For free thinking?"
ALF
""Consumer ed" boganski."
ALF
"There was no need to involve..."
ALF
"Yes, i do."
ALF
"Free thinking!"
ALF
"Copyrighted by alien productions. All rights reserved."
ALF
"Kate, i got home as fast as i could."
ALF
"What's the emergency?"
ALF
"What?"
ALF
"I have this message from the office."
ALF
"It told me to get home as fast as i could."
ALF
"You?"
ALF
"I didn't say "rush home.""
ALF
"I told them to ask you to "get home as soon as possible.""
ALF
"You said it was an emergency."
ALF
"Yeah! The tv set is broken."
ALF
"What!"
ALF
"It's got audio, but no video."
ALF
"My guess is, the picture tube is shot."
ALF
"You got me into a panic to tell me that?"
ALF
"Sorry, but i began to panic when i missed "Gumby.""
ALF
"You're going to miss a lot more than "gumby," buster,"
ALF
"What? Willie, I'm a shut-In."
ALF
"Tv is my lifeline."
ALF
"I just pulled the plug on it."
ALF
"We watch too much tv in this house, anyway."
ALF
"This will be a good chance to talk, to read,"
ALF
"To catch up on some chores--"
ALF
"Super. Welcome to "little house on the prairie.""
ALF
"♪♪"
ALF
"Thanks, but it's american history."
ALF
"Pre-Civil war? Yep."
ALF
"Not my area."
ALF
"Catching up on your reading?"
ALF
"Isn't it refreshing, having no tv?"
ALF
"Yeah, invigorating."
ALF
"I assume you have no plans to get it repaired?"
ALF
"No immediate plans."
ALF
"Maybe it'll heal itself."
ALF
"Dad, i need some help."
ALF
"I have to make a project for the science carnival."
ALF
"Is that anything like a science fair?"
ALF
"Yeah, only this has clowns."
ALF
"Well, what's the problem, brian?"
ALF
"I don't know what to make."
ALF
"No problem. On melmac, i was known as "mr. Science.""
ALF
"Why can't "mr. Science" fix his own spaceship, then?"
ALF
"Because "mr. Science" isn't good with tools."
ALF
"That's why i dropped out of dental school."
ALF
"You went to dental school?"
ALF
"It was the easiest thing i could think of."
ALF
"We only have 4 teeth."
ALF
"What can we make, alf?"
ALF
"An electric sandwich caddy."
ALF
"No, a sandwich that hands you your golf clubs."
ALF
"Better than a rain gauge."
ALF
"How do you know about the rain gauge? Lynn?"
ALF
"I'm sorry, dad. He found it in my closet."
ALF
"And we experienced 16 feet of rain."
ALF
"There's no need for you to insult my rain gauge."
ALF
"So is taxidermy."
ALF
"Which brings me to my next suggestion:"
ALF
"Let's stuff lucky."
ALF
"I think i'll work on my science project alone."
ALF
"Thanks, anyway."
ALF
"You see what happens when you're a "butt-Inski"?"
ALF
"Perhaps, if the tv were working,"
ALF
"I wouldn't be a "butt-Inski.""
ALF
"Mind if i read over your shoulder?"
ALF
"Tv is still on the fritz, i see."
ALF
"Still broken, if that's what you mean."
ALF
"Here's a petition,"
ALF
"It states that by hurting me,"
ALF
"You're hurting others..."
ALF
"And ultimately, hurting yourself."
ALF
"Yes, by proxy."
ALF
"Alf, i already said you could use..."
ALF
"The portable tv in the bedroom."
ALF
"It's too small."
ALF
"It makes everyone look like danny devito."
ALF
"For your information,"
ALF
"The factory? Why don't you just call a repairman?"
ALF
"Because it's still under warranty."
ALF
"How long is it going to take?"
ALF
"Where is the factory?"
ALF
"The factory is in-- Libya."
ALF
"This looks like a job for, eh-Eh-Eh,"
ALF
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