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Clips from Parks and Recreation - The Stakeout (S02E02)

because somebody planted marijuana in it.

"because somebody planted marijuana in it."

Parks and Recreation

I took the pictures.

"I took the pictures."

Parks and Recreation

My best friend was going on a date with my ex-lover.

"My best friend was going on a date with my ex-lover."

Parks and Recreation

Leslie. Thanks for waiting. I appreciate it.

"Leslie. Thanks for waiting. I appreciate it."

Parks and Recreation

It's no problem. You can keep it.

"It's no problem. You can keep it."

Parks and Recreation

Actually, no. I need that for my uniform.

"Actually, no. I need that for my uniform."

Parks and Recreation

Okay. And we'll talk about the coat.

"Okay. And we'll talk about the coat."

Parks and Recreation

Okay.

"Okay."

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And that Mark is also okay and he is in his home.

"And that Mark is also okay and he is in his home."

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Leslie. Mark's an idiot.

"Leslie. Mark's an idiot."

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You can do a lot better than him.

"You can do a lot better than him."

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I didn't mean me. Keep it in your pants, Knope.

"I didn't mean me. Keep it in your pants, Knope."

Parks and Recreation

between carrots and marijuana?

"between carrots and marijuana?"

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so you made up a story about weed

"so you made up a story about weed"

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No, I did not. There actually was weed here...

"No, I did not. There actually was weed here..."

Parks and Recreation

It's okay.

"It's okay."

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When I first met her I didn't care much for her,

"When I first met her I didn't care much for her,"

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because like 99% of the people in any given day of my life,

"because like 99% of the people in any given day of my life,"

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Can we not... I don't want to talk about this anymore.

"Can we not... I don't want to talk about this anymore."

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I know.

"I know."

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we thought you were a criminal.

"we thought you were a criminal."

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For the record, I still actually kind of think he's a pervert.

"For the record, I still actually kind of think he's a pervert."

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that you're okay about this date with Mark.

"that you're okay about this date with Mark."

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Oh, my God. I'm so fine with it, Ann. Seriously. It's so fine.

"Oh, my God. I'm so fine with it, Ann. Seriously. It's so fine."

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As long as you and I are cool.

"As long as you and I are cool."

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Uteruses before duderuses. Got it.

"Uteruses before duderuses. Got it."

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but I've been in this position before,

"but I've been in this position before,"

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and I had a friend who dated an ex,

"and I had a friend who dated an ex,"

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and I said I was okay, but I wasn't, actually. It was kind of weird.

"and I said I was okay, but I wasn't, actually. It was kind of weird."

Parks and Recreation

And Tom is our master horticulturist.

"And Tom is our master horticulturist."

Parks and Recreation

Those are, of course, tomatoes, or Soulja Boy Tell 'Ems.

"Those are, of course, tomatoes, or Soulja Boy Tell 'Ems."

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Those are some Diddys.

"Those are some Diddys."

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Those Ludacrises are coming in great.

"Those Ludacrises are coming in great."

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Did you get my e-mails? Mmm-mmm.

"Did you get my e-mails? Mmm-mmm."

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I did not. Did you check your voicemail?

"I did not. Did you check your voicemail?"

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I didn't.

"I didn't."

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We have a criminal emergency on our hands.

"We have a criminal emergency on our hands."

Parks and Recreation

Okay. Call the cops.

"Okay. Call the cops."

Parks and Recreation

That'll leak to the press. Then there'll be an investigation,

"That'll leak to the press. Then there'll be an investigation,"

Parks and Recreation

and they'll find my fingerprints on the manure,

"and they'll find my fingerprints on the manure,"

Parks and Recreation

and then we'll lose our funding.

"and then we'll lose our funding."

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Look, I will call the cops,

"Look, I will call the cops,"

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but just give me one day to deal with this internally, okay?

"but just give me one day to deal with this internally, okay?"

Parks and Recreation

Sure. Thank you.

"Sure. Thank you."

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And listen, if this thing blows up,

"And listen, if this thing blows up,"

Parks and Recreation

I have a hernia.

"I have a hernia."

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successfully.

"successfully."

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I made the mistake of sneezing.

"I made the mistake of sneezing."

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or torso,

"or torso,"

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We need to find out who we're dealing with.

"We need to find out who we're dealing with."

Parks and Recreation

and make his Transformers look like they're having sex together.

"and make his Transformers look like they're having sex together."

Parks and Recreation

I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was intense.

"I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was intense."

Parks and Recreation

Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie.

"Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie."

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You know, if we catch him, then we avoid a scandal.

"You know, if we catch him, then we avoid a scandal."

Parks and Recreation

'Cause we flip the headline, and it's not

"'Cause we flip the headline, and it's not"

Parks and Recreation

We got to catch this guy. Get the van, meet me at 7:00.

"We got to catch this guy. Get the van, meet me at 7:00."

Parks and Recreation

It's stakeout time.

"It's stakeout time."

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April?

"April?"

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Yeah? Get my lunch for me, please.

"Yeah? Get my lunch for me, please."

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Is this some kind of weird power trip?

"Is this some kind of weird power trip?"

Parks and Recreation

Thank you. That'll be all.

"Thank you. That'll be all."

Parks and Recreation

You're welcome.

"You're welcome."

Parks and Recreation

It's all filled with songs about people watching people.

"It's all filled with songs about people watching people."

Parks and Recreation

Are you going to wear that shirt?

"Are you going to wear that shirt?"

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Tommy Hilfiger?

"Tommy Hilfiger?"

Parks and Recreation

Well, here. You should be wearing something like this.

"Well, here. You should be wearing something like this."

Parks and Recreation

Wear black. Black is what you wear on a stakeout.

"Wear black. Black is what you wear on a stakeout."

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Pretty bummed this fits.

"Pretty bummed this fits."

Parks and Recreation

Test shot. You ready? Just focus up on the pit. All right.

"Test shot. You ready? Just focus up on the pit. All right."

Parks and Recreation

When Andy and I used to go to the movies,

"When Andy and I used to go to the movies,"

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that the main character had been dead the whole time.

"that the main character had been dead the whole time."

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Even when we saw Ratatouille.

"Even when we saw Ratatouille."

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Oh, look. It's Mark.

"Oh, look. It's Mark."

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What are you doing? What?

"What are you doing? What?"

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So, you ready to go?

"So, you ready to go?"

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Oh, no. I need another hour to get ready.

"Oh, no. I need another hour to get ready."

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Seriously? 'Cause I think the movie starts in like...

"Seriously? 'Cause I think the movie starts in like..."

Parks and Recreation

Wow. This is going to be fun.

"Wow. This is going to be fun."

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you don't get the brains, too.

"you don't get the brains, too."

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This is Brendanawicz's life.

"This is Brendanawicz's life."

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Hot chick from the newspaper, hot chick from the post office,

"Hot chick from the newspaper, hot chick from the post office,"

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I'm just saying. Nobody turns him down.

"I'm just saying. Nobody turns him down."

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"No, sir, Mark Brendanawicz. I don't need your business here."

""No, sir, Mark Brendanawicz. I don't need your business here.""

Parks and Recreation

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Parks and Recreation

Shovel guitar, shovel guitar

"Shovel guitar, shovel guitar"

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Somebody wants to play shovel guitar

"Somebody wants to play shovel guitar"

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Leslie's been playing shovel guitar

"Leslie's been playing shovel guitar"

Parks and Recreation

for about an hour now. Longer.

"for about an hour now. Longer."

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You're not from here, right?

"You're not from here, right?"

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My birth name is Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani,

"My birth name is Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani,"

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and I changed it to Tom Haverford because, you know,

"and I changed it to Tom Haverford because, you know,"

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If I knew a dude named Barack Obama

"If I knew a dude named Barack Obama"

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yeah, maybe I wouldn't have changed it.

"yeah, maybe I wouldn't have changed it."

Parks and Recreation

Oh, did you hear that noise?

"Oh, did you hear that noise?"

Parks and Recreation

Oh, my God. It's the kingpin!

"Oh, my God. It's the kingpin!"

Parks and Recreation

Write this down.

"Write this down."

Parks and Recreation

Okay, white male, light brown hair.

"Okay, white male, light brown hair."

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Just take pictures.

"Just take pictures."

Parks and Recreation

Oh, my God, it looks like Andy.

"Oh, my God, it looks like Andy."

Parks and Recreation

Oh, hey, you guys. What are you doing here? It's so good to see you.

"Oh, hey, you guys. What are you doing here? It's so good to see you."

Parks and Recreation

What happened?

"What happened?"

Parks and Recreation

You're living in the pit now?

"You're living in the pit now?"

Parks and Recreation

It's awesome. Somebody just planted a garden down there.

"It's awesome. Somebody just planted a garden down there."

Parks and Recreation

Fruits and vegetables, so I'm getting a lot of vitamins...

"Fruits and vegetables, so I'm getting a lot of vitamins..."

Parks and Recreation

Oh, don't look at me. There's weed down there?

"Oh, don't look at me. There's weed down there?"

Parks and Recreation

And maybe you could tell us what you've seen.

"And maybe you could tell us what you've seen."

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Do you live here?

"Do you live here?"

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April?

"April?"

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Yeah. Do you live here?

"Yeah. Do you live here?"

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Catch.

"Catch."

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so I came back.

"so I came back."

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AIDS?

"AIDS?"

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No.

"No."

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Is it like a parasite or a virus or something you get from a bee?

"Is it like a parasite or a virus or something you get from a bee?"

Parks and Recreation

I have a hernia.

"I have a hernia."

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It's possible to have two things.

"It's possible to have two things."

Parks and Recreation

Do you need a ride to the hospital?

"Do you need a ride to the hospital?"

Parks and Recreation

But I rode my bike here, so I have to go home and get my dad's station wagon.

"But I rode my bike here, so I have to go home and get my dad's station wagon."

Parks and Recreation

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Parks and Recreation

Bye.

"Bye."

Parks and Recreation

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