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Clips from The Ranch - Back Where I Come From (S01E01)

"I can't make eye contact with her for a while."
The Ranch
"Oh, hey, Colt."
The Ranch
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
The Ranch
"What are you doing here?"
The Ranch
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"
The Ranch
"You and Dad still..."
The Ranch
"Every time I see your father, we fight."
The Ranch
"And every time we fight, we end up f..."
The Ranch
"All right! All right!"
The Ranch
"I got it."
The Ranch
"Oh, if it helps, we weren't facing each other."
The Ranch
"- Do you want some coffee? - Sure."
The Ranch
"Oh, man. Whoa!"
The Ranch
"What are you doing?"
The Ranch
"Oh, Carla had a breech birth last night. So I had to stick my arm up her..."
The Ranch
"Got it."
The Ranch
"If it helps, we weren't facing each other."
The Ranch
"That's cute."
The Ranch
"Soap and water won't do it."
The Ranch
"Need some Tabasco, tomato juice, a stalk of celery and vodka."
The Ranch
"That's a bloody Mary."
The Ranch
"Right, you have four of those, you won't care how your arm smells."
The Ranch
"You ready for your tryout?"
The Ranch
"Well, that's good, right? It means you still care."
The Ranch
"How about I make you that pre-game pasta you used to like?"
The Ranch
"Thanks, Mom, I'm not a kid anymore."
The Ranch
"How about a pancake with a whipped-cream face?"
The Ranch
"Oh, yes, please."
The Ranch
"Blue skies. God, I never thought I'd hate blue skies."
The Ranch
"You know, I don't think it's rained here since you left."
The Ranch
"Kinda? You up to speed on everything here?"
The Ranch
"Well, obviously not."
The Ranch
"This is the worst year that anybody can remember."
The Ranch
"I mean... he even had to let Pedro go."
The Ranch
"Wait. So, it's just him and Rooster?"
The Ranch
"Oh... wait. He's not gonna lose this place, is he?"
The Ranch
"I mean, that'll kill him."
The Ranch
"No. Keeping this place is killin' him."
The Ranch
"He's been out there for hours already. He hardly ever sleeps."
The Ranch
"Sorry..."
The Ranch
"can't put the face on the pancake."
The Ranch
"Your father and I used all the whipped cream up last night."
The Ranch
"- Looked good out there, Bennett. - Oh, hey, thanks."
The Ranch
"Yeah. Just taking it one play at a time."
The Ranch
"Cut the crap. This isn't a press conference."
The Ranch
"How's the shoulder?"
The Ranch
"Nothing three Vicodin and a couple of shots of whiskey can't take care of, huh?"
The Ranch
"Funny."
The Ranch
"Yes, that was a joke."
The Ranch
"Think you can make it through a whole season?"
The Ranch
"I can if it means you got a spot for me."
The Ranch
"You're Colt Bennett."
The Ranch
"In these parts, you're still a big deal."
The Ranch
"Nothing else, you'll sell tickets."
The Ranch
"And by that, I mean every player has to sell at least ten tickets per home game."
The Ranch
"What's the starting salary?"
The Ranch
"Two hundred and fifty a game. You start, it's a bonus of 50."
The Ranch
"If we win, you get another 50."
The Ranch
"Another good one."
The Ranch
"Yes, that was also a joke."
The Ranch
"It's a long shot..."
The Ranch
"That's the attitude."
The Ranch
"First practice, Wednesday at 11:00."
The Ranch
"Extra 15 bucks if you come early and line the field."
The Ranch
"Oh, thanks."
The Ranch
"Can't wait!"
The Ranch
"Oh, damn, Carla."
The Ranch
"No. We'll go over to Henderson's to get one."
The Ranch
"If they don't have it, we'll go someplace else."
The Ranch
"No, Amazon will have it here in 24 hours."
The Ranch
"See? That's what's wrong with your generation."
The Ranch
"Oh, good. I was wondering what's wrong with us."
The Ranch
"You're a bunch of lazy bastards."
The Ranch
"You never wanna leave the house."
The Ranch
"What're you gonna do when North Korea comes knocking on the door?"
The Ranch
"You gonna order a gun on Amazon?"
The Ranch
"No, I'm gonna go to the gun rack in the truck..."
The Ranch
"- Hey. - Hey, how'd it go?"
The Ranch
"Yeah, it could've gone better."
The Ranch
"What do you mean It could've gone better?"
The Ranch
"I mean I didn't make it."
The Ranch
"Damn, Colt. I'm sorry."
The Ranch
"You know what you could do?"
The Ranch
"Strap on those Uggs and try out for cheerleader."
The Ranch
"anyway, I don't know what my next step's gonna be but..."
The Ranch
"I thought, if it's all right with you, I could stick around here for a while."
The Ranch
"You're serious?"
The Ranch
"Yeah."
The Ranch
"Guess you were right. I'm done with football."
The Ranch
"Wow, I didn't realize I'd raised a quitter."
The Ranch
"You've been telling me to give it up for years."
The Ranch
"You've got no sense of humor at all."
The Ranch
"Look, for what it's worth..."
The Ranch
"I'd be happy having you around here"
The Ranch
"and I'd rather not see you cripple yourself."
The Ranch
"Wait. You just said something nice to him."
The Ranch
"And yesterday you said good job."
The Ranch
"Are you dying?"
The Ranch
"One more thing."
The Ranch
"Where'd you get this?"
The Ranch
"Sold my championship ring."
The Ranch
"Figure all the money you gave me over the years,"
The Ranch
"it's the least I could do."
The Ranch
"No, thanks."
The Ranch
"Yeah, I want you to have it."
The Ranch
"Do I look like some kind of charity case?"
The Ranch
"Oh, come on. I'm just trying to help."
The Ranch
"We've got a country full of people with their hand out."
The Ranch
"All I want is what I earn. All anybody is gonna do for me is dig..."
The Ranch
"...a six-foot hole in the ground and drop me in it."
The Ranch
"This place isn't yours to save."
The Ranch
"Just swallow your pride and take the damn money!"
The Ranch
"Not gonna happen."
The Ranch
"Listen, son... I'm not too old to kick your ass."
The Ranch
"It's like my birthday all over again."
The Ranch
"I didn't start this. You did."
The Ranch
"- Don't touch me. - All right, relax, guys."
The Ranch
"No. I started this? I started this?"
The Ranch
"You drove me out of here!"
The Ranch
"You're standing awful tall for a man who came"
The Ranch
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