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Clips from Seinfeld - The Parking Garage (S03E03)

"I don't know. Maybe two hours."
Seinfeld
"Let's try this way."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you just go behind one of these cars."
Seinfeld
"- Why? There's nobody around. - I'll wait."
Seinfeld
"That's what happens to truck drivers."
Seinfeld
"They hold it in all the time and eventually..."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, are you aware that adult diapers are a $600-million-a-year industry?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe I should just go any time I get the urge, like you, wherever I am."
Seinfeld
"There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in."
Seinfeld
"It builds character."
Seinfeld
"Hey! Watch it!"
Seinfeld
"Maniac."
Seinfeld
"You sure you don't want help with that?"
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna put it down behind that car."
Seinfeld
"Worried somebody's gonna pee on it?"
Seinfeld
"- It's Purple 23. Remember that. - Oh, I got it."
Seinfeld
"That I'm supposed to remember. Where the car is, that's insignificant."
Seinfeld
"I think they're labouring."
Seinfeld
"Look at this place! It's huge!"
Seinfeld
"All right, let me say this to you:"
Seinfeld
"If I am not in front of my building at 6: 15, when my parents get there..."
Seinfeld
"Parents never forget a foul-up."
Seinfeld
"I once left my jacket on a bus when I was 14."
Seinfeld
"I was flying to Chicago, last week, on a plane:"
Seinfeld
"There's no way you can call them?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, I'll call them on their car phone. - What would it take..."
Seinfeld
"- ...for his parents to get a car phone? - Hypnosis by aliens."
Seinfeld
"- Where the hell is this car, Kramer? - We need a system."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's gotta be here."
Seinfeld
"Why are they using so many colours?"
Seinfeld
"The numbers go up to 40."
Seinfeld
"Maybe it's not on this level."
Seinfeld
"- What? - There's four different levels."
Seinfeld
"Maybe we're on the wrong level."
Seinfeld
"- How long was the escalator ride up? - It felt like a couple of levels."
Seinfeld
"I got a pen."
Seinfeld
"Where is the bathroom in this mall?"
Seinfeld
"There's 600 stores, I didn't see one bathroom."
Seinfeld
"What is this, like, a joke?"
Seinfeld
"Don't they consult with a urologist when they build one of these places?"
Seinfeld
"- What's with you? - My ear itches."
Seinfeld
"I told you, I don't care! You'll have to wait!"
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey, is that really necessary?"
Seinfeld
"Why don't you mind your own business."
Seinfeld
"- You're ugly. - What?"
Seinfeld
"- You're ugly. - You are."
Seinfeld
"- You are. - That's what you think."
Seinfeld
"That's what I know."
Seinfeld
"- I found it! - He's got it!"
Seinfeld
"- No, no, no. - All right, that's it."
Seinfeld
"- His eyes look a little cloudy. - See?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, they are gonna be furious."
Seinfeld
"- Who's got the tickets? - I do."
Seinfeld
"Okay, my fish are dying right in front of me."
Seinfeld
"We've gotta get someone to drive us around to us help look for the car."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. Hi."
Seinfeld
"We can't seem to find our car. I was wondering if it would be possible..."
Seinfeld
"Sorry."
Seinfeld
"- Just five minutes. - Can't do it."
Seinfeld
"We're not skinheads."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. I can't seem to find my car."
Seinfeld
"Do you think you could drive me-?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's funny? Is that funny? Hey, tell me if you think this is funny:"
Seinfeld
"These fish are dying."
Seinfeld
"In an hour they'll be belly-up!"
Seinfeld
"Excuse me."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me."
Seinfeld
"Hey, sorry to have disturbed you. Terribly sorry."
Seinfeld
"But the fish will be dead! You do know that?"
Seinfeld
"That's not me talking, that's science!"
Seinfeld
"How does my bladder know I'm in a department store?"
Seinfeld
"Why don't you just go."
Seinfeld
"No, I can't."
Seinfeld
"- Don't you get tired of following rules? - You think I'm too cautious?"
Seinfeld
"- It's organic. - Organic. So is Buddy Hackett."
Seinfeld
"- Buddy Hackett? - He's a comedian."
Seinfeld
"I know."
Seinfeld
"- Okay, let's go. - But-"
Seinfeld
"Kramer."
Seinfeld
"I'm telling you, I've had this condition since I was 11 years old."
Seinfeld
"...the best thing to do is just release it."
Seinfeld
"Otherwise..."
Seinfeld
"Do you hear what I'm saying to you?"
Seinfeld
"I'm telling you that if I don't go, I could die."
Seinfeld
"Die! Is it worth dying for?"
Seinfeld
"Why would I do it unless I was in mortal danger?"
Seinfeld
"- I know it's against the law. - I don't know."
Seinfeld
"Because I could get uromysitisis poisoning and die, that's why."
Seinfeld
"You think I enjoy living like this?"
Seinfeld
"The shame? The humiliation?"
Seinfeld
"You know, I've been issued a public urination pass..."
Seinfeld
"...by the city because of my condition."
Seinfeld
"Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning."
Seinfeld
"Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place."
Seinfeld
"Jerry!"
Seinfeld
"Unbelievable."
Seinfeld
"I'm never gonna get out of here."
Seinfeld
"Guy goes to pee, he never comes back."
Seinfeld
"Maybe he went to one of the other levels."
Seinfeld
"- I'm gonna look for him. - Now you're gonna go?"
Seinfeld
"- Be back in five minutes. - If you go now..."
Seinfeld
"I'll be right back."
Seinfeld
"What's the difference? We'll all be dead eventually."
Seinfeld
"Does that bother you?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, it bothers me."
Seinfeld
"- Doesn't it bother you? - Not at all."
Seinfeld
"Now, that bothers me even more than dying bothers me."
Seinfeld
"Because people like you live to be 120..."
Seinfeld
"...because you're not bothered by it."
Seinfeld
"How can it not bother you?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I once saw this thing on TV with people who are terminally ill."
Seinfeld
"...is just to live every moment."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I've heard that."
Seinfeld
"Meanwhile, I'm here with you in a parking garage in Jersey."
Seinfeld
"That's a nice jacket. Where'd you get that?"
Seinfeld
"Some guy left it over at my mother's house."
Seinfeld
"First of all, you don't even know, technically, that I went."
Seinfeld
"I mean, I could have been pouring a bottle of water out there."
Seinfeld
"...it just so happens that I did pour water out."
Seinfeld
"...because pouring water out sounds very much like a person urinating."
Seinfeld
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